Came out to sister and it didn’t go great :/

[Courtney.lane408]

She said that she supports me but she thinks this is a mistake and that I won't ever be able to pass as a women to strangers like I would want and that I would be visibly trans.

I was thinking before that even though I don't look great now that maybe hrt would be enough be she has me doubting hard. What do you guys think about my face. Am I gonna need ffs like she thinks to pass and maybe go somewhat stealth one day?



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Sarah77]

She is no doubt just in shock. It is what will make you happy and if you are worried..i think you will kook great. Who kbows what impact hormones will fully have,

You will be beautiful in any case

[Denise]

I think she's nuts.  I actually have a cis female friend who you could be her twin.  No lie.

I went through the same doubts and this morning I had a legal thingy that required me to supply "all previous names".  The agent looked and looked for a difference.  She didn't notice the first name then said "this must be a mistake..." I smiled and said "no mistake".  She was surprised.

I don't think I pass well (although that's changing) but others are clueless.  Even after chatting with the agent for 5-10 minutes.  Gender is in the eyes of the beholder.

It doesn't happen over night and it's sporadic to start then comes consistency.

Bottom line, in my opinion your face is fine.    The work is presentation and how you carry yourself.  Move correctly (but don't over do it), dress appropriately (age and situation) and that's 90% of passing.


Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

[Sarah_P]

I think Sarah77 is right, she's probably just a little shocked right now.

If I saw you on the street, I would never think you were trans. HRT will only improve on that!
I've been told by most everyone that I pass very well, which I'm not sure I fully believe right now (why is it so hard for us to believe that about our ourselves?). Yet, I've never had any incidents except an odd look or two, and that could very easily just be my imagination.

[Courtney.lane408]

I hope so I was feeling confident about how I would do on hormones before but she definitely shook my confidence since she is the first person I've come out to who I'm close enough that they would give me their honest opinion and not just a ->-bleeped-<- answer and that's what she had to say / thought


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bari Jo]

Hah, your sister will apologize to you later on.  I think you will be gorgeous.  You have such a great starting place now.  Most of us that are passable didn't start with a base like you have.  Enjoy the ride!

Bari Jo

[Julia1996]

I think you look passable now. I'm sorry you're sister said that to you. But like others have said she is probably just scared and wanted to discourage you. Sometimes people say things to you that aren't true trying to derail your transition. My mother did that to me a LOT. She told me I would never pass as a female, (I already was) that no normal man would ever want me, etc. Just stuff like that. At first she would totally shred my self confidence. But after a while I realized she was the only one telling me I was not passable and that I made an ugly girl. If your sister keeps telling you you need ffs and stuff like that I think you are going to find that she's the only one saying that.

I think you look great right now. Hrt will only enhance that. You don't need ffs.

[Charlie Nicki]

You look a 100% female already, in my opinion. Hormones will make you even more gorgeous. I've seen your pictures before and you always look beautiful, feminine and passable. Don't let your sister discourage you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jessica Lynne]

She's jelly, blind or out of her freaking mind.

[Courtney.lane408]

Thanks everybody. Helping me build back up my confidence even if ya are just being nice. Sucks to have someone you love and yeah just kinda always wished I was shut me down like that. And ugh I wish she was jealous of me but yeah right lol she is like a huge source of my dysphoria I'm so jealous of her haha.

Also besides being really jealous of her we are also really close and were best friends growing up which makes it harder because I don't hate her. She is actually the golden child and if anything she has her ->-bleeped-<- way together more than I do ( college athlete, getting married, tons of friends) and it hurts that she thinks this is a bad idea. Annoying picture of her if your curious. She just got engaged and she is younger than me bleh haha.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Dave143]

Meeting you in the street, i can't say i wouldn't think there's something going on but i probably wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you're not a woman.

[elkie-t]

People who know your past see the signs of 'old' you and thus predisposed. You look real nice now, and will do better with HRT and FFS.

