Quote from: PurpleWolf on November 14, 2017, 01:54:32 AM
I'm pre-everything & don't have access to treatment at this moment. But I'm contemplating whether to go on T or not.
This is my pros & cons list:
Pros:
- Being read as male, always
- Fat distribution (I'd love to have male legs etc.)
- Broader shoulders, more muscle mass etc.
- Genital growth
- Cessation of you-know-what (obviously!)
- Facial hair (I'd like to be able to grow a soul patch or similar. Or more than that.)
- More masculine facial features (I like my face but it does seem a bit feminine at times "of course")
(- Voice drop: I actually like my voice but sometimes I wish it would be lower.)
Cons:
- Acne (I suffered some severe acne last time I went through puberty, so....! I know it's temporary, but still... I really, really would NOT like to experience that again!)
- Getting bald (Unfortunately, my hair is my life, so... Getting bald would be pretty much devastating... and I have baldness in my family on both sides... This is a real concern.)
- Possible medical problems:
- high blood pressure, cholesterol etc. (runs in the family!)
- having (possibly) to get a hysto eventually (I HATE HATE HATE operations of all kinds), though I know it's not necessarily required (though many want it)
- having to do regular blood work and everything through the rest of my life
(This pretty much sums my medical concerns: http://fenwayhealth.org/documents/medical/transgender-resources/Informed_Consent_-_Testosterone_Therapy.pdf)
- Voice drop: Believe it or not, I like my voice unlike many guys! It's because years ago I consciously lowered it - and now I think I really sound "guyish". (I've been called sir on the phone.) Plus I sing, so I'm actually concerned about my range and voice dropping too low.
Some pros have some cons in them:
- Facial hair: I'd like to be able to grow a soul patch or something, I think. On the other hand I'm not a huge fan of beards, so... Before I used to think that I'd probably shave it anyway, and without T I wouldn't have to... (Though now I've changed my mind a bit about that soul patch thing, meaning I think I would like to be able to grow something after all.)
- Genital growth: Clit getting so big it loses sensation and rubs nastily against underwear all the time as I've heard... or something. Like "what if I don't like it after all"
- Sex life: I've heard that T can cause "drying" in that area... That wouldn't be very nice. (Though I've also heard that some guys actually get more wet on it - but nevertheless I've heard it impacts the "lubrication system" whatever you like to call it... and it usually dries out?)
- Again the voice: This is a huge one for me because I'm a singer! I'm generally happy how my voice is right now. It's not hugely deep - but I do think it sounds like a guy's voice. Actually sometimes I panic and consciously speak higher to "pass" as a female! But sometimes I'm a little bit self-conscious about it and wonder whether I sound guy enough... But overall I'm ok with it now.
- Body hair: Here is the thing. I don't have any visible body hair as of now. (I don't shave at all and do have armpit hair etc. of course.) And of course I do have hairs on my arms and legs - but they are so light that they barely show. And I've "accepted" myself like this: that I happen to be a pretty hairless guy. That I can't grow a beard (though I'd like that soul patch or something) and don't have any body hair - and I actually kinda like it! So, I'm really not looking forward to have huge bushes on my legs... I'm not a huge fan of chest hair either, so...! Overall, though, I don't have a problem with body hair, so it's not a huge con either. Like, whatever. But I wouldn't like to grow A LOT of hair, either!
And then there are those general "fears" of "what if I don't like if after all" or "what if I don't like the feel of it", including: facial hair growth, clitoris growth, body hair growth, the voice drop, changing facial features...
I know I can always stop T anytime - but things like the voice drop, facial hair, masculinized facial features and clitoris growth are of course irreversible!
----
If I didn't forget something obvious, there was it! Like my girlfriend put it: I either wanna pass as a man and take T - or come to terms with being always read as a woman/non-binary/whatnot.
I've always wanted to operate my chest of course. So these concerns are strictly about whether to get on T or not.
The biggest concerns are definitely the balding, acne (though temporary, I know, but still), not liking the voice drop and it being irreversible, and those general medical concerns. It sucks having to shoot yourself for the rest of your life and regularly monitoring your body. I read somewhere that without hysto you need to even check your insides with an ultrasound regularly :/!
But, if I DON'T get on T: I will have the monthly **** forever! I'm not automatically read as a guy... (Being always read as a male would definitely be a perk!) I would never grow a beard... I would never have a proper "guy frame"...
I've been contemplating this a LOT... so I hope you guys could give me some insight, 
! Thanks!
I've heard that many people had those same concerns and fears before T... Does it really come to the point that whether I wanna be read as a male or not? Did any of your fears come true? Is it stupid to concentrate on few facts (voice, balding)?
Is it possible that my voice doesn't drop that much after all? (But because I sing, I'm concerned even about the voice dropping process itself and the time it takes...) Or will it drop dramatically lower because I already have a low, male-sounding, voice?
PLEASE help me, :DDD!
Before you read this, I'm going to tell you that I have NOT read anyone else's responses. I wanted to tell you of my experiences before I do so, so I can give you an unbiased view.
Your Pros:
-Being on T for just shy of 11 months, I'm read as male 85%-90% of the time.
-My fat distribution has definitely changed for the better. Sure, my moobs droop some now, but I've also lost thigh fat and some facial fat as well. My spare tire, while not bad to begin with, seems to be staying. Oh well.
-I'm a disabled Paramedic, so due to my lifting people for most of my life, I had broad shoulders even before going on T. They're definitely broader now, and I seem to be developing a bit of a more masculine body, despite being over 50 years old.
-I hear tale of genital growth rubbing against underwear. I've not had that problem, despite having the average growth occur. Maybe its because I wear boxer briefs for the most part. Either way, I have NOT lost any sensation, if anything I"m even MORE sensitive than before! I"ve not heard of anyone actually losing sensation, but the underwear rubbing could possibly be the reason that happens. Maybe they should go up or down a size. Idunno.
-Like I said before, I'm over 50, so I'm postmenopausal. No shark week to worry about any more.
-I started out with a slight mustache and sideburn growth once the T really started my facial hair growing. I now have the beard of a typical 14 year old boy, sparse, but definitely a beard. I'd like to grow a goatee someday.
-My face is definitely more masculine, but unfortunately for me, everyone in my family has a very oval-shaped head. I see differences, and I definitely look more masculine compared to what I looked like a year ago. I look more like my brothers now, vs looking like my sisters.
-My musically trained bf said I've dropped from a female alto (similar to a male counter tenor) to a male baritone (similar to a female contralto). He says its "more complicated than that," but I don't know enough about music to understand what the complications are. To me, it sounds like I went from a middle-range female voice to a relatively deep male voice. I figured that since you sing, you would understand what these terms mean more than I do.
Your Cons:
-I'm not getting much acne, but even when I went through puberty the first time, I didn't really have a lot of trouble with it. What I AM noticing is being (mostly) African-American, I seem to get a few ingrown beard hairs every now and then. It sucks to have to dig them out, not to mention painful, but I"d rather have to do so than have all kinds of bumps all over my face and neck.
-Right now, I have nipple-length dreadlocks. I'm hoping that I don't end up with male pattern baldness, but if I do, I"ll either grow out what I can, or end up getting minoxidil to keep my hair.
-I already have high blood pressure, and I"m on medication for it. I DID have a bit of a scare for a bit when my blood pressure went up and made me dizzy. I simply went to my regular doctor, who increased one of my two blood pressure meds, and saw a cardiologist. I"m fine now, but it was kind scary sitting in a movie theater and feeling like the room was spinning! I'm also on high cholesterol meds, (both are genetic) no changes there.
-Being post menopausal, I don't have too much concern about a hysto right away, but I might get one so I don't have to worry about any complications nor having to see a gyno ever again.
-The blood work isn't a big thing. I go every four or so months, and even though I hate getting stuck with needles, I do it. All of my bloodwork gets sent to my regular doctor and my cardiologist as well as my endo. I"m probably healthier now than ever before!
-I didn't care one way or the other about my voice until I decided I wanted to transition, then it became a point of dysphoria to me. When it finally dropped, I was really happy! But, I also had to relearn how to sing so that I can sing in the car again! I"m no professional singer, but I like singing in tune, even if I'm not very good.
Your Pros with Cons in them:
-My sex life is just fine! Jerking off, sex with my bf, its all good! I'm definitely hornier than before, so now not only do I want to have sex more, but I jerk off quite often as well. I had to learn to scale myself back, Id jerk off so much I would rub myself raw! I don't have drying issues, but even if I did, I use lube anyway, so its not a problem for me.
-I'd advise you to re-learn how to sing in your new voice once it starts settling down into whatever range you end up in. Since you're a singer, I"m sure you have people you know who can help you re-learn your new range.
-I don't mind my new body hair. My arms are definitely more hairy, which I love! My legs have never been very hairy, and what new hair I have is mostly on my lower legs. I don't care, I like it. I have new hair in "other places" too, but as long as I don't have hair growing out of my nose or ears, I really don't care.
Honestly, by the time most of these changes began, I was so happy to have proof that I was transitioning, I didn't really care! And like you said, you can always stop taking T. I was prescribed Androgel, so I don't have to worry about needles. The irreversible stuff is fine, I HATE being seen as female, so being read as male is wonderful!
I plan on having top surgery someday. I'm currently doing my research as to what will be best for me, with the hopes that maybe in a year or so I'll be having it. Bottom surgery I'm not so sure I'll have, but it doesn't stop me from doing a bit of research in it anyways.
Either way you decide, realize that NO ONE is pressing you to do what you don't want to do! Take your time, do the research, ask questions, ask opinions, and do what's best for YOU, and no one else!
Good luck!
Ryuichi
