Faith's Progress

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi Faith,

  I also read you awesome night post and even though I responded to it. But I'll be darned if I know where it went. I probably didn't notice that the warning that someone else had posted before me ( @Alaskan Danielle ) and messed up posting mine. Anyway I agree it was an awesome night.

Hugs,
  Laurie

@Laurie
Dear Laurie:
I am so very sorry that I messed up your reply posting...   you might have noticed that I am pretty quick on the trigger when posting on the Forums.... 
Perhaps this is your signal to increase your typing speed

Wow, I am glad that you are not the only one that posts stuff and somehow the comment never gets on to the thread....   happens to me on occasion as well.   It is good to know that WE are only human.

So, back to the wonderful report and recent postings by @Faith and Lori @DiLoris  .....    truly a blessing for me to read about you two....   all of us on the Forums love both of you and we are wishing you much happiness.

Hugs and well wishes to all.
Danielle

[Faith]

@Faith
Dear Faith: 
I have read it, twice in fact, I didn't want to miss all the happy moments that you mentioned.
.... I just posted my reply comment to it on your thread....
Keep the updates coming!!!   

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

So much more to add, I can't type them all. Thank you for giving it a twice over, I'm sure it was just as confusing the second time though

Hi Faith,

  I also read you awesome night post and even though I responded to it. But I'll be darned if I know where it went. I probably didn't notice that the warning that someone else had posted before me ( @Alaskan Danielle ) and messed up posting mine. Anyway I agree it was an awesome night.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Dont worry about it Laurie, I know you're watching and judging  paying attention in case we slip up and need fridge time need gentle direction and support.

@Laurie ... <snip> ...So, back to the wonderful report and recent postings by @Faith and Lori @DiLoris  .....    truly a blessing for me to read about you two....   all of us on the Forums love both of you and we are wishing you much happiness.

Hugs and well wishes to all.
Danielle

Thank you very much Danielle. You've been very inspiration with all your positive thoughts and posts. I hope I gave some back to others on here in some small way.

Kathy, I know you posted in the other thread. Although I didn't reply directly, I saw your post. Thank You. And, more dancing? I don't think I'll have a choice. Pretty sure I'll be dragged onto the dance floor the next time.

[Donica]

Yes, I read it too Faith. I left a comment for you both. An absolutely wonderful update.

Hugs you two!
Donica.

[Faith]

Hey Donica .. oh, odd story for you. I was helping Lori learn the ropes on the forum and your profile name said bowl, that's right bowl. why is that? O.o oddest thing ...

When that one lady asked about my hair and Lori responded with 'HE .... '. Things could have gone downhill rapidly. Instead it all worked out for the best and I have even more supporters now. We need to keep in mind, not all misgenderings are a bad thing.

[Donica]

I concur! Bowl? not sure either. I'll look into it? Were you seeing double? I know you and Lori had a bid night last night!

[Faith]

I concur! Bowl? not sure either. I'll look into it? Were you seeing double? I know you and Lori had a bid night last night!

probably just a forum database glitch pulling up the username. I just thought that maybe you were having an identity crisis ........ oh, wait ..................

I can't stop thinking about last night. Take away the people that know me and no one saw a guy, they saw a woman
..... weeeeee .....

Even the one friend that knows me well said that if he didn't know he wouldn't be able to tell. Apparently I make a beautiful woman ..... must have been the smoke, smoking is still allowed in there .....

[Donica]

No, it's not the smoke.

[steph2.0]

Apparently I make a beautiful woman ..... must have been the smoke, smoking is still allowed in there .....

Anyone who says otherwise is blowing smoke.

Faith, the confidence engendered by success can't  be underestimated. I was scared for a long time, until I got out there and was recognized as a woman by most, and fully accepted by the rest.

I love seeing you happy like this. You've passed one of the biggest milestones we face.

Congratulations!

Stephanie

[Faith]

previous:

12/29/2017
TESTOSTERONE      703   ng/dL

05/09/2018
Estradiol         125.2                                   pg/mL     P1
06/13/2018
TESTOSTERONE      201   H  ng/dL

current

09/22/2018
ESTRADIOL   118  (19-144 Mid-Cycle)
TESTOSTERONE, TOTAL, MS    8 (2-45, normal)


note:
bad blood specimen, again. I have no idea if the results are tainted.

[Faith]

Anyone who says otherwise is blowing smoke.

Faith, the confidence engendered by success can't  be underestimated. I was scared for a long time, until I got out there and was recognized as a woman by most, and fully accepted by the rest.

I love seeing you happy like this. You've passed one of the biggest milestones we face.

Congratulations!

Stephanie

Oh hey Steph. I love being this way!! WOOOO, what a rush!

Seen as a woman, well, it does seem to be happening more and more with people that don't already know me. I guess that's a win . Now I need it to happen when I'm not all doctored up.

Smoke Blowing, it's an Art form. We need to tell Art to shut it.

Daily note:
My younger (not youngest) brother is down visiting. We haven't seen each other since waaay early in announcing my 'change'. He bought a new car, he drove his old one down and asked if I still wanted it. I sad, "How Much?" he replied, "$0.00". At that price how could I say no. So, come Saturday, I'll have a newer(ish) car to drive. a 2003 Subaru Baja. He keeps meticulous maintenance so I should get another 60K miles out of it before it dies (known for blown head gaskets at ~400k, it's at 304) Still better than what I have.

We sat chatting for a bit (Lori at work) I filled him in a bit on what's going on with me. He was the 'whatever makes you happy' then nothing after that response. Anyways, at one point I looked down at my top and said, "I meant to change before you got here". His reply, "You did change before I got here ... Ha!, you stepped into that one Faith".

double entendre, it's well practiced & polished in our family ... but he called me Faith. I guess he's OK

[Northern Star Girl]

Oh hey Steph. I love being this way!! WOOOO, what a rush!

Seen as a woman, well, it does seem to be happening more and more with people that don't already know me. I guess that's a win . Now I need it to happen when I'm not all doctored up.

Smoke Blowing, it's an Art form. We need to tell Art to shut it.

Daily note:
My younger (not youngest) brother is down visiting. We haven't seen each other since waaay early in announcing my 'change'. He bought a new car, he drove his old one down and asked if I still wanted it. I sad, "How Much?" he replied, "$0.00". At that price how could I say no. So, come Saturday, I'll have a newer(ish) car to drive. a 2003 Subaru Baja. He keeps meticulous maintenance so I should get another 60K miles out of it before it dies (known for blown head gaskets at ~400k, it's at 304) Still better than what I have.

We sat chatting for a bit (Lori at work) I filled him in a bit on what's going on with me. He was the 'whatever makes you happy' then nothing after that response. Anyways, at one point I looked down at my top and said, "I meant to change before you got here". His reply, "You did change before I got here ... Ha!, you stepped into that one Faith".

double entendre, it's well practiced & polished in our family ... but he called me Faith. I guess he's OK

@Faith
Dear Faith:
WOW... another terrific update from you.... you have turned into a bright beacon of hope and good news.

A lot of this positive change in your transition outlook is due to your blood test results being much improved over the last 10 months but also as @Steph2.0 mentioned in her stated in her reply to you:
     "Faith, the confidence engendered by success can't  be underestimated."

I got a chuckle out of what your brother said to you:
      "You did change before I got here ... Ha!, you stepped into that one Faith"

.... and all of that is further made nicer by the fact that he called you "Faith"

You have become quite the positive transitioner on here, it is a joy to see that you are so happy.
Hugs and hugs, and continued well wishes,
Danielle

[Faith]

Here I am back at the routine at work and nothing is routine. I want to runaround telling everyone about my weekend, I want to shout it down the halls. Most of the people here would just be like, "eh, so? you had a good time." without picking on on how much it means to me.

I did fill in our receptionist and she was, "See, you were all worried about your appearance and broad shoulders and look what happened". So, I got an 'I told you so'. At least she was happy for me

Am I bouncy? Oh yeah. How the heck can I just sit here banging a keyboard with all this bottled up and wanting out? I'll manage. I suppose I'll have to suffer being happy in silence.



bummer note. We found a trigger, hit me hard last night and brought me to tears. I'll not reiterate. Suffice to say, Lori made a comment in passing, jokingly. Logically I knew what she meant and it was fine, nothing untoward about the comment ... BUT ... my brain started screaming in my ears. I started to break down and fall apart. It took over an hour to get turned back around, which I did. While Lori was all worried and consoling and honest about never saying it again, I don't think she quite grasped the intensity of the !!!!!NO!!!!! reverberating in my head.

I know that here, people understand.

No worries. As I said, I am recovered and back to bouncing. Lets get on with the day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<- Ya, no, that's not me ...  <-- nope, not it either  ... <<-- yep, happy

[Faith]

I keep remembering things that I want to share. So much positive happened this weekend.

Referring back to my brother, posted above, we plan on going out to hear my older brothers band on Friday, Lori has to work. I asked him if he was going to dance with me. His answer was simply, I'm not a very good dancer (I've seen him dance, it's true). I replied, I'm not very good dancing as a woman either. Well, he didn't say no. I guess we'll see what happens.

Lori recounted something to me. While she was talking to the friend (girl) and I walked off to stand and listen to the music better, she (the friend) said, "He walks better than we do". Lori's reply was, "Yes, she does"

two things come out of that for me. First, apparently, I glide and sway when I walk .. secondly, Lori is not afraid to correct people on pronoun use. She told me that she is the only one allowed to mess up. (hmm, I wonder, what about me when I mess up on myself?)

[Faith]

In keeping with my promise to myself to post a selfie at the beginning of each week. Here is one taken outside during my walk around the parking lot. The sun was in my eyes and they ended up shadowed. Oh Well, here it is:




I am still struggling with pictures and mirrors for the most part. However, it is getting easier. I am seeing more and more her coming out. Even in this lousy picture, I can see significantly less him ... YAY!

Faith

[Donica]

I told ya so!!! Love picture Faith. Sun shadows or not.

Donica.

[Katie Ellen]

Hi Faith - WOW!

I haven't been around the site much in the last few months due to some serious family health issues. Last time I checked, your thread was locked. Before that, I remember you had a lot of issues about posting pictures. Now I'm seeing all kinds of pictures and experiences in the real world.

You have come a LONG way!

I'm still stuck on some confidence issues myself. Seeing you do so well is encouraging to me.

I hope you continue do so well!

[Faith]

I told ya so!!! .... Donica.

  thbphbphbpb 

Hi Faith - WOW!

I haven't been around the site much in the last few months due to some serious family health issues. Last time I checked, your thread was locked. Before that, I remember you had a lot of issues about posting pictures. Now I'm seeing all kinds of pictures and experiences in the real world.

You have come a LONG way!

I'm still stuck on some confidence issues myself. Seeing you do so well is encouraging to me.

I hope you continue do so well!

Hi Katie! Yes, I agree, I've come a long way in the past few weeks. I hope it continues. The thread locked was during a severe down and out time. I've since connected the dots on why and that makes it easier to avoid the trap. Thank you for the WOW ... was the wow for the picture or my uplifting and positive postings?  HAH!

My confidence and self-esteem is still at a fragile point, getting stronger though.

I'm sorry to say that I was so involved in my own self-inflicted disasters that I hadn't noticed your absence so sorry for that. I hope that the situation that kept you away has resolved itself for the better and you come around more.

Faith

[KathyLauren]

Faith, I love the pic, and I love your growing self-confidence.  Katie is right, you have come a long way!

[Faith]

Faith, I love the pic, and I love your growing self-confidence.  Katie is right, you have come a long way!

Thank you Kathy. I can't stare at that picture, but I can look at it. For an unpolished outdoor picture to be OK to me is huge.

I am a bit amazed at what's happened the past few weeks. I owe a lot of the nudging (outright pushing) to those here on the forum that wouldn't let me bury my head.Without all of you here with your gentle prodding (with a cattle prod) I wouldn't be this far and this happy.

HAH, I feel like I'm standing up and giving thanks for some award

Faith

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you Kathy. I can't stare at that picture, but I can look at it. For an unpolished outdoor picture to be OK to me is huge.

I am a bit amazed at what's happened the past few weeks. I owe a lot of the nudging (outright pushing) to those here on the forum that wouldn't let me bury my head.Without all of you here with your gentle prodding (with a cattle prod) I wouldn't be this far and this happy.

HAH, I feel like I'm standing up and giving thanks for some award

Faith

@Faith
Dear Faith: As being discussed, this is a big positive change in your transition outlook from several weeks ago, back then you did not want any of your pictures to stay up on you postings....  now look at you....  we are all so very happy for you.... and all of your pictures including your "unpolished outdoor picture" are wonderful for all of us to see.

Oh, in all of our flurry of PMs and posting exchanges several weeks ago I am not so sure that I was being very gentle with my proddings ....  I was being persistent and tenacious with you trying to convince you to go forward with confidence as I am sure that your other followers an supporters were being with you.....   and to your benefit, it worked, here you are in all of your glory and now posting encouraging things about your transition experiences... and you have your Lori  @DiLoris at your side helping you along with her acceptance and suggestions.   What can be better than that?

Please continue keeping your very interested followers tuned in to your latest happenings.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle