Unwanted Side Effects of HRT? (FTM)

[KittedKat]

I've just recently realized that I might be transgender, and I've been doing research into what hormone therapy could do in terms of easing my dysphoria; long story short, I'm in sort of a bind.

I like the fact that fat would redistribute to make my form less feminine, and that my voice would probably deepen; unfortunately, I hate having body hair, and taking T would definitely give me more of that. Also, I'm really not a fan of the fact that my clit will grow; if it would get as big as an average dick, I wouldn't mind, but I have heard that it is really unlikely that it'll get bigger than an inch long, which is just awkward.

What should I do? Should I skip taking T and risk not really passing? I've also heard that you can do T for a short time, so should I do that?

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. In a moment I will move this thread to Testosterone where the guys will be able to better answer your questions. In addition you will find these question have been discussed recently and some of the answers may be what you are looking for. The short answer is you  can't predict what testosterone will do. An example is my body experienced testosterone for years and other than facial hair, my body hair was minimal and limited to pubic and leg hair. The best advice is if you don't want something that testosterone will do, it's best not to take it.

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[Elis]

I think this thread you may find answers your question https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,230592.msg2049223.html#msg2049223

In regards to clit growth it can grow up to 2 or just over inches long.  So not awkward. Not like it'll stick out after its done growing. And if you opt for bottom surgery it'll stop being an issue if you're that uncomfortable by it. Most trans guys are happy they have something that looks and works like any other penis.

I wouldn't recommend starting and stopping T.  Once you stop it the male fat redistribution you've gained will be reversed  making you look how you did pre T. You may also have withdrawal symptoms as your brain had become adjusted to receiving the right hormones.

If you need to look male in order to feel right within yourself and to have a good quality of life; HRT is necessary despite the cons involved

[TK9NY]

Honestly?

If you're not ready and willing to accept all of the physical changes, including the ones you feel are negative, then don't go on T. You cannot control what does or does not change, at what rate you change, how much you change, or in which order the changes occur. Even on a low dose, you can change as much as a guy on higher dose. There is no picking and choosing, no control over anything. It just happens.

And many of the changes ARE irreversible. Once your voice drops, for example, it's never going to go back to how it was. I believe body hair (including facial hair) is the same - it will keep growing to some degree unless you pay big $$ to have it removed.

Most guys who start T are starting it with the mindset that they'll take the bad with the good because even if they don't necessarily "want" certain aspects, they would rather be read as male than female (or neutral) and would rather be fat/bald/hairy/ugly/etc than female overall. 

Hormones are a powerful drug, too. There are risks involved when taking them - you will have to monitor your T levels for the rest of your life, as well as your CBC and liver. For the first year, while things are settling and adjusting, you're looking at blood work every few months. Yearly, after that. For the rest of your life. You'll also have to keep an eye on your cholesterol and blood pressure as your body becomes more male. You will have to keep en eye out for health problems more common in men as well as keep an eye on your female parts (some of which will likely have to be removed at some point.)

This is not something you can just start and stop because you "think" it might be right and then "oops i changed my mind". Rather, it SHOULDN'T be... though a lot of guys are doing it thanks to things like PP and informed consent. It's becoming a pet peeve of mind to hear someone say "i can just try it out and see, and if i don't like it i can stop". No, please don't. This is not trial and error. There are risks with taking it (and stopping it), some changes are permanent, so don't do it unless you are 100% sure.

If you "think" you "might" be trans, then start with that. Find a therapist. Talk to a professional about your feelings, why you feel the way you do, and what you hope to see in your future. Let them help you make sense of things. You don't have to go to therapy for months, but go a few times and see what they have to say - they won't try to sway you one way or the other, they'll just help you make sense of your own thoughts. There is a lot more at stake than just physically making yourself look male, you know - you have to consider social, personal, and professional ramifications as well. EVERYTHING is going to change, not just how you look. Keep that in mind.

Chances are you'll have to do some therapy anyway, unless you go to PP or do informed consent (won't even go into my thoughts on that one). You won't be able to see an endocrinologist without a referral from a therapist, anyway. And i will never recommend PP or informed consent over an actual endocrinologist. Especially with someone who is still questioning who they are.

There is no rush to decide on anything. Don't jump into taking hormones on a "maybe". I always felt more comfortable as "he" but didn't identify as trans until after high school. I didn't decide i wanted to be on hormones until college (19/20.) I didn't start hormones until three months ago (i'm 29). I had my reasons.

Good luck!

[Kylo]

I hated the idea of some of the changes before T however afterwards I found I was perfectly happy with the body hair, facial hair, and just about everything else. I think the hormones changes the psyche to a certain degree - it definitely makes you care less about certain things. When that becomes your new reality, you might be nowhere near as bothered about them as you are now.

