The Roll Show! (Filmed Live in Front of a Studio Audience)

[Sarah_P]

Ellie, you continue to amaze me. You've become a strong, caring, totally awesome young lady.

You're always welcome to swing by Kansas City and visit us!

[Roll]

Ellie, you continue to amaze me. You've become a strong, caring, totally awesome young lady.

You're always welcome to swing by Kansas City and visit us!

Oh, it's on my list. You guys seem like you're having fun.   <3

[Rachel]

Hello Ellie,

I am sorry about your step Mom, I hope the test comes back with good news.

I have been on PrEP for about 3 months. I take T (I am post op) now in low dose due to bone softening potential for long term use. I am taking the anti viral because if I meet someone and we click I will want to be protected. I also carry barrier protection in my purse and lube packets.

PrEP is expensive, my insurance covers all but about $130 per script. I called Gardian and have a card that I present to the pharmacy and the $130 is waved. If I did not have insurance I would go to my trans pharmacy at Mazzoni and use the 430B program.

PrEP just could be the tipping point in the HIV infection rates. I wish all of the community were on it. 33% of trans woman in Philly have HIV. 75% in select sub sets of the community. Higher for those the do street work to survive.

HIV is treatable and there is medication that can lover viral load and keep the T cells up.

[Roll]

Ouch, that is a lot more than I was expecting. I hope medicaid covers more than that or I can't afford it at all. :/

[Roll]

IM IN NEW YORK!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I broke down and cried on the plane twice. Once above the clouds, and then over the city. I literally never believed I would ever see those things. It hit me hard, realizing how much my life had changed for the better.

[amberwaves]

IM IN NEW YORK!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I broke down and cried on the plane twice. Once above the clouds, and then over the city. I literally never believed I would ever see those things. It hit me hard, realizing how much my life had changed for the better.

Love how far you've come in such a short time girlfriend.

[Jayne01]

IM IN NEW YORK!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I broke down and cried on the plane twice. Once above the clouds, and then over the city. I literally never believed I would ever see those things. It hit me hard, realizing how much my life had changed for the better.

Have a great time in New York!

[Sarah_P]

So you've seen clouds from both sides now?

Congrats! Glad you made it, have a great time In the Fruit of Unusual Size!

[Roll]

So yeah.

Spent all afternoon yesterday female mode, no one cared. Apparently I'm bad at spotting us though, because I was nervous not seeing any obviously trans people at first but my step mother said she had seem like 20 people actively advertising it in the first half hour... Soooooo, that's a thing.

Anyway, had a ton of fun. I have officially fallen in love with the city, I instantly felt at home. Just... just the whole feel of it seemed right to me. After I finish grad school I'm 99% sure I want to move up here.

Only downside is all of the girls here are making me dysphoric as all hell. Where I live the typical woman is a bit overweight, as tall if not taller than me, and broad shouldered if nothing else. I feel super fat here.

[Allison S]

Nyc? Yeah it's an interesting place lol
What did she mean "advertising it"? I think it depends where you go too somewhat

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[Northern Star Girl]

So yeah.

Spent all afternoon yesterday female mode, no one cared. Apparently I'm bad at spotting us though, because I was nervous not seeing any obviously trans people at first but my step mother said she had seem like 20 people actively advertising it in the first half hour... Soooooo, that's a thing.

Anyway, had a ton of fun. I have officially fallen in love with the city, I instantly felt at home. Just... just the whole feel of it seemed right to me. After I finish grad school I'm 99% sure I want to move up here.

Only downside is all of the girls here are making me dysphoric as all hell. Where I live the typical woman is a bit overweight, as tall if not taller than me, and broad shouldered if nothing else. I feel super fat here.

@Roll
Dear Ellie: Very nice to read your good report and your excitement about being in the big city.... stay cool up there... there is obviously a heatwave and high humidity there that will raise havoc with your makeup.

Hmmmm, "actively advertising their transwoman status"   .... that is not what I ever want to do.  In my case in my situation I try very hard to dress and act respectfully and up here where I am that also means conservatively,  I do not think that shoving our transwoman status in anyone's face and making a point of announcing or "advertising" that is in any way productive....  if anything, being "militant" about our trans-status can be a big turn off in our acceptance in our communities.... 
Since I came out to everyone, I do not try to hide my past and the subject rarely comes up for discussion ... but if it does I will honestly share my life experiences.

