Having dealt with rubbish like this on a number of occasions, I just want to be sure you understand one thing, Julia. People will misgender (a quick flip of the bird to my spellchecker for underlining that word in red, by the way) you intentionally if they really, really want to push you away. This is not a matter of misunderstanding - she knows she's crossing a line here that you just do not cross. This is she'd like you to exit her life.
So slam the bloody door on her and don't look back. My own social circles seem to revolve in 2-4 year patterns depending on where I am, who I've been spending time with recently, who has to relocate for education or work, etc. Globalization and online relations mean people are less reliant on in-person connections than ever before - usually for school, work, or some other institution that brings groups of people together.
I think it would be very self-deluding these days, especially in gender related situations, to imagine that friends are for life, that people have your best interests in mind, etc. That's a bunch of filth. People are self-centered as all hell. You either find someone entertaining, or enjoyable to be around, or that they support your identity in some way, or serve some kind of purpose for you, or basically they're just a hanger-on. It's important to think of friendships in terms of what each person gets from the relationship and be sensitive to how that will evolve over time.
It's very, very rare that you find someone who will stand the test of time, where loyalty, honor, and devotion to something bigger than the both of you that unites you is the force at play. Cherish those when you find them. Everyone else is just another tosser and you really can take them or leave them without being any worse for wear - if you have the understanding and resolve necessary to accept the reality of the situation, that is.
EDIT for a quick anecdote: An old ex- messaged me a couple years back, asking how I was, explaining exactly why I'd been dismissed in this very fashion: claiming to feel very, very guilty about having done that to me, truly feeling much better off in life than deserved, etc. My response? Essentially, "I'm terrible, everything's awful!" (True at the time, by the way.) I mean seriously, if somebody is going to do that level of harm to me, and then put themselves up naked on a cross, damn right I'm going to call down a snowstorm and make them shiver too while they're up there. People like this are just not worth your time. Enjoy cleaning them out of your mind and life.
