Came out to family

[Arianna Valentine]

So i came out as transgender to my sister in law this past friday and my brother today.  I was so worried because i am from a military family that i would be disowned and shunned and removed from the family and everything.  But, as it turns out my older brother and his wife accepted me and told me "You only have one life so make sure your happy in it."
I can honestly say this is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life and raised my anxiety up so bad i would get sick going over to their house.  Now i feel so light so free literally like i just removed the world from my shoulders.  My sister in law has even offered to help me clothes shopping (im not the best at it) even bra shopping.  So i think i can honestly say that this is the best i have felt in my whole life.

[steph2.0]

So i came out as transgender to my sister in law this past friday and my brother today.  I was so worried because i am from a military family that i would be disowned and shunned and removed from the family and everything.  But, as it turns out my older brother and his wife accepted me and told me "You only have one life so make sure your happy in it."
I can honestly say this is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life and raised my anxiety up so bad i would get sick going over to their house.  Now i feel so light so free literally like i just removed the world from my shoulders.  My sister in law has even offered to help me clothes shopping (im not the best at it) even bra shopping.  So i think i can honestly say that this is the best i have felt in my whole life.

Warm congratulations, Arianna! I clearly remember the fear, and then the joy, of coming out to my family. I'm so happy that yours turned out as well as mine.

Stephanie

[Brenda3156]

Congrats on getting through a huge hurdle in your transition. It showed that your family really loves and supports you, no matter what! I came out to my 3 grown sons about 3 weeks ago and it went a lot better than I expected. They were all supportive. I had read the horror stories and was really afraid to do it. I felt that if something happened to me, my own sons would never know who I really was. It was tearing me up inside and I was having panic attacks over it two or three times a week. A trans friend in my support group connected the two as I hadn't. Once I told them it all went away. I dress "trans lite" around them in mostly androgynous clothes, just to give them a chance to process it. It is like dropping a bomb on someone when you tell them and I am doing everything I can to lessen the blow. Glad it worked out for you. I know of the joy you have and it really is like floating on cloud nine.

[The Flying Lemur]

Congratulations, Arianna!  I was lucky in that my family was supportive too.  It feels incredible to realize people actually care about you as you really are, and not just about some idea of you they've been carrying around inside their heads. 

[Arianna Valentine]

Congrats on getting through a huge hurdle in your transition.

it honestly didnt shock them as much as i thought it would as they both knew i was bi but thought i was gay instead lol.  So it was kind of perfect the only person left for me to tell is my father and my older sister but i dont really care her thoughts but hes close to death and i want to tell him but dont want to be the nail so to speak.

[Laurie]

  Arianna, Let me add my congratulations to the growing list. It is wonderful when you are accepted and I think by and large more unveilings are of the accepting variety. Though you should be prepared that some may not be. I wish you joy in your life and acceptance from all you love.
  I was one of those horror stories rejected by the one I most wanted acceptance from. I have to learn to deal with that still. It isn't all bad though the sister I live with accepts me, but my other 2 living sisters do not. Those are sad but I can deal with them. I have some wonderful friends that have accepted me and everyone here for support.
  May all you coming outs be good.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Arianna Valentine]

  Arianna, Let me add my congratulations to the growing list. It is wonderful when you are accepted and I think by and large more unveilings are of the accepting variety. Though you should be prepared that some may not be. I wish you joy in your life and acceptance from all you love.
  I was one of those horror stories rejected by the one I most wanted acceptance from. I have to learn to deal with that still. It isn't all bad though the sister I live with accepts me, but my other 2 living sisters do not. Those are sad but I can deal with them. I have some wonderful friends that have accepted me and everyone here for support.
  May all you coming outs be good.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thank you very much...

Honestly though i dont care if i have approval or not.  At this point i look at it this way either they accept me or they do not.  it is not my concern either way but i must admit them accepting me has made it a bit easier for me so of that i am glad.

[bobbisue]

  I recently came out to my children this was spaced out over about a year and a half I first I was just coming to terms with my own identity when I found out my oldest daughter's first born was transgender FTM this made it quite easy as well as the right thing to do I came out to my second daughter several months later I didnt come out to my youngest 4 children who are from a different marriage until recently the oldest one from that marriage was the one I was worried the most about telling just looked at me and said this is you were worried about telling us both he and his wife are fine with it but are not telling their children ages 7 & 9  about me yet  I never did tell my parents as my mother died many years  before I discovered myself and after bringing up the subject of a trans lady we know my Dad thought it was terribly weird though he has always been nice to her and I had just found out about his terminal cancer and that he had been given 6 months to live almost a year previous information his other daughter had withheld from both of us I felt coming out to him was not right I guess what I am saying is each coming out or not is a very personal and individual thing and must be your choice I wish you all the best and understand your feelings

[Arianna Valentine]

So its been a few weeks since i came out to my sister in law and brother and now when i go over there its like i don't wanna say weird but kinda is and not in a bad way they no longer look at me as male and its like nothing has changed except i'm referred to as a female.  Also last night while in the bath shaving all the proper areas my older brother called me and said Arianna i need a favor it felt so amazing that even he recognized me it was truly the best feeling ever and i kind really needed it last night i was having a very bad day.

[Bari Jo]

Arianna  that is great.  I just did the same thing with my sister too, and it was equally satisfying.  Being called yiur true name or seeing it written by someone you care about is the best feeling I've had since coming out.  Are you planning on coming out further?  I'm from a military family too and am scared of what will happen beyond my sibling.

Bari Jo

[Arianna Valentine]

Arianna  that is great.  I just did the same thing with my sister too, and it was equally satisfying.  Being called yiur true name or seeing it written by someone you care about is the best feeling I've had since coming out.  Are you planning on coming out further?  I'm from a military family too and am scared of what will happen beyond my sibling.

Bari Jo

Not to my father.  He's already on the edge of death with stage 4 COPD but the rest of my family that don't have big mouths and that i know wont tell him yes i will tell them i just have to be careful who i trust.  But my sister in law and I went out clothes shopping yesterday she helped me pick out some shirts and makeup and she told me not to buy pants shed give me some of hers and it turns out they fit me perfectly also bought some shoes lol.  Today however i went out wearing my jeans my sis gave me and my boots i bought yesterday and a thin leather jacket and i felt so amazing like i was truly free today and i plan on staying this way when possible.

[Arianna Valentine]

I have also recently come to the decision that even though i havent started transitioning either monday or the first of the month im having my name legally changed to Arianna Marie Valentine.

[HappyMoni]

So its been a few weeks since i came out to my sister in law and brother and now when i go over there its like i don't wanna say weird but kinda is and not in a bad way they no longer look at me as male and its like nothing has changed except i'm referred to as a female.  Also last night while in the bath shaving all the proper areas my older brother called me and said Arianna i need a favor it felt so amazing that even he recognized me it was truly the best feeling ever and i kind really needed it last night i was having a very bad day.

Arianna,
   I am very happy for your good news. I remember the shear terror of telling people closest to me. I think at that point, you just want to get it done and there isn't much thought about how it proceeds from there. I remember having a lot of debate with myself as to how soon I should show being the new me the next time I saw someone. Thoughts like "They are treating me like nothing happened. Did they really hear me?" "Is this too much, or too little of an expression?" It is certainly a period of adjustment. People would be weirded out if I presented male at this point (me too.) After a year and a half of full time, I still wrestle a little with, is this mannerism or thing I do with my voice gonna be viewed strangely by people I knew before transition. Guess what I am saying is welcome to the world, hope you find your place and that it is comfortable for you.
Moni