[widdershins]

I've known some nb folks who did a couple years of T for the permanent effects they wanted and then stopped. And for some people, that is the best option to combat their dysphoria. But whether it's an option for you is highly dependent on whether the effects you're interested in are the permanent ones, and whether you're willing to deal with all the other effects you'll have to live with for the rest of your life. If you're mainly in it for the fat redistribution, that's something that only lasts for as long as you're still taking T.

Also, keep in mind that once your voice breaks, it will remain broken until it settles down into your final male range. So there's a certain point pretty early on for some people at which you kind of have to commit unless you want to sound like a teenage boy forever.

Chances are you'll have to do some therapy anyway, unless you go to PP or do informed consent (won't even go into my thoughts on that one). You won't be able to see an endocrinologist without a referral from a therapist, anyway. And i will never recommend PP or informed consent over an actual endocrinologist. Especially with someone who is still questioning who they are.

If you're non-binary, which it sounds like the OP might be, then IC is often your only option (unless you lie through your teeth in therapy, which kind of defeats the point of therapy.) But IC doesn't rule out the possibility of seeing an actual endocrinologist. Both of the IC clinics in my city do in fact have an actual endocrinologist checking everyone's bloodwork. It really is a good idea to go to someone actually trained in this stuff rather than PP or your GP if at all possible, though.

[TK9NY]

If you're non-binary, which it sounds like the OP might be, then IC is often your only option (unless you lie through your teeth in therapy, which kind of defeats the point of therapy.) But IC doesn't rule out the possibility of seeing an actual endocrinologist. Both of the IC clinics in my city do in fact have an actual endocrinologist checking everyone's bloodwork. It really is a good idea to go to someone actually trained in this stuff rather than PP or your GP if at all possible, though.

Where i live there is only one "trans clinic" and it is indeed run by endocrinologists - if you don't see an actual endo at this clinic then you see their PAs, who consult with the endo before signing off on your script. They do all the appropriate bloodwork and monitoring. BUT they require a referral from a therapist. Just like seeing an endo at their office. So....

I don't know of any IC clinics around me, and i don't think any of the GPs in the area will prescribe HRT on informed consent either. So IC wasn't an option for me at all. But to be fair, I also wasn't looking for informed consent clinics because i had my referral and needed an actual endo to discuss HRT with (i have other medical conditions i needed to be sure wouldn't be effected by HRT.) Also why PP wasn't an option for me, though there is at least one near me that will do IC for HRT....

As far as the OP being non-binary, that is a possibility.... but there is a big difference between being non-binary and taking HRT only to achieve the desired effects and then stopping (and accepting the non-desired ones in the mean time)..... and not KNOWING if you're non-binary, trans, etc and taking HRT because you "think" it might be the right step but not really knowing for sure if you want all the effects and so on.

Which is why i'm an advocate of therapy - doesn't have to be life long, or even for as long as i have been in (since January), but a couple of sessions to discuss your thoughts and become educated about the process (and about HRT - pros, cons, side effects, etc) wouldn't hurt. ESPECIALLY if you're not sure. NO need to jump into HRT. I've also been told that SOME PP clinics offer therapy before doing HRT but i wouldn't put too much stock into that, IMO.

As far as unwanted effects of T, there are some that i'm not looking forward to. Such as the potential male pattern baldness or thinning of my hair (which i have noticed is happening). But i long ago accepted it may be possible (i'm adopted so i can't even look back at my family to see if it's in the genes - it'll be a surprise to see what happens). Same with body hair - not a huge fan, but now that i'm actually noticing it (arm hair darkening, noticing some belly/chest fuzz popping up) it's sort of exciting. You take the bad with the good when it comes to HRT!

And lastly, going on T "short term" probably won't get you any of the effects you're looking for (a lot of the more desirable ones start 3+ months in), but may give you some of the ones your not looking forward to. But everyone changes differently. My voice hasn't fully dropped yet, for example, and i just finished my third month. It's stuck in the annoying 'trying to change but not really there yet' stage yet. God i can't wait until it doesn't sound like i have on and off again bronchitis. But i'm sprouting body hair and noticing downstairs growth, for sure. Even upper lip hair, which i didn't expect this early on. Also: not noticing fat redistribution yet, but definitely noticing muscle growth UNDER the fat (which is annoying because it's there but i can't see it, lol.)

Take from it what you will. I still strongly urge people who are "questioning" to seek a gender therapist to help figure things out, as opposed to taking the "i can try it and stop if i don't like it" approach. At the very least do some serious research on HRT and it's effects. And try to find a clinic that does proper monitoring, education, etc.