Hey everyone!!

[coconutballoon]

Hi!!
To everyone who is reading this, I would love to tell you my name but I haven't decided on one yet (any suggestions?? Preferably Indian girl name). I currently live in Toronto, Canada since the last 3 years; I'm an international student here, originally from India. and I'm 21 yrs old. So here goes my story... I have not told this to anyone except for my therapist.
When I was 13 years old I started having these feelings that I do not want to be a boy; I came across a video online of a guy changing into a girl and I've ever since wished something like that should happen to me. But sadly it didn't and I kept on getting these feelings that I'm not 100% myself and that is only the second-best version of myself. at that point, I didn't even know a term like "transgender" even existed and I kept on denying the feelings and kept on ignoring them, thinking that it's just my perversion. It was much later when I came to know that transgender people actually exist. after reading/ hearing more about it, I went in complete denial of what I am and what I want as society was very frightening, and because I did not want to accept it.
I moved to Canada by myself when I was 17 and saw a huge cultural difference. as people are more accepting here than in India, I started to gain a little (very very very little) confidence in who I am, and hence after staying in denial about it for 8 years, I finally started exploring and accepting the fact that I too am transgender. So as a 21st birthday gift I got myself an appointment with a gender therapist and I have had 3 sessions since. And as freeing, exciting, and fantastic it is to gradually accept the fact, it's also very terrifying, overwhelming, confusing and at times very silly to me as I am still in part-time denial. I have hundreds of questions that I would like answers of and also would absolutely LOVE to answer any questions any of you have. My dream/ fantasy is to transition all the way one day and finally be the person I feel I should have been all along (no hard feelings God  ) and find new family along the way.
I am officially not out of the closet yet, but I would love to hear from an Indian transwoman for her experience with a similar culture. And I would also love to make a lot of trans friends in Toronto and around the globe, who I can hang out with or just talk to about their transition. I still have lots to say coz its the first time I'm talking to a mass about it and it feels great; but before this intro becomes a college essay which I already feel it is; I would like to say that all you guys and girls out there helping each other are great and I'll be honoured to be a friend and part of this community.

Thanks for reading!!
With lots of LOVE!!   <3
Het (yeah that's my birth name that I'd love to change )

[MaryT]

Welcome CoconutBalloon,
Although I lost touch after moving back to Britain, I used to have a number of female friends with Indian backgrounds.  They and their daughters had lovely names such as Meena, Shivani, Kalash, Karishma and Shireen.  Most were Hindu names as I recall but I think that Shireen was Muslim.  The Hindu women said that the first letters of their daughters' names were chosen after consulting a priest who cast a horoscope.  Perhaps you could get a priest or astrologer to choose the first letter of your name.

[MeTony]

Welcome!

You have found a great corner of internet.

It is confusing and overwhelming to find yourself.



Tony

[coconutballoon]

Welcome CoconutBalloon,
Although I lost touch after moving back to Britain, I used to have a number of female friends with Indian backgrounds.  They and their daughters had lovely names such as Meena, Shivani, Kalash, Karishma and Shireen.  Most were Hindu names as I recall but I think that Shireen was Muslim.  The Hindu women said that the first letters of their daughters' names were chosen after consulting a priest who cast a horoscope.  Perhaps you could get a priest or astrologer to choose the first letter of your name.

Hello MaryT,

That is in fact a Hindu cultural thing and I consider doing so, but consulting a priest is pretty difficult in Toronto and asking my family would raise questions I'm not yet ready to answer. So it will have to wait till I  go to India or wait till I  come out to my parents (whichever happens first).

Thanks a lot for replying! 

[Roll]

Hi coconutballoon! (This is why I love the internet. I get to say things like "Hi coconutballoon" and not be considered insane for doing so.)

Names are tricky, but you one way or another you will stumble into one you like! I've 90% settled on mine, but I get so incredibly nervous about it still (it feels cute, and I don't feel I'm cute enough to live up to it  ).

[Laurie]

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[V M]

Hi Coconut     

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[coconutballoon]

Thank you V M, Tonie, Laurie, and Roll for the welcome and info about the site! 

Hi coconutballoon! (This is why I love the internet. I get to say things like "Hi coconutballoon" and not be considered insane for doing so.)

Names are tricky, but you one way or another you will stumble into one you like! I've 90% settled on mine, but I get so incredibly nervous about it still (it feels cute, and I don't feel I'm cute enough to live up to it  ).

Hahahaha!!  I did hope that the name would be totally weird and unique. And for your name I hope that you find the one that fits you best and not just 90% 

[V M]

I knew a girl named Coco (Not her real name) when I was young

Anyway, her nick name was coconut and she was really fun to hang out with

[coconutballoon]

Hello!!

Is it possible ti find a support group specific to a country?? I would love to talk to more Indian and Canadian (preferably in Toronto) transwomen who might be able to give me some advice or help me out with moving forward with my transition.

Thank you!!

[Allie24]

Thank you V M, Tonie, Laurie, and Roll for the welcome and info about the site! 
Hahahaha!!  I did hope that the name would be totally weird and unique. And for your name I hope that you find the one that fits you best and not just 90% 

I literally just changed the last two letters of my full name. I'd been called a gender neutral name all my life so I was never bothered really.

I don't know much about the socio-political geography of India, and I'd imagine that the regions within it vary as widely as they do in the U.S., but isn't there an accepted class of "transgender" people known there as hijra? (I say transgender in quotes because it's not their term, but the behaviors of the hijra are not dissimilar from those of transgender people in the West). Maybe it's a regional thing... from what I know the hijra even have some religious significance.