The Roll Show! (Filmed Live in Front of a Studio Audience)

[Roll]

Thank you all for all the compliments, I've been on a huge high since yesterday!

When my sister is back from touring colleges, she is going to help me pick out new glasses (been putting it off!) and help me with makeup to reproduce the look in person! I know in reality it won't be quite that perfect, and as a three dimensional being (at least last time I checked) not all angles are quite as flattering, but nonetheless...!

Unfortunately these sorts of pictures just make me want to finish losing the weight even more!

Also, while it is not quite hitting them with the door itself, when I was pivoting into the pantry yesterday I made a hard swipe up against the frame with breasts, and momentum kept me going. It was... painful. Very painful. But wonderful too?

[Megan.]

Looking great hun, keep on doing whatever  you're doing, except bumping the the girls! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Roll]

Wow, just wow. Life sure knows how to knock you back down a peg. After being on a complete high from how great those pictures turned out, I wasn't even really down on myself for not dieting.

Well, this morning I found a weird lump under my chin. Sort of in the middle of the soft tissue below tongue/bottom of mouth. Given my family history with cancer, I am freaking out quite a bit. Realistically, I know its probably just a swollen lymph node, but I've never had one before so I don't really know what it feels like. Though I did realize as I type this I am sniffling pretty badly.

Wow. Well, that a weird, short roller coaster. In the course of typing this short post I went from "I am going to die" to "Oh wait, I probably have a slight cold".

[PurpleWolf]

Ellie, relax.........................!!! You are freaking out for NOTHING! Don't jump to cancer just yet, okay? Just the pure stress might've caused you to catch a cold so......!
Stressing out like that is just not healthy!!!
Keep looking at the pics, girl, and keep the high going!!! And sleep. And remember to eat something nutritious.

[Roll]

Ellie, relax.........................!!! You are freaking out for NOTHING! Don't jump to cancer just yet, okay? Just the pure stress might've caused you to catch a cold so......!
Stressing out like that is just not healthy!!!
Keep looking at the pics, girl, and keep the high going!!! And sleep. And remember to eat something nutritious.

I'm already over the thing earlier, I just thought it was funny how fast I flipped on it, literally in the course of posting.

[Cassi]

Ingrown hairs can be soooooooooooooooooooooo scary

[Roll]

Ingrown hairs can be soooooooooooooooooooooo scary

Not as serious as a hangnail at least. Those can really get you.

[Roll]

Okay, so, my weird groggy just woke up paranoia and endless back and forth on self image and anxiety aside...

Thank you all. From the bottom of my heart, thank every last one of you who has posted in this thread, sent me private message, or just have been here reading my insanity/whining/mania/idiocy. I truly mean it. Having people reach out to me, be it with words of support or a compliment, has meant the difference in me making it this far. It's easy for me to lose perspective that not so long ago, I was a shut-in with no hopes for the future in a state of perpetual and unacknowledged depression. Even my original post here just over half a year ago was written in a state of abject terror. This forum, or rather the people on it, have helped me more than I can ever put into words, and my gratitude will be eternal. I'm not sure what else to say, but I hope that I have been able to or will be able to give back even a fraction of what I have received. I <3 each and every one of you!

[davina61]

With you on that, I would be nowhere with out this site. The nips are well sore today, have my new softer forms on and not helping!!!!

[Drexy/Drex]

. Cherry coke chap stick is amazingly delicious and I should probably not eat it.

Lol it would be great for smooching 

[Rachel]

Roll, the avatar pic looks great.

I know the difficulties of losing weight. One day or one event does not make eating healthy fail. It is just one day or one event. I have been changing my diet and changing my activities to lose fat and gain a little lean muscle.  It is a life long process.

[Sarah_P]

Ellie, you've already added so much to this site yourself. You've made so many thoughtful and compassionate posts, not to mention the wonderful humor. In fact, you've helped a great deal in bringing out my own odd sense of humor. 

[Bari Jo]

I'm coming late to your photo shoot.  Great new Avatar Ellie.  You will be a heartbreaker for sure!  I think it's time to tame those brows though, go for threading?