Just my opinion.....
Have fun, be safe, and enjoy being in female mode as much as you feel comfortable doing so.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Jayne01]

Hi Ellie,

Glad you are enjoying NYC. It's an awesome city that has a life of its own. In a city as big as New York, you will come across all kinds of people and people don't care about other people's business. You could walk down the street dressed as goat and you wouldn't get a second look.

Enjoy your time there. Is your theatre night tonight? Have fun!

Hugs,
Jayne

[Roll]

In hotel,  feet on fire, getting dolled up for Hamilton!

And by advertising it she meant shirts and other stuff like that. I actually bought a big trans flag pin and a us stars and stripes with rainbow stripes.

I'm dying during the day in makeup and wig, but its cooler here and less hunks than where I'm from so... just a matter of I dont walk 8 miles in that heat at home

[davina61]

Ive come over all Frank Sinartra, dum dum dededum dum dum dum deedeedum new York new York. Ellie love hope it all goes well and soak it up , a memory for a life time

[Roll]

Just waiting on my sister to help me with eye makeup which im bad at.

And thinking... I might be full time. I mean... I've switched over all of my social media accounts, I've told everyone I know to switch names and pronouns, I will casually dress full femme around house... I often go out without makeup and visible beard shadow and just a hat no wig, but im always wearing all women's clothes but for unisex t-shirt. That's more logistics in the summer heat and cost of makeup than anything else. There are a few remnants I have ignored for ease, such as school since they can't change my name until its legal but it's online anyway and I don't really interact wit anyone...

So yeah. I think I might qualify as full time?!

[TonyaW]

In hotel,  feet on fire, getting dolled up for Hamilton!

And by advertising it she meant shirts and other stuff like that. I actually bought a big trans flag pin and a us stars and stripes with rainbow stripes.

I'm dying during the day in makeup and wig, but its cooler here and less hunks than where I'm from so... just a matter of I dont walk 8 miles in that heat at home

This wasn't you was it?

http://bit.ly/2Ini7tN

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[Roll]

Thank god no! it was truly amazing. Seriously loves up to and then surpasses the hype. Amazing show for my first Broadway show!!

[TonyaW]

Awesome.

Didn't think so but thought it funny that it was posted on FML today not too long after I read that you were going.

And I'd say if there is nowhere that you are still purposely presenting male on a regular basis that you would be full time.  It's a wonderful feeling to no longer be hiding yourself.
Congratulations

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[amberwaves]

Just waiting on my sister to help me with eye makeup which im bad at.

And thinking... I might be full time. I mean... I've switched over all of my social media accounts, I've told everyone I know to switch names and pronouns, I will casually dress full femme around house... I often go out without makeup and visible beard shadow and just a hat no wig, but im always wearing all women's clothes but for unisex t-shirt. That's more logistics in the summer heat and cost of makeup than anything else. There are a few remnants I have ignored for ease, such as school since they can't change my name until its legal but it's online anyway and I don't really interact wit anyone...

So yeah. I think I might qualify as full time?!

It's funny but there is no real fanfare that happens.  Suddenly you just realize hey I guess I'm full-time now.  That's why it's always so hard for me to answer when people he ask how long I've been fulltime for.  Still it's awesome though.

[Roll]

Another busy day. Empire state building,  times square, dinner at an amazing Brazilian place with a super sweet waiter. Got a picture of me with the NY public library Ghostbusters lions because I'm a nerd. And found my mecca in the Nintendo store.

Unfortunately, while I'm going back out in a little bit, as well as have some stuff tomorrow before leaving that marks the end being dressed full fem this trip. The logistics of the wig and makeup is just too much for me and it has been really physically uncomfortable. So I'm going to basically just be wearing a t-shirt with a hat on as usual but also the trans and LGBT flag pins I bought, and of course still going fully by Ellie. But hey the wig in the clothes and makeup are not what make me a woman. I'm just going to own the short hair and thinness.