Need advice on my finger nails and thanksgiving.

[Nora Kayte]

I went to the salon and was going to get my regular Gel French manicure and pedicure. But I always wanted to try the SNS powder. So I got a SNS manicure and a close gel color to match on my toes. Pretty much very light pink and
My fingers and maybe a little darker and a slight different shade on my toes.

First thing my wife says to me is your going to thanksgiving with a pinkish color on your nails?

So wtf. I actually totally forgot about thanksgiving coming up. I already am no longer in contact with 99.9% of my family. They are either dead or unreachable or I don't want to talk to them. And funny thing is the ones I don't want to talk to already suck that bad before knowing I'm trans. Im only in contact with my nephew. And probably won't see him. And not out to him. And I am definitely not out to her family which is pretty much my family now. They all seem to like me enough.

So am I stupid to think they have never noticed my French manicure and will only notice my new pinkish one? Or what?  I'll try to include photos to compare.




And my toes but I will wear shoes. My women's sketchers.
My nails are the one of the most important things to me. The make me happy.


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[Nora Kayte]

Oh and I probably would have no problem with it what so ever, if she would just compliment me and be supportive about it instead of making me feel self conscious about it.


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[sarah1972]

I did get away with painted nails for a good while. Mostly light pink or clear.
Only one person said something... I brushed it off as "nail repair" but my wife pushed me a bit so I went through my first coming out.

I am sure more people noticed but either are too polite to say anything ...

With family I don't know. I see them every two years, so they missed that phase. Now they know anyways, so it would be fine

[Toni]

Oh hell, just don't worry about it.  Now is really the best time to stop worrying about pleasing people you really don't care about, or that don't care about you.  I think your hands look very nice, very pretty.  If anyone asks just say you did it because you wanted to and you like it and no one will argue with you.  I just crossed that line and put color on my nails (cleared for the past several months).  So cool because for the first time they didn't look like my old hands, they were a womans hands!  I even went to the bank and the post office with my guy stuff on (because of the work I was doing) and got some of the most curious smiles from the ladies.  One guy friend noticed and even told me that when he was in 'Nam he painted flowers on his toes.  We both cracked up.  Have fun, they'll get over it.  Toni

[Natsuki Kuga]

Srsly, its no big deal in the least. Up until the other day I was wearing a jumble of different colors in the shades of autumn leaves. Folks loved it.

Stands out a trifle, ne?

I personally have noticed that if one wears her colors with nonchalance and comfort, people like them a lot better.

And when it comes down to it, your nails are important to you. Let's not look to others to tell us what we feel good in.

[Lady Lisandra]

They've noticed. Perhaps they thought you just took good care of you nails, but they've noticed. Don't worry much. I spent almost a year presenting as male with my nails painted in black, red or violet. I got only positive comments about it, but most people didn't say a word.

[Nora Kayte]

It's gotten worse. So bad I will be taking them off and probably leaving them off. Toes too even though I can wear shoes to cover those. How can a French manicure be ok and this not, I will never know. Woke up feeling great and she made me feel like I got kicked by a horse. Even a little suicidal again. Something that has not been around for a while. I don't know how I am going to get myself to do what I need to do to leave. But I can't do this anymore. I think she is coming around and this happens. She is embarrassed of me. If thanks giving was not this week I might have a chance. I will have so suffer for a while while I try to find work. Get my car that's in her name paid off. Sell all my stuff. And plan my leaving. It's will be mean to her to do what I am going to have to do. But it's necessary. I have to save for surgeries and have money for my HRT. If I just up and left now I would have nothing. But ya I'm on my way out. But won't be for s couple years. Maybe we could live as friends but I doubt it. Maybe if it was up to her. But it's up to her embarrassment. She won't do it if she feels embarrassed. Funny nobody cares more than her. I have never had a bad or mean comment from anybody. Not ever. Just her. Kind of funny. Did not know I was even close to the truth this morning when I told her she would miss even the things that bugged her if something ever happened to me. Dying inside right now.


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[Kendra]

Nora I'm sorry to hear this has happened.  Best you can do is look to the future and run Thanksgiving 2018 exactly the way you want.  Holidays are supposed to be a time to relax and celebrate.  Promise yourself the next set of holidays will be exactly that.  You have no reason - zero - to let anyone block you from enjoying life. 

> My nails are the one of the most important things to me. The make me happy.

There's your answer.

Kendra

[Natsuki Kuga]

Srsly, its no big deal in the least. Up until the other day I was wearing a jumble of different colors in the shades of autumn leaves. Folks loved it.

Stands out a trifle, ne?

I personally have noticed that if one wears her colors with nonchalance and comfort, people like them a lot better.

And when it comes down to it, your nails are important to you. Let's not look to others to tell us what we feel good in.

Cripes, I have man-hands

[RavenMoon]

I spent almost a year presenting as male with my nails painted in black, red or violet. I got only positive comments about it, but most people didn't say a word.

That's been me the past 7 years. Today they are purple. Matched my hair. Lol. Last week they were black. My toes are red.

No one ever comments.


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[Bari Jo]

Nora, I like Kendra's advice.  Let's work toward a happier next thanksgiving,!

Bari Jo

[Nora Kayte]

Ya well since I am not ready to move out and be homeless. I am at the salon getting it all removed. Love the sns polish. The application looks so perfect. lol. Started this at the salon. Now I'm home. But it sucks when your situation keeps you from being yourself. I don't know if it threatens her in some way. But to me it's just nail polish. It's something that makes me happy. Some people it don't matter to. But some it does. And from my experience society does not give a crap. What's on your nails. Maybe it gives some mean person somewhere an in to be a bully, but that has not happened to me. I am sure the most you would ever get is a mean comment. And what I would always say is that it changes me not. I am the same person. And this is what I like so how could it ever be a bad thing. Something that makes you smile should not be a bad thing. It just should not.


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[Ellement_of_Freedom]

I do think the french tips are less noticeable than the pink polish. Maybe stick with french tips until you're ready to come out to everyone?

[Roll]

In general, most people won't notice your fingernails at all without the color I think.

Cripes, I have man-hands

Didn't look masculine to me at all. I've seen plenty of women with similar hands.