Bari Jo

[Roll]

I'm coming late to your photo shoot.  Great new Avatar Ellie.  You will be a heartbreaker for sure!  I think it's time to tame those brows though, go for threading?

Bari Jo

I tried to work up the courage when i went for laser last week, but just couldn't bring myself to walk in the brow place. :/ I am going to try to work up the nerve to do it at local place with the help of my sister soon! (Busy schedules are a problem though )

[Northern Star Girl]

I tried to work up the courage when i went for laser last week, but just couldn't bring myself to walk in the brow place. :/ I am going to try to work up the nerve to do it at local place with the help of my sister soon! (Busy schedules are a problem though )

That is a very good plan.  In my early transition journey I had a small group of cis-women that supported me, went shopping with me, helped me with makeup and certainly went to the salon with me to support me when I had my first hair, nails and brow work done.... it was very helpful for me and eased my fears when I would go in with my friends.   
You are very fortunate to have a supportive sister!!!

Now, after more than 3 years of HRT and living full-time for a year and a half it is not a problem.
Keep us updated as I know you well.
Danielle

[amberwaves]

I tried to work up the courage when i went for laser last week, but just couldn't bring myself to walk in the brow place. :/ I am going to try to work up the nerve to do it at local place with the help of my sister soon! (Busy schedules are a problem though )

It gets easier.  The first time is always the hardest.  Just bear in mind there are totally guys who get there brows done too.

[Sarah_P]

It gets easier.  The first time is always the hardest.  Just bear in mind there are totally guys who get there brows done too.

That's true! The first time I went in to have my brows done (presenting male), the young lady doing them mentioned she had a lot of male clients.

[Roll]

So today I had an amazing time with my sister. For the first time, we just spent like an hour+ talking about clothes and makeup, and I showed her what I had. She was actually really impressed and jealous of some of the stuff I had bought.

What's funny is we are actually really similar in personality in a lot of ways, and I realized at one point early on that the clothes I was buying were stuff she would wear. I was really worried she'd be weird-ed out by that, but instead she was extremely flattered!

Was just another great experience with her, and I am going to just miss having her in my life on a daily basis when she goes off to college this fall, but at the same time I am just so proud of her and happy. I genuinely believe that beyond my own bias as a sibling, she is one of the sweetest, most genuinely caring people in the world (I swear its not even me and other family that says that) and I am so incredibly lucky to have her.

And sappiness is the order of the day!

[Northern Star Girl]

So today I had an amazing time with my sister. For the first time, we just spent like an hour+ talking about clothes and makeup, and I showed her what I had. She was actually really impressed and jealous of some of the stuff I had bought.

What's funny is we are actually really similar in personality in a lot of ways, and I realized at one point early on that the clothes I was buying were stuff she would wear. I was really worried she'd be weird-ed out by that, but instead she was extremely flattered!

Was just another great experience with her, and I am going to just miss having her in my life on a daily basis when she goes off to college this fall, but at the same time I am just so proud of her and happy. I genuinely believe that beyond my own bias as a sibling, she is one of the sweetest, most genuinely caring people in the world (I swear its not even me and other family that says that) and I am so incredibly lucky to have her.

And sappiness is the order of the day!

@ Elllie:  OH, that is wonderful.  Having your sister support you with such enthusiasm is a terrific ego and self-assurance booster for you in your transition journey.
Hmmm, since she can wear the clothes you buy.....  can you wear her clothes??  I have heard of sisters sharing their clothing...   is she the same size as you?
Danielle

[Roll]

@ Elllie:  OH, that is wonderful.  Having your sister support you with such enthusiasm is a terrific ego and self-assurance booster for you in your transition journey.
Hmmm, since she can wear the clothes you buy.....  can you wear her clothes??  I have heard of sisters sharing their clothing...   is she the same size as you?
Danielle

More just same tastes than same size. I wish I was as thin as her! right now I'm a large in top sizes and she's a thin medium just cause of height