Feeling as If I am Transgender

[Roll]

Does anyone here believe I do love him?

That isn't something that anyone else can decide for you, though it definitely sounds like a possibility.

[BJ0909]

That isn't something that anyone else can decide for you, though it definitely sounds like a possibility.

No I get that factor.....I know someone can decide if you love someone but yourself....but I just mean other people's perspectives...

[BJ0909]

That isn't something that anyone else can decide for you, though it definitely sounds like a possibility.

I guess all of this ties in with if I am really gay/bi/trans. And then knowing my feelings for him. Seeing other people's perspectives and what they think of me.

[BJ0909]

Not to be transphobic at all....but at work today I had a customer who I believe is transgender.....and idk for some reason I had this uncomfortable feeling....*hugs*

[Roll]

Not to be transphobic at all....but at work today I had a customer who I believe is transgender.....and idk for some reason I had this uncomfortable feeling....*hugs*

It doesn't necessarily mean you are transphobic just to feel uncomfortable in that situation, at least not externally so. It ultimately depends on why you felt uncomfortable, and that sounds like something to explore with your therapist.

[BJ0909]

It doesn't necessarily mean you are transphobic just to feel uncomfortable in that situation, at least not externally so. It ultimately depends on why you felt uncomfortable, and that sounds like something to explore with your therapist.

You know what is so sad. I have barely cried at ALL about everything related to trans. And yet......I read out loud this card my guy gave me last year when he wanted to get back with me and I cried about it.....A YEAR LATER! I read out loud writings I do to him and myself......I do get scared he would not love me anymore if I was trans.......but.....just recently I write about remembering when he first gave me a flower romantically before....and I remember every detail.....I feel as if I do love him......but its like......my heart won't let me express it or feel it?? I get aroused when thinking about him asking me if its too soon for sex....or I did...unless stress has taken that way....All I want is to be myself again.....be happy....be the happy dork I was once before all of this started...

[BJ0909]

I cry more about wondering if I have fallen in love with him more than being trans.....when my therapist mentioned she had connections if I was trans just made me more nervous than happy. And the whole situation today with the customer did make me feel uncomfortable and nervous...

[BJ0909]

I am sorry. All I want to do and know is the love I feel in my heart for him.

[BJ0909]

At this point IDK what is OCD and what isnt anymore.