Need some advice?

[Lisa89125]

Hi everyone, I really could use some advice. I used to be really good friends with a fellow in high school. We both share interest in the rails and both are so called "foamers". After we graduated he went in to the service and I went about my life. Last night I got a message out of the blue. Not only does my old friend live in the same town, He wants to go hang out and do some railfanning like we did all those years ago. My problem is though is he is ultra religious and would be totally unaccepting of me now as a woman.

What do I do now? Give up presenting female and cut my hair off and go train chasing with my friend? Or do I try to explain MTF to him??? Sarcasm is not working as I am freaking out.

Damn it ladies, I don't know what to do at all here???

Lisa

[LizK]

Hi Lisa

I think you have to be honest. Some people will never accept you and you just have to accept that for yourself however people will surprise you constantly. Just because someone is religious does not mean they will not accept you, although I understand your trepidation.

He has been gone from your life and now there is a possibility he might be back...as the old saying goes Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Liz

[Lisa89125]

Hi Liz, It's been probably almost a decade plus a few since we last saw each other. He is from the deep South and of the type that is most definitely not going to be accepting of anything out of the box of normal. I used to get the pleasure of listening to his mom preach to me about religion. I hated going to his house when she was home. We used to butt heads on this religious related stuff even then.

We used to get together and rattle on about trains all day. I bet we would end up doing the same again. Once a railfan, forever a railfan!

The only disagreement between us was about engine types. I prefer steam and he likes the diesel trains.

Lisa

[LizK]

Hi Liz, It's been probably almost a decade plus a few since we last saw each other. He is from the deep South and of the type that is most definitely not going to be accepting of anything out of the box of normal. I used to get the pleasure of listening to his mom preach to me about religion. I hated going to his house when she was home. We used to butt heads on this religious related stuff even then.

We used to get together and rattle on about trains all day. I bet we would end up doing the same again. Once a railfan, forever a railfan!

The only disagreement between us was about engine types. I prefer steam and he likes the diesel trains.

Lisa

I also prefer steam....maybe its the noise, the size, the smell or a combination but they do get me excited. I agree once a railfan always a railfan!!I can remember loving going to my Aunt's house as the railway line ran along her back fence and in those days the trains were infrequent but very exciting.

Liz

[pamelatransuk]

Hello again Lisa

My advice would be to correspond by e-mail or text and try to ascertain if his religious opposition ( I assume he is a "born again evangelical" type) has mellowed or even changed in the time since you hung out. Then you have more information before deciding whether to meet up and perhaps rekindle your friendship.

Some people fortunately do change in 13 years. I hope he has and you may both be friends again.

Hugs

Pamela 

[Maid Marion]

Suppressing your true gender for relationship rarely turns out well.

[Lisa89125]

Liz, It's something about the magic fluid. Steam is pure magic!

Maid Marion, I agree. I would never sacrifice my true self for anything. I was just really taken aback by seeing his email after all these years.

Lisa

[Lisa89125]

Update, I decided to contact my old school mate. I am totally shocked! He seems to be fine with me being trans. It's weird in that he's different from what I remember all those years ago.

Lisa

[DawnOday]

I have a hand full of friends I have had since kindergarten 62 years ago.  Most my other friends were from high school 50 years ago. I've been in kind of a drought since then.  Some are different and we are the hippy generation. Now, a lot of them are old, conservative , Fox watchers. There are several ex loves that I would like to see again. One in particular, My ex wife. I talked to her a few years ago and that is how I realized my gender confusion caused our demise. I have learned since then that there is nothing I could have done differently. I was born with a female centric brain. Although maybe because I was always told to man up because I have a penis I tried too hard to prove it. But I never really was successful. Oh I have two kids but they were more rimshots than slam dunks, if you know what I mean. But yes, if I could go back in time I would do anything to help her understand and since she is a RN, she may actually be ok now since that was the 70's but many people are accepting these days.

[Linde]

Hi Liz, It's been probably almost a decade plus a few since we last saw each other. He is from the deep South and of the type that is most definitely not going to be accepting of anything out of the box of normal. I used to get the pleasure of listening to his mom preach to me about religion. I hated going to his house when she was home. We used to butt heads on this religious related stuff even then.

We used to get together and rattle on about trains all day. I bet we would end up doing the same again. Once a railfan, forever a railfan!

The only disagreement between us was about engine types. I prefer steam and he likes the diesel trains.

Lisa

He can't be more from the deep south than my neighbor from Cuba.  We have a loose, beer drinking buddy, relation, and I was so concerned to come out to him, cause you know, those Latino machos!
I had to come out to him because he caught me en feme outside.  When I told him, he just shrugged his shoulders and asked if I would still drink a beer with him once in a while!  His entire machoness now is that he hauls my garbage can back to the garage on garbage day!

Your friend might be a very similar macho as my Cuban friend?

[pamelatransuk]

Update, I decided to contact my old school mate. I am totally shocked! He seems to be fine with me being trans. It's weird in that he's different from what I remember all those years ago.

Lisa

I am so glad this has worked out so well for you. People can change in 13 years.

I wish you both a happy rekindled friendship.

Sending Hugs to you both.

Pamela  xx

[Maid Marion]

That is great news!

[Lisa89125]

Pam & Marion, Thank you both.

I guess 8 years in the Navy and getting married can make a difference. He's not the same person that's for sure.

Lisa

[Lisa89125]

Just an update on this little saga. It all blew up.

Supposedly excepting but never bothered to contact me any further after he stopped by. I guess I freaked him out. 

Lisa

[Maid Marion]

Sorry it didn't work out.  Thanks for letting us know.

[pamelatransuk]

Truly sorry to hear this.

Hugs

Pamela  xx