It's been a while since I have been here, but I still think about this place, and I am back.
Anyway, as an update, I am still dressing female...I like all the compliments I am getting...but something still pushes for me to totally change once more. It's like I can't escape the male feeling..I still space out and think I am male, and I still wish I had a penis instead of a vagina. After "trying it out" I can escape it less than before I ever dressed male...and it seems on every cloudy or rainy day, as odd as it seems, the feelings get worse.
It's unfortunate, my therapist at school is very involved with the "bad" kids, and because of his experience with shootings, suggested that if I continued to dress male (since I look Mexican/Native American when I do) if I walked by any of these "territories" I would be shot, and should thus stop being male.
This really does not seem to be helping me at all. Shouldn't he be accepting of whatever I need to do? He claims that I was going through a phase now. Tells everyone I go through phases..."Why listen to her".
I'm actually probably not as depressed as I sound. I'm just confused, and fed up with people not listening and letting me see what's me.
-Merrick
