Last leg before surgery

[November Fox]

Hey,

It´s been a while since I´ve been around.
I´ve been trying to keep myself busy, ignoring the wait until surgery. I was to have surgery in December, it got pushed to January. I was doing okay up to this point, but now the wait is really getting to me.

Instead of being happy that I´ll have surgery soon, I feel incredibly frustrated.
It does not feel "real" yet, in fact it feels as if I will be stuck with these things for ever.

Did you feel this way too? Anyone any methods or suggestions as to how to cope?

I´ve been waiting for three years now... 

[Faith]

well, not for surgery. I am totally impatient. Once I realized where I wanted to be time started crawling. I'm only a few months into embracing it but it feels like a lifetime. Maybe because it has been and I just didn't know it?

I can't imagine having a huge step like surgery planned just to have it pushed back and dangled .. I'd die (not literally).
I'm having trouble just waiting for my Drs appointment ............... 3yrs ? I can't think that far.

cope? I cope by beating my head on my desk, figuratively speaking.  Seriously though, my wife helps. We do things together that takes my mind off of everything. Daytime at work is the worst, too much time to think.

[Elis]

Yeah I get the frustration thing. On the day I booked the surgery I was surprised the waiting times were longer than I had expected them to be. Can't offer much advice other than the time does go quicker than you'd expect. I'm sure the last 3 years felt like it had gone by quickly. And just think; this'll be the last xmas you'll have moobs 

Good luck with everything 

[Ryuichi13]

Hey,

It´s been a while since I´ve been around.
I´ve been trying to keep myself busy, ignoring the wait until surgery. I was to have surgery in December, it got pushed to January. I was doing okay up to this point, but now the wait is really getting to me.

Instead of being happy that I´ll have surgery soon, I feel incredibly frustrated.
It does not feel "real" yet, in fact it feels as if I will be stuck with these things for ever.

Did you feel this way too? Anyone any methods or suggestions as to how to cope?

I´ve been waiting for three years now... 

Lucky you, you're nearly there!   Only a couple more months!

I just started my research for top surgery.  I found out there's a new kind of surgery for those of us with larger chests called a "drawstring surgery."  I'm looking into having it done since there seems to be less scarring and I won't have to have the nerves connecting my nipples cut.  But there's not a lot of info out there o  it yet, it seems.

Do you play videogames?  Maybe find one you can immerse yourself into.  I'd suggest a nice, long RP like anything from the Pokemon or newer Final Fantasy series.  Something that makes you think. 

If not videogames, how about trying your hand at writing?  Make up a story and a situation and run with it.  Again, something that takes your mind off your wait.

Basically, anything that takes your mind off the wait is probably good for you.  Good luck and tell us what you end up doing to keep busy!

Ryuichi

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[November Fox]

Thanks Elis, that helps! I guess I just can´t imagine myself without moobs. Which adds to the problem.
I know this is an issue a lot of transmen have before they go into surgery. It´s driving me mad!

I like videogames, recently I got a few new ones, (actually old, like Witcher 1,2 and 3) but they´ll keep me busy if I actually get into them. I´ve been too busy "adulting" and thinking about very serious things lately.

My brain could use more "fun" but it tends to misinterpret "fun" as "waste of time" 

[Ryuichi13]

Thanks Elis, that helps! I guess I just can´t imagine myself without moobs. Which adds to the problem.
I know this is an issue a lot of transmen have before they go into surgery. It´s driving me mad!

I like videogames, recently I got a few new ones, (actually old, like Witcher 1,2 and 3) but they´ll keep me busy if I actually get into them. I´ve been too busy "adulting" and thinking about very serious things lately.

My brain could use more "fun" but it tends to misinterpret "fun" as "waste of time" 

Yeah, I can't imagine not having moobs either.  I don't hate mine, they're just not needed and get in the way of me going topless, among other things.

Playing videogames isn't a "waste of time."  They can relax your mind, help you figure out problems/increase your problemsolving ability and increase your eye-hand coordination.  Its been scientifically proven.  Not to mention get your mind off of your own problems and onto the problems in the game.

What's not to love? [emoji16]

Ryuichi 

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[November Fox]

well, not for surgery. I am totally impatient. Once I realized where I wanted to be time started crawling.

It does get more bearable after a while. When you´ve waited for years, you just get used to waiting, and you accept patience. It´s the only way to go through it in a moderately healthy way.

Me I´m an exception because I hated the first set of gender specialists, and I hated the second set of gender specialist, I´ve only just now found a doctor that I can get along with and does not ask invasive questions.

Hence three years. If it were up to me, I would have had this operation a long, long time ago.

[Kylo]

I'm fairly sure I've been "stalled" this year by the supervising doctor regards surgery, and it is irritating. Last time I was there I had been told in the previous sessions to go ahead and put myself forward for surgery whenever I was ready except when I did I was told I needed more time with the psychiatrist-therapist. Sounds a bit suspicious to me, given that she's perfectly happy with my case and says it's good to go for the next stage. I have an app there again in a weeks' time and I'm going to mention this and attempt to put myself forward again. After that I expect I'll have a year to a year and a half wait to get a surgeon. That would bring the total time up to about 3 years from my first GP app for a GIC referral. Can't say the time feels like it's passed all that quickly.

The only thing that offsets it is I have that amount of time left to reach a target weight and to improve my pecs in advance, and in that sense at least there's something to be achieving in the meantime. That and the fact I always have a massive workload running my business and a degree course going on, I feel assaulted by deadlines so much I tend to have other stuff to think/worry about. Keeping occupied and mentally stimulated (especially if you feel they are advancing you in some way in life) are good distractions from the seemingly interminable waits.

[November Fox]

I can´t say time has passed quickly either.

But I just try to ignore the time elapsed between first referral to the GIC and my actual date of surgery. If I linger on that everyday, I´ll pretty much guarantee depression. Sometimes you just have to trick yourself into believing time goes fast, or it´s not that bad, there is just no living if you think about bad sh... too often.

[Kylo]

Yeah. Honestly the deadlines I have put me in this mental state of wishing I had longer to get things done, a month or a year not feeling like it would without them. If I was sitting around with not much to do I'd probably be crawling the walls. The constant pressure isn't fun after a while but on the plus side, it's probably better than nothing and only having the surgery on my mind. A year wait is depressing. A year with study and work and even more work and trying to find a new place to live, save up for a new car, get a better body etc. just about manages to make things bearable.