Silly to practice now?

[Bari Jo]

Hello, I'm about 3 months into hrt and maybe about 1/3 of the way to beard removal, and still losing weight.  Before I decided to finally transition, I was 32 lbs heavier, and had such massive GD, I had to dress at home, and I looked ridiculous.  It might be that the clothes didn't fit right, or there was no way to conceal the makeup, or masculine shaped eyebrows.  Anyway, it was massive fail, and made me even more skittish about myself.  Now, I'm better, but am wondering, should I even practice now, or wait till all the ducks are in a row and have more success?  Removing the beard will probably take six months from now, but i could do feminine eyebrows immediately.  I was waiting to do the eyebrows till I was ready to come out at work.  Should I just work on style?  I'm still losing weight, but down to a size 10.  My goal is a size 8.  I'd love some ideas on style.  I'm an artist/engineer.  Whenever they have those types in movies as women, it looks silly like in the new Ghostbusters.  I'm thinking of doing more steampunk OR Victorian making that my style, but do want to make sure it's the feminine I'm accentuating.  Oh, I don't think I'd ever be a skirt gal.  Anyway, confused on the way forward.

Bari Jo

[Julia1996]

Hello, I'm about 3 months into hrt and maybe about 1/3 of the way to beard removal, and still losing weight.  Before I decided to finally transition, I was 32 lbs heavier, and had such massive GD, I had to dress at home, and I looked ridiculous.  It might be that the clothes didn't fit right, or there was no way to conceal the makeup, or masculine shaped eyebrows.  Anyway, it was massive fail, and made me even more skittish about myself.  Now, I'm better, but am wondering, should I even practice now, or wait till all the ducks are in a row and have more success?  Removing the beard will probably take six months from now, but i could do feminine eyebrows immediately.  I was waiting to do the eyebrows till I was ready to come out at work.  Should I just work on style?  I'm still losing weight, but down to a size 10.  My goal is a size 8.  I'd love some ideas on style.  I'm an artist/engineer.  Whenever they have those types in movies as women, it looks silly like in the new Ghostbusters.  I'm thinking of doing more steampunk OR Victorian making that my style, but do want to make sure it's the feminine I'm accentuating.  Oh, I don't think I'd ever be a skirt gal.  Anyway, confused on the way forward.

Bari Jo

It's never too soon to practice skills you will need later. Practice your make up, arching your eyebrows, speaking, walking in high heels, etc. You might also try different wigs to find a hairstyle that looks good on you. You can also experiment with clothes to find colors that compliment you. Practice makes perfect as they say.

[Tammy Jade]

Julia is spot on, it all takes practice. The sooner you start the better you will be at it all when you decide to come out.

Voice, mannerisms, makeup it all takes time.. and sometimes it's the little things like being able to do up ur bra behind ur back..

It never hurts to practice I wish I had mastered a few things better before I came out because the learn as you go approach hasn't been the easiest way to do things.


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[Cindy]

Of course you should practice - and enjoy it as well.

I tell new girls and new guys, to sit in a shopping Mall and observe how people move, relate, talk, dress. Look at people your age and your income. You want to fit in to society in your own individual style but not like a sore thumb. Unless that of course is what you want. Some people do and do it very well, but it takes a certain individualism.

Walking in heels, even little heels is pretty easy at home. Do it for a day, walking from the car park to your work and then around your workplace is a different story. So practice everything.

Oh and Julia may relate to this, my hairdresser was showing me how to style my hair and I was getting frustrated. She said quietly and firmly. 'Hon, teen girls go to their bedroom at thirteen and come out at 18 having done nothing but practice hair and make up. I'm trying to teach you that in 15 minutes, so practice and learn'

[Tammy Jade]

Oh and Julia may relate to this, my hairdresser was showing me how to style my hair and I was getting frustrated. She said quietly and firmly. 'Hon, teen girls go to their bedroom at thirteen and come out at 18 having done nothing but practice hair and make up. I'm trying to teach you that in 15 minutes, so practice and learn'

We must have the same hairdresser mine basically said the same thing!


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[Cindy]

Oh and Julia may relate to this, my hairdresser was showing me how to style my hair and I was getting frustrated. She said quietly and firmly. 'Hon, teen girls go to their bedroom at thirteen and come out at 18 having done nothing but practice hair and make up. I'm trying to teach you that in 15 minutes, so practice and learn'

We must have the same hairdresser mine basically said the same thing!


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Could be. Mine is Parlour in Glenelg

[Julia1996]

Of course you should practice - and enjoy it as well.

I tell new girls and new guys, to sit in a shopping Mall and observe how people move, relate, talk, dress. Look at people your age and your income. You want to fit in to society in your own individual style but not like a sore thumb. Unless that of course is what you want. Some people do and do it very well, but it takes a certain individualism.

Walking in heels, even little heels is pretty easy at home. Do it for a day, walking from the car park to your work and then around your workplace is a different story. So practice everything.

Oh and Julia may relate to this, my hairdresser was showing me how to style my hair and I was getting frustrated. She said quietly and firmly. 'Hon, teen girls go to their bedroom at thirteen and come out at 18 having done nothing but practice hair and make up. I'm trying to teach you that in 15 minutes, so practice and learn'

Don't ever feel bad about having trouble with your hair and makeup. Your hairdresser is totally right. And it doesn't stop at age 18. As hair and makeup styles change you have to keep learning. I've had many women who had trouble trying to do their hair the way I was trying to show them. And there is a really good reason for that. It's HARD to do your own hair. I can do anything to someone else's hair, but if I try doing something elaborate with my own hair it ends up looking stupid. It's hard to do your own hair.  Makeup is something that totally takes LOTS of practice to get right. It's a learning process. The only reason some cis women are good at it is because they have been able to practice putting it on since they were 10 years old. And even that's not a guarantee they do it well. I've seen grown women who looked like they used a magik marker as make up. I started wearing make up when I was 14. I looked so stupid that a girl at school took pity on me and taught me the basics. And I'm still learning. People have told me how much they like my makeup in my avatar picture. I didn't do it. My friend Adam from work did it for that picture. In addition to doing hair he is an awesome makeup artist.  I've learned a lot from him too. But I still have epic fails with makeup. Adam had tried to teach me how to do a subtle smoky eye. I thought I had it down and tried it at home. My brother took one look at it, made a face, and told me i looked like the Joker from Dark Knight. I did once tell him not to let me go out of the house looking stupid. Hair and makeup are things we are constantly learning. Don't feel bad if you have trouble with them. If I have someplace special to go I have Adam do my hair and makeup so I can be sure my hair and makeup look good.

[Roll]

and sometimes it's the little things like being able to do up ur bra behind ur back..

This is my current white whale.

[Bari Jo]

Thanks for the guidance.  I'll start practicing this weekend and every weekend.  I'm going to give myself six months of practice, then hopefully full time.

[echo7]

Everybody looks silly at first.  When I look back at my early photos I cringe because it's so painful to look at them.

Nothing in transition comes easy, and that of course includes makeup and clothing.  You need to fully dedicate yourself to learning how to do these things.  Do not let fear or embarrassment stop you from learning.  Learning means making mistakes but it also means trying and trying again.

It takes time to develop your own personal style.  One of the most important things to do is to wear clothing in the proper colors to complement your skin tone.  Do a google search for "what colors should I wear?" and read everything you can.  Do this again for clothing for your body type, styles to match the season of the year, etc.  You have a lot of catching up to do compared to cis girls who learned this in their teenage years, so start now!