The best advice I can give you is this:
You should learn to make your self-esteem stronger. The more you appreciate yourself, the more you are able to appreciate others too. The more compassionate you are towards yourself, you fear less and less of 'screwing things up'.
But in order for other people to appreciate you and like your company - you HAVE to first like yourself!!! When you interact with people with this attitude: "YAY! I'm awesome! I'm interesting and lovable and fun to be around and worth of being liked
!" Others CERTAINLY see that too! No matter what kind of person you are!!!
But if you go in slumping your shoulders & looking at your feet with the air of 'I don't matter. People will hate me nevertheless no matter what I do.' it shows too! Unfortunately. It's not about what kind of person you are. It's about people don't generally like depressed/sad company!
So, you HAVE to fake it till you make it
! Shoulders back! Smile! Get rid of negative thoughts. Just rant in your mind: "I'm awesome! I'm great! I can do this! People will love me!" etc. No matter if you believe it or not. Just THINK that
! It will work!
When people see you are confident in yourself - they are SO less likely to step over you or treat you badly. Happiness creates happiness around all people!
You can also imagine something around you that gives you comfort: Imagine you are walking with a bunch of invisible children who idolize & trust you; or some guardian angel or some person that makes you feel good about yourself. Or bunch of animals. Anything that makes you smile & feel more confident.
Also try to do new things no matter how much they scare you!!! Always think 'what is the worst thing that could happen?' If you want to ask someone out, the worst that could possibly happen is the other person saying 'no'. Could you live with that? You probably could
! This way you gain confidence in yourself little by litte.
If you've had bad experiences with people you can start changing your perception and cognitive bias of always expecting the worst outcome.
Instead of always asking 'what if?' ask: 'What if this
does work? What if everything will be just fine? What if there's a good outcome to this?' Always conquer 'what if' thoughts with counter-arguments like that!
But the first thing in making friends & feeling good about yourself is to acknowledge and BELIEVE you are WORTH IT. You can't expect anyone to think you are worth something if you can't even believe that yourself!!!
- You are what you believe -
If you believe you are worthy of company, raise, love, friendship, a great life, success etc. - YOU ARE! Good things will automatically come to you. As simple as that.
So, learn to appreciate yourself, your time, your contribution to life, your career, your life choices, your unique personality, that you have something to give to this world - and suddenly you are making unconscious changes in yourself that actually LEAD to those things,
! Guaranteed!
Wanna make friends? Be your own best friend first! And when others see how awesome friend you are, they wanna be your friends too!
- Hope this helps -
