Obsession with our trans issues and idolatry

[amandam]

Many of us can get obsessed. Some are obsessed with the clothes, some with female bodies. We look at and long to be women. I'm even guilty of doing it in church. Looking at all the pretty girls and what they are wearing and wanting to be them. I know my focus should be on Godly things, not those girls, especially in church. And then these thoughts never leave us unless we get real busy. This can't be healthy mentally.

So, is this obsession idolizing women? Is it worshiping women? Maybe, it's like having an open wound. You keep thinking about your injury. It's never more than two seconds away from your mind. Maybe with transition you stop obsessing with women and become "normal". What are your thoughts?

[Deborah]

With HRT all of that went away very quickly.  I'm not sure if it is the lowering of testosterone or the raising of estrogen but the feeling of normality came within a matter of weeks.  I remember posting exactly that thought here back in 2015.

Actually, given the speed of the effect it was probably the raising of estrogen since testosterone did not drop off really low until later than that.  That still leaves unanswered why changing the hormone balance has such a dramatic effect of thoughts and emotions.


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[Jailyn]

Deborah, is right with myself as well with the HRT that went away quickly. Now occasionally I do get this twinge of jealousy at a girls looks because she looks so beautiful. The other obsession about looking like them left me for sure.

[Roll]

Even without HRT, I had this go away. The big reason I didn't deal with my issues for years was because I idolized women, placing the idea of being a woman on a pedestal as something unattainable for lowly me. It took being around my sister on a daily basis to humanize women to enable me to reach this point. Sure there is some common envy still at play ("I wish I had narrow shoulders like her"), but I don't think that it rises to idolatry.

[HappyMoni]

Many of us can get obsessed. Some are obsessed with the clothes, some with female bodies. We look at and long to be women. I'm even guilty of doing it in church. Looking at all the pretty girls and what they are wearing and wanting to be them. I know my focus should be on Godly things, not those girls, especially in church. And then these thoughts never leave us unless we get real busy. This can't be healthy mentally.

So, is this obsession idolizing women? Is it worshiping women? Maybe, it's like having an open wound. You keep thinking about your injury. It's never more than two seconds away from your mind. Maybe with transition you stop obsessing with women and become "normal". What are your thoughts?

I don't think the answer is to be guilty for having these feelings. Nobody wants dysphoria. People don't want to be obsessed by this, but it is something that is so important to us and it drives us crazy when goals are out of reach. My cure to these feeling has been progress. HRT helped, GCS helped a whole lot, but I keep plugging away to get mind and body lined up. Well, that is me. I think there is a problem with the obsessed part when you treat someone else badly. If you are in a relationship for example and you neglect the feelings of a partner, that's a problem. Being trans is no excuse for acting like a bad person.
Moni

[Allison S]

It is bizzare. I don't think agonizing our gender and markers to achieve our desired outcome is normal or healthy. I've wished I'd been born a girl all my life. It's very consuming [emoji17]

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