I'm told repeatedly that I have avid followers, I'm sorry that you don't have anything better to do with your time. So, Here's an update to waste a few minutes with.
WAAAAAY back on Dec 22nd (posted about it on the 23rd
HERE ) I finally expressed myself openly and vocally. Since then I have not. For one reason or another I'd hold back, not say it, not think it. No admission, leave an escape route.
Yesterday I had a meltdown, as evidenced by my post, today marked a new day. Something changed, something let loose. I was happy, giggly, bouncy even (as I stated a couple posts back). Tonight Lori and I had planned to be somewhere, she came home arms ladened with supplies to make a dessert to take to work. No problem, we'll go after she's done. It got later and later, I got tired and sleepy. She finally came and asked if we were going. Now? It's too late now. I need to get a shower. She's like, ok I'll find something else to do .. you go take your shower.
I went in the bedroom and just sat on the edge of the bed, rocking back and forth trying not to cry. I'm thinking, I disappointed her by not wanting to go this late (8pm is bedtime people!). She came in and, well, laughed a bit, held me, told me it's Ok, go get a shower .. you get the idea. So, I did. After the shower is when it hit.
I'm on the couch, she's reading some "Susan's" posts that I left open for her. It led to some discussions, nothing new. I made her come over on the couch so I could hear (deaf in one ear) and not get a krink in my neck. More discussions, some of this, some of that. We settled into a semi upright sitting position sharing a pillow, heads touching and just talked. Magic talk.
I relaxed, she relaxed, most importantly my brain relaxed. The course of the conversation led me back to what I had concluded back on Dec 22nd of 2017 ... something I have not said or thought to myself since that time for one reason of denial or another .. No guessing here, you know what it is, let me introduce myself again ...
hello, my name is Faith Nicole and I am a woman .. fully and unconditionally.
(now I just need my body to catch up ......)
good night folks, thanks for tuning in
Faith