The Roll Show! (Filmed Live in Front of a Studio Audience)

[Northern Star Girl]

Honestly I'm pretty sure based on what everyone has told me, Georgia is vague on purpose. Helps prevent legal challenges based on discriminatory wording while at the same time they can say stuff isn't covered by the book. :/

And while I'm posting, thought I'd mention two things...!

1) Well, my shopping in person block is just flat out gone now. Still haven't tried anything on except that one time, but it's hard to use the Walmart fitting rooms here even under normal circumstances (it's weird, they are centrally located and super open and controlled, probably a lot of theft concerns there I guess?).

2) So I was testing a few new tops last night and I realized something was missing, and I opted to put on the bra and fake rice boobs for the first time in a while. The rice boobs are painful to wear with the real boob growth, so haven't been using them. Well, the big D cup rice boobs definitely made the tops look nicer, but what really shocked me was when I took the rice boobs out with the bra still on. I know I've got a decent amount of real growth going, but holy crap, wearing that bra (not a pushup, just underwire) putting them in place I don't even need the rice boobs for the effect. I don't know exactly what size, but if I had to wager a guess I'd say full A. Now granted I'm still pretty overweight so that helps, but I really had the moobs almost gone prior to HRT.

Oh, also, I've decided on a course of action regarding diet... I have a stockpile of frozen dinners, probably a good 3-4 weeks worth (lean cuisine type things) that I am going to clear out, and if I haven't lost weight again by the time I'm done with them I am going to give Keto a whirl even if just to break the plateau (which people seem to say its good for even if you don't do it long term).

@ Ellie:   Oh yeah, I hear you about fitting rooms at some stores....  at the beginning of my transition that was indeed a frightful thing to go into a women's fitting room with an armful of women's clothes....and with the attendant watching.....  but as you continue with your journey it will become so much easier and then it will become a very natural thing.

Regarding... boob growth, yes, in one of your previous posts you posted some pics of you with new tops that you were showing us, if I remember correctly, the pic of you and your sister....   your twin girls were showing nicely along with small headlights!!!  I assume that was all natural YOU and not breast forms.... I am very happy for you....  your twin girls will keep getting bigger as you continue your journey.   A right of passage for me was to finally wear a bra without padding and also when going to the gym and/or jogging or running, absolutely needing a sports bra.

Hmmmm, regarding your diet plan....  might I suggest that you just keep the "frozen dinners" in the freezer and not try to "clear them out" ......   even though they are the "lean cuisine" type and probably smaller portions....perhaps it might be best to go on a low fat, lower carb diet of salads and lean protein and carefully watch your portion control....  using a smaller dinner plate helps too,   the frozen dinners will keep for a later time.

Thanks for your update, please continue to keep us informed about your progress like you have been doing..

Hugs,
Danielle

[Bari Jo]

Ellie, I've been on a few diets.  The best and easiest ones for me to stick to were just portion control.  Whatever you would normally eat cut the portion in half and save the rest for your next meal.  This way you still are eating the food you love.  Oh and get salad every now and then.  I'm a big fan of that too.

BTW, I thought of you ordering a video game I've been trying to get for years.  Super happy that I got my order in!  (Skull Girls for Vita)

Bari Jo

[Sarah_P]

Yep, you're hooked on shopping now! It's so addictive...

Huzzah on the boobage!

On the diet, that's actually what I've done in the past, and am doing right now. Mostly because frozen dinners are great for portion control (I like the lean cuisines!). Most of my issues now are living with a friend who cooks often, and makes extra for me. But I never know when she's not going to cook or has to work late, so I need food around that won't go bad. Otherwise I'd be eating out all the time, and that's no good for my waistline OR my wallet.
I've often considered the keto diet. I just don't know if I could give up some of the things I'd have to... I only just discovered how much I like them!

[Sarah_P]

BTW, I thought of you ordering a video game I've been trying to get for years.  Super happy that I got my order in!  (Skull Girls for Vita)

Bari Jo

I always loved the style of that game, but I'm terrible at fighters. Seriously, I can't get through some on super-easy.

[JulieAllana]

I've often considered the keto diet. I just don't know if I could give up some of the things I'd have to... I only just discovered how much I like them!

