Yes, I am all the cliches when it comes to self image. I know this, it doesn't help. My brain still screams at me .. GUY GUY GUY GUY GUY GUY ... I can see so much of my Mom and yet I still see him and that over-shadows everything.
Michelle, we've spoken, or at least you've posted, about internal brain mappings before. It's one of the reasons I take daily selfies and look at them .. sometimes for a few seconds!! I try to look into the mirror, that broad look without focusing. It's OK, again, for a few seconds. Any longer and I will break down and cry. That and the more of my body that I can see, the worse it is.
I 'pass', I suppose, for the most part. I get ma'am'd even when alone. I can even speak most times without ruining it. Politeness? I have not tested this w/o makeup. no no no no no. I dress up even at home right now to keep the demons at bay.
I spoke to the insurance lady here at work today, I don't think she realized that I was transgender until I spoke (I did not try to hide my voice). That and the specific questions I had regarding 'medically necessary' and mammograms.
Linde, the jean top, you'd have to see the rest of it. It is most definitely a woman's top
I had a sit down lunch with a gal friend here at work (the one from my accidental inspiration thread). She's having a very tough time right now. I got her to relax a bit, even a smile. She's says I make her feel so much better just by being around. I'll have to give her hourly hugs for a while, I think. We spoke about her, (private) we spoke about me (you all know most of that). She point blank said that she sees only a woman when she looks at me. How I carry myself, how I look, how I dress, my facial expressions, yes ... even my voice. She doesn't have to do any of that mental transposition of he/she. To her, I am Faith/she/her .. girl friend. Oh, and she loves my sense of style and how it suits me.
If I could accept fully what I am told by people that I associate with, I'd be one happy woman with no need for a therapist. Ahh, but there is sooo much wrong with me ...
I feel better after meeting her for lunch. Sure, I make her feel better yet she also does the same for me. Isn't that what friends are for?