34 year old "male" coming to terms I might just be woman on the inside.

[lena_annages]

My real name is Kenneth, Lena is just an alias.  All my life I was told my parents were expecting a girl when I was suppose to be born. I was a bright young boy, yet I always felt there was something missing. I never really got along with other boys or men, my trust with women is not that great either. I lived in NYC for 7 years and trying to be the best guy I can be, I really don't believe I'm a man, I feel like a big fake.

I've always felt there was something wrong with me. When it came to role models, I picked women, when it came to picking a character in a videogame it almost always was a woman. Please bare with me right now as I can't really articulate that well as I have nicotine and alcohol related issues.

I do have a job, but recently teenage angst is coming back with a vengence. I don't like men at all and have no desire to be with them or even be friends with them. I've grown my hair out, shaved my legs a few times on occasion.

Really confused at this point going foward. I know that if I could express myself wearing women's clothes and living as a woman, I'd be much happier.

I also like to add that I don't really get along with other people, and this might be why.

Feminizing completely seems impossible as I am admittedly mostly a coward.

[V M]

Hi Lena 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along


Code: [Select]

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	Cautionary Note	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

[Roll]

Hi Lena! You are in the right place. I showed up here a scant couple of months ago, confused and scared, and the guidance and support I found here has helped me come a long way in understanding myself.

[Charlie Nicki]

Hi Lena. Welcome! You will find a lot of helpful information here. Don't worry, it's ok to be afraid and confused, it's part of exploring our identity.

[Bari Jo]

Hi Lena, parts of your stories parallels my own.  This is a difficult thing to work through.  If possible i would seek a gender therapist or trans support group in your area.  That and Susan's here will help figure things out.

Welcome, and I'd like to see more posts from you.

Bari Jo

[Jailyn]

Hi Lena!!! You are in a great place and confusion is common here!!! The biggest thing you can do to help yourself is find a good doctor or get a referral for one. This is the first step. You have again come to a place that is safe and full of helpful people.

[MeTony]

Hello Lena!

You have found a great place to explore and learn about yourself. People here are nice and supportive.

I suggest you find a gender therapist to talk to, and we are also here. Have you thought about that it can be depression making you avoid people? Depression is common when you feel your body does not match your mind.


Tony