He's not doing it on purpose but he said when I dress like a guy (meaning not very femme) he sees me as guy, he said maybe if I call you by gender neutral pronouns it will be easier and I said no just call me by female pronouns and he keeps saying he's trying hard to, it's not on purpose, etc but it hurts because he sees me as a guy still, even though he says he doesnt, it means he hasnt thought about me on a deep enough level to understand me and process it, like he's in denial until it's physically impossible to see any masculinity in me. if he were to think about me or recall a memory with me, he deep down probably associates me with being male, whether he realizes it or not. I told him if he were empathetic, he would have at some point thought about me in his free time and found it interesting or wondered how it feels, etc. If you met michael jackson after his skin turned white and didn't know his skin was black before and he told you he was black, your mind wouldn't question it, even if he didn't come across as how you perceive a stereotypical african american to look or act, your mind wouldn't second guess it, you would process it and at some point probably think "wow, i wonder what that was like" to go through, etc but it seems like his mind never fully digested the idea that I am female, he needs to see me look like a total femme cisgender woman because his mind processes me as a woman. He says he loves me, not romantically but like family and he's helped me and even gave me courage to dress feminine more often and said I'm ready to and that I do look female enough to, but it's just unfortunate that most of the time we are together we are home and i don't the most feminine voice, don't wear makeup at home, dont do very "girly things" and appear very gender neutral and he said when he sees someone that looks gender neutral in his mind he automatically considers them a guy
