It takes so long, need advice.

[TheCampbellMan]

Hey, I'm Everett. I'm a guy from Scotland who has had to wait just over a year for even a first appointment for my gender clinic (appointments January 17th, I'm over the moon with happiness!)

Even though I'm happy to finally get seen I'm in tears at 5am now thinking about how much longer they'll make me wait. I don't pass, at all. My chest is massive and my waist is small, no matter how I bind it sticks out so much that layering doesn't help. Even when I think I look great I've never passed once. Even if I managed to hide it my face is very... Adorable, with large lips and round rosy cheeks and big eyes. I don't look like a guy at all and I've been flat out ignored when I tell people I'm a guy.

Point being, I've only filed in for a name change in early December because I've been looking for a job and I have little experience so I was petrified adding that I was a guy would make them be turned off even more once they got a look at me. I've been living as a guy at home and 'socially' for around a year now. It's the happiest I've ever been. I say 'socially' in quotes because as I said, I don't pass. I don't get much chance to correct people as it usually happens ('have a nice day ma'am' 'Here's you go ladies!' 'thanks lass') