Looking for transition advice re: professional career

[Phoenix1742]

A brief introduction...

I'm 41, married with a son, and kinda midway through "coming out" as trans. For the most part my friends and family know about my female side, but she is still a minor part of my day to day life. I'm slowly moving towards making her a larger part of my everyday, and I'm coming on some big questions.

Fortunately for me my family is fairly supportive, and I've been seeing a therapist who has been a great help. But I'm also facing a big unknown - and that's my career.

I currently work as an electrical engineer, and a big part of my value comes in my professional license and certifications, my years of experience, and my professional reputation. I know licenses can have the name changed, but history and reputation are tied to a name, and changing that won't be as easy.

The other big problem is that engineers aren't necessarily the most liberal bunch, and since being trans isn't protected by law, transitioning could cost me my job and have a huge impact on my career. I'm afraid that it'd be an unavoidable issue - any future job interview would have a "well, I used to be someone else" attached to my work history.

So I was hoping for some advice from people that have gone through this or a similar situation.

Thanks for everything.

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[KathyLauren]

Hi, Phoenix1742!

Welcome to Susan's.  Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.

Sorry I can't be much help with your career, since I transitioned after retirement.  But I did want to welcome you properly and give you some information that we like to share with new members:

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[Gertrude]

I don't know where you live and where you work, but some local municipalities have protections where the state may not. I'm not sure if there's an answer that is satisfactory. You may be able to change name, gender and BC, but past jobs knew you as male and have no obligation to change that. As far as where you work now, you should look at the hr policies for the company. They may not protect trans explicitly, but what are their policies on harassment? If their policies and culture is unsatisfactory, you could seek employment at a company that has favorable policies to trans folks. The HRC has a database of companies and their equality index. You may want to look at that. HRC also has information on federal, state and local laws. If I had more information, I could give a little more advice. Good luck with your transition.


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[Phoenix1742]

I live and work in Maryland, specifically in Baltimore. I know that Maryland had some anti-discrimination laws on the books, but as an "at will employment" state, discrimination can be hard to prove.

My bigger concern is more about the "good old boys" attitude of construction and engineering - there's value placed on being a "man's man". I've actually had someone tell me "I can tell you're a good man by the way you shake hands" - little does he know! :-D

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[Gertrude]

I live and work in Maryland, specifically in Baltimore. I know that Maryland had some anti-discrimination laws on the books, but as an "at will employment" state, discrimination can be hard to prove.

My bigger concern is more about the "good old boys" attitude of construction and engineering - there's value placed on being a "man's man". I've actually had someone tell me "I can tell you're a good man by the way you shake hands" - little does he know! :-D

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Are there any women in your profession? Ultimately, people will know you by your work. If that's good, I think you'll be ok. Nothing is guaranteed, but be glad you don't live in a state that's backwards. It could be worse. Look at the HRC CEI database. Maybe you can get a job at a more liberal company.


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[extraaction]

from my experience, I'd say you're not going to avoid discrimination.  It's really hard to find a job and really hard to keep a job without "connections"

[Gertrude]

from my experience, I'd say you're not going to avoid discrimination.  It's really hard to find a job and really hard to keep a job without "connections"

While it's true that not everyone will be cool with trans people, I have to think there are organizations that don't tolerate discrimination against minorities. Maybe not a big number, but they exist. Part of it will be socio-geographic, a lot of it is industry. If it's a government job in a state with protections, you're probably safe. Some big companies like Wells Fargo, intel, IBM, Apple etc, are good. The key is to do due diligence. Research companies, find the the good ones if your company sucks. FWIW, I work for the state and didn't know anyone to get my job or keep it, but if I lost it, I'd keep on going.


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[Phoenix1742]

Are there any women in your profession? Ultimately, people will know you by your work. If that's good, I think you'll be ok. Nothing is guaranteed, but be glad you don't live in a state that's backwards. It could be worse. Look at the HRC CEI database. Maybe you can get a job at a more liberal company.


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There are women engineers, but they are few and far between - maybe 5-10% tops.

It's actually an interesting twist - a lot of contacts have a diversity requirement, and a women owned business counts as diverse. So if I were to start my own firm, transitioning would actually be an advantage. But that's something entirely different - I'm not ready to go out on my own.

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[Phoenix1742]

While it's true that not everyone will be cool with trans people, I have to think there are organizations that don't tolerate discrimination against minorities. Maybe not a big number, but they exist. Part of it will be socio-geographic, a lot of it is industry. If it's a government job in a state with protections, you're probably safe. Some big companies like Wells Fargo, intel, IBM, Apple etc, are good. The key is to do due diligence. Research companies, find the the good ones if your company sucks. FWIW, I work for the state and didn't know anyone to get my job or keep it, but if I lost it, I'd keep on going.


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I've thought of that - that if I found a job for the state, or a big company like a Johns Hopkins or similar, that I'd have a lot more protections available to me than I will in a small 15 person firm. It's definitely been something I've kept in mind.

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[Gertrude]

There are women engineers, but they are few and far between - maybe 5-10% tops.

It's actually an interesting twist - a lot of contacts have a diversity requirement, and a women owned business counts as diverse. So if I were to start my own firm, transitioning would actually be an advantage. But that's something entirely different - I'm not ready to go out on my own.

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I think that would be a great plan. Look up Liz Ryan on LinkedIn. She specializes in becoming a consultant and hr stuff. She was hr director at us robotics at one time. I find her insight helpful.


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