I do keto.  I find with a well defined line that says what foods I can/can't have it's easy to just say no.  There are also "cheat" foods that aren't really cheating, like Halo Top Ice Cream (1/4 the fat, carbs and calories of regular ice cream but still tastes and feels like ice cream) and other low carb fare (low carb brownies, low carb energy bars, low carb tortillas etc).  Keto for me though is a weight loss tool which I plan to transition to Paleo when I am finally at a weight I am happy with.  The point though is that I don't feel like I am missing anything on keto.  Even with keto though, there are no magic bullets, you still have to have portion control

                Julie

[Northern Star Girl]

I do keto.  I find with a well defined line that says what foods I can/can't have it's easy to just say no.  There are also "cheat" foods that aren't really cheating, like Halo Top Ice Cream (1/4 the fat, carbs and calories of regular ice cream but still tastes and feels like ice cream) and other low carb fare (brownies, energy bars, tortillas etc).  Keto for me though is a weight loss tool which I plan to transition to Paleo when I am finally at a weight I am happy with.  The point though is that I don't feel like I am missing anything on keto.  Even with keto though, there are no magic bullets, you still have to have portion control

                Julie

@JulieAllana   You are absolutely correct...  I have found that even if I am not on any kind of specific diet that as long as I carefully adhere to good portion control that I can keep my weight where I want it to be.
The comment by @Bari Jo  was right, one can just about eat what they want, perhaps half of what one would usually eat and save the other half for another meal at a later time. 
As I mentioned in an earlier comment... using smaller dinner plates or even a salad plate helps a lot with portion control efforts. 
Obviously, intelligent food choices really help....  excess portions of ice cream, candy, cookies, cake, french fries, etc.... are not something to be eaten in large quantities... but they can still be enjoyed from time to time in smaller portions.
Danielle

[Roll]

Portion control is my #1 issue, if its put in front of me I  WILL eat it, every time. The frozen dinners help with that a lot, and I stick to the healthier options (no preservatives, stuff like lean cuisine or specific stouffers, zatarans for a treat, etc).

Anywho, THE STREAK CONTINUES! I went to return a few things I bought yesterday that didn't fit, and said screw it and went into Ulta. Even though its supposedly better, not sure if there is a Sephora here and Ulta was next to Old Navy (which the Old Navy here is really terrible, their sale items are like non existent, one I went to last time was in Savannah). Anywho, I told one of the women there what I was looking for: "I'm transgender, I want to cover beard shadow and find the right shade foundation without having the heavy caked on feeling." She was great, told me a bit about her growing in Albuquerque alongside drag shows to try to put me at ease. Anyway, wound up getting a $18 corrector that from Cover FX to try, and a Cover FX N10 foundation. The foundation matches way better than the drugstore stuff I've bought. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to go through the corrector really quickly as much as its going to take, and it still does cake on the stubble and bumps a bit around beard area. But then there might not even be a solution to that given the courseness and thickness of my beard. But hey, it's getting remarkably better every laser, so maybe it won't be an issue much longer! I look forward to going back soon as I feel like I can and getting a full makeover.

One of the things I bought yesterday I had to return was a sports bra. Turns out large/12-14 in everything else does not translate into sports bras, at least this brand, and it wouldn't even go over my head. So I grabbed an XL/16-18, and it's still really tight. I think it's a my ribcage size not having any give issue. Feels little suffocating to wear it, but boy o' boy did it make a difference walking up and down the stairs. It is not really visible under a shirt, except for unfortunately at the straps which come out under neck hole a bit, so going to have to figure something else out for tamping down the boobage while in male mode.

And lastly................... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soooooooooooooo. With only the light foundation on, and beard shadow even slightly visible still (definitely going to have to go a bit heavier on corrector) I just tried faceapp. No wig. No lipstick, no pouty faces. It gendered me female.

I'm going to start to look into a real quality wig to hold me over for the next 6-8 months while hair gets settled. And once laser does enough to make shaving tolerable (session 3 coming Monday)... I think i'm getting to the point mentally where I want/need to start going part or full time.

[JulieAllana]

I think i'm getting to the point mentally where I want/need to start going part or full time.

WOOHOO!!  Go baby go! 

[Allison S]

Really good healthy eating advice from everyone. Yes, frozen dinners need to stay in the freezer. I mean one or two here and there is fine but don't risk your health eating those everyday for weeks!! That's crazy. You're better off getting freshly made tacos or a burrito or something like that. Portion control is good (half now and half later) but if you feel like you're hungry enough to eat the whole burrito than that's okay too. But just drink water after and go for a walk an hour or so after eating. Get your body to use those nutrients to help your body run (not literally). Our bodies know what we need we just gotta give it a little (food) and then get it to work for us (exercise). That's how I got my booty lol well I always have had it but I plan on keeping it

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Roll]

The higher quality frozen stuff is no different than fresh health wise, the truth is that the majority of everything we eat has been frozen at one point unless you live near the source. Prepared frozen food is no different than unprepared when all is said and done, unless its the super cheap stuff (ie: hot pockets, microwave burritos, or super processed chicken patties as opposed to whole meat), it's a common misconception from the years when the were all loaded with 2000% the daily sodium value (but even then, the thoughts on sodium are changed radically in general, and may not apply to most of us outright courtesy of spiro ).

[Sarah_P]

I think i'm getting to the point mentally where I want/need to start going part or full time.

    YAY ELLIE!!!! Keep breaking down those barriers and go for it!

The higher quality frozen stuff is no different than fresh health wise, the truth is that the majority of everything we eat has been frozen at one point unless you live near the source. Prepared frozen food is no different than unprepared when all is said and done, unless its the super cheap stuff (ie: hot pockets, microwave burritos, or super processed chicken patties as opposed to whole meat), it's a common misconception from the years when the were all loaded with 2000% the daily sodium value (but even then, the thoughts on sodium are changed radically in general, and may not apply to most of us outright courtesy of spiro ).

Exactly. We're not talking about banquet or the other cheapo brands, we're talking higher quality stuff. BTW, Marie Callendar meals are really good. There's a brand of frozen Italian dinners I love called Michelangelo's, and it has 0 preservatives - even has an expiration date on it! Good stuff. And now I'm hungry.

I like that keto means I can eat plenty of meat, but if I have to give up frozen custard and/or cheesecake.... that's a fate worse than death to me. 

[JulieAllana]

I like that keto means I can eat plenty of meat, but if I have to give up frozen custard and/or cheesecake.... that's a fate worse than death to me. 

Well, you will just have to find alternative sweeteners for those desserts (there are a bunch out there that are even all natural) and you might have to do some of the cooking yourself.  Also, more than meats, keto should be high in good fats like avocado, nuts, olives, flax etc.  I have found a recipe for making crackers our of flax which is kinda cool.

      Julie

[Roll]

Well, you will just have to find alternative sweeteners for those desserts (there are a bunch out there that are even all natural) and you might have to do some of the cooking yourself.  Also, more than meats, keto should be high in good fats like avocado, nuts, olives, flax etc.  I have found a recipe for making crackers our of flax which is kinda cool.

      Julie

Keto is definitely free time intensive if you want to eat more than sandwich meats. Gotta do a lot of cooking. Fortunately I think I am over the hump on my schedule for the next few months.

Anywho, so as I mentioned, I put on my new ulta makeup when i got home, and oh my god! The difference is incredible! I wore it all day, and until I told them people didn't even know I was wearing makeup. I actually forgot myself for a while, it was so much lighter and breathed better, while providing even more coverage. Definitely need to get a good primer (they recommended "Blur", as well as, funny enough, something sold at Sephora I can't remember the name of for the life of me) to knock out some of the texture issues, but it was really great all around. Still so happy faceapp gendered me like that.

[Northern Star Girl]

Keto is definitely free time intensive if you want to eat more than sandwich meats. Gotta do a lot of cooking. Fortunately I think I am over the hump on my schedule for the next few months.

Anywho, so as I mentioned, I put on my new ulta makeup when i got home, and oh my god! The difference is incredible! I wore it all day, and until I told them people didn't even know I was wearing makeup. I actually forgot myself for a while, it was so much lighter and breathed better, while providing even more coverage. Definitely need to get a good primer (they recommended "Blur", as well as, funny enough, something sold at Sephora I can't remember the name of for the life of me) to knock out some of the texture issues, but it was really great all around. Still so happy faceapp gendered me like that.

@Roll ... Ellie, that is good news about your makeup choices... obviously you will need to post some new photos soon showing the great results....  hang on to your wallet... it is easy to spend too much money on makeup if one is not careful.

Ahhh,, the Keto diet....  yeah, I know that it is "meat intensive" but lunch and sandwich meats are most likely not the best choices....  lean turkey, fish, lean pork and chicken are good choices I would think.... hey, and what's wrong with cooking your  meals, I find cooking and baking to be a fun activity plus you will know exactly what you put into you meals.

Thanks for keeping us updated....
Hugs,
Danielle

[Roll]

Oh trust me, I love cooking! Got some posts in the dinner thread to prove it. More an issue of no free time the past few months than anything would have prevented me from even considering cooking too often (hence the frozen dinners from before ).

Fun random side thing regarding cooking... Me and my sister have talked "semi-jokingly" about opening a restaurant. Semi jokingly because it's something we would legitimately love to do, but know that it would be completely financially impractical and that we don't have proper management training. But we've talked about menus (I'm the chef! ), found a spot that would be an amazing location, and even talked about clientele and strategy!

(Completely seriously, the area we live in desperately needs a bistro/cafe type place. There are tons of neighborhoods that have sprung up here, but there aren't any places to eat but one steakhouse that has been here since before the place was built up (whose whole theme was that it was out in the middle of nowhere, and now its just surrounded by residences) which has become pretty terrible since changing management and is way too expensive to boot. A more casual, but quality, place to eat that is open for breakfast and lunch in walking/biking distance of where we are would not only have literally every person here eating there, but also be the closest source of food for people who live on the north end of the island, which is a full additional 10-15 minutes away from everything. Some people have expanded eating places a bit just south of us (the island runs pretty straight south to north along one road, with everything focused around the south where the beach is, with the middle part being the newly built up area I'm in), but even then it is a tiny selection and not in walking distance. The population of the island has skyrocketed, but the stores and restaurants have not caught up in the slightest and really can only support 1/3rd the current population, and we get loaded with tourists as well. Very few places don't have hour+ waits every night of the week, and on the south end of the island parking is non-existent because it was not designed with future growth in mind at all.)

[JulieAllana]

hey, and what's wrong with cooking your  meals, I find cooking and baking to be a fun activity plus you will know exactly what you put into you meals.

Here here!  I am particular about several ingredients in food that are hard to avoid in processed food: MSG, high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils (transfat).  When I make my own meals I don't have to worry about any of that stuff.

            Julie

[PurpleWolf]

And the hits keep on coming!

I finally found the ... I dunno, courage I guess but it didnt feel like it, to show my family me fully dressed. This first picture is my favorite, because... I dunno, I guess I just feel like it's honest. you can see the weight I still have to lose and male muscle mass that still needs to go, but it is what it is. It was taken by my sister who loaned me an old purse!

LOVE THE NEW PICS OF YOU  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girl, I didn't recognize you in that first one! I scrolled back to your last post - and thought hey, that's a new girl I haven't seen in here yet - and then I read the name 'Roll' and thought, OMG...  ! That's you!!! You look awesome & amazing!

I'm so happy for you!!! Seeing those pics made me smile big time  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so damn excited!!!

[Roll]

LOVE THE NEW PICS OF YOU  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girl, I didn't recognize you in that first one! I scrolled back to your last post - and thought hey, that's a new girl I haven't seen in here yet - and then I read the name 'Roll' and thought, OMG...  ! That's you!!! You look awesome & amazing!

I'm so happy for you!!! Seeing those pics made me smile big time  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so damn excited!!!

I still can't believe how much I look like my mom in the first one. I am trying to find a younger picture of her to compare, but it was stark enough my I felt like it unsettled my dad a bit. (Which amuses me for some reason. )

[Roll]

Bleh, may plan to walk around fully dressed (that sounds weird out of context) this weekend has been shot down by everyone deciding to not be here except for the guy doing the roof. And while my courage is way up, not really cool with strutting around for a stranger's benefit.

So I added my twitter account to my profile. That marks the first of blending of worlds so to speak, even if my twitter is entirely unused until the past few weeks and both tweets are trans related hashtags and only one friend following me. (Seriously, I used it to access certain things that needed twitter info, but it was not used-used at all. Same with my Facebook, but I do have a few people I'm not out to yet there so its still under male name. But oddly as part of transitioning, I'm finding I want to engage people more in social media as well instead of hiding away in my little isolated corners of the internet.)

Also... wow, how is this thread 40 pages? I talk too much.

[davina61]

Talk away love , I find it helps keep the mind clear