You might be unable to pass to your sister forever though, but not to a stranger


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Courtney.lane408]

People who know your past see the signs of 'old' you and thus predisposed. You look real nice now, and will do better with HRT and FFS.

You might be unable to pass to your sister forever though, but not to a stranger


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah I hope so!! I mean look how am I supposed to do much better than this with no experience and after going through guy puberty. I just sent her this picture and she said "I guess your kinda cute" but still no


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Julia1996]

You're as pretty as your sister. After hrt you will surpass her. Jealousy is common between siblings. I was jealous of my older brother for a long time. I was jealous of the fact he had the same 50% chance of being albino that I had but he was born with normal skin, eyes and hair. Being jealous takes a lot of mental energy. I finally realized Tyler couldn't help being born normal. And your sister couldn't help being born a cis female. It's easier said than done I know, but it does make you feel better to let go of jealousy over what can't be changed. I think your sister will change her attitude once she fully accepts that you are going to transition regardless of what anyone says.

[Julia1996]

Yeah I hope so!! I mean look how am I supposed to do much better than this with no experience and after going through guy puberty. I just sent her this picture and she said "I guess your kinda cute" but still no


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Well another thing you should remember is that your sister has only ever known you as her brother. So even though you are passable to others, it's hard for her to see anything but the person she's always known. That's why you shouldn't take her critisism seriously.

[Jessica Lynne]

Sh's not your reality and her opinion should actually have no bearing on your transitioning. This isn't something you're giving a try, this is your soul. This is who you are. If you're lucky enough to look good and pass, awesome. But there's a ton of cross dressers out there that look just gorgeous. They also have no intention of changing genders. It's a past time, a proclivity, a hobby. For the tran woman, this is something we reconcile to make our world right. This is our truth. You are young and after HRT will be quite beautiful and feminine. Whether she digs it or not,  is behind you or whatever, has no bearing on any of it. Even if none of those things I just mentioned were true or not. If she loves you, she'll come around. If you're trans, everything will be okay.

[Roll]

I agree, she is letting her past experience cloud her view of you. You are gorgeous.

Also, while I obviously don't know your sister obviously, I wonder about your use of the term "golden child". Typically I associate that with the child who is not just a success, but is often seen as being able to do no wrong often regardless of success. That sort of upbringing has a tendency to create a mentality in which the child lives in a perfect little world, and any affront to that world, anything at all out of place, hits them very hard. Essentially, in her mind, if her brother is really her sister, who knows what else she has taken for granted? (Fortunately for me, my family is flawed to hell and back. )

[Courtney.lane408]

Thanks everybody your so nice!! You guys are probably right that she is trying to say whatever she can to make me doubt myself since we were both raised to think gay people go to hell in my Christian family. I had to work through all that ->-bleeped-<- myself before I ditched religion a couple years ago and I is the reason I suppressed everything untill I was in my mid 20s


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Courtney.lane408]

You're as pretty as your sister. After hrt you will surpass her. Jealousy is common between siblings. I was jealous of my older brother for a long time. I was jealous of the fact he had the same 50% chance of being albino that I had but he was born with normal skin, eyes and hair. Being jealous takes a lot of mental energy. I finally realized Tyler couldn't help being born normal. And your sister couldn't help being born a cis female. It's easier said than done I know, but it does make you feel better to let go of jealousy over what can't be changed. I think your sister will change her attitude once she fully accepts that you are going to transition regardless of what anyone says.

I know this isn't true but your still so nice and make me feel amazing. Thanks girl


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[elkie-t]

Well, your second pic shows hands. To an observant person, it's a tell sign... I guess, I'd stick with 'you're rather cute' comment and drop the hopes you could erase her memories of you being her brother.

Again, most people wouldn't see those signs, most of those signs will become less obvious with HRT (and FFS), and most men won't care if you were born a guy if you have a vagina, as well as most women won't if you aren't after them in their eyes.

You cannot win this argument with your sister, but you can live your life any way you like, and she will support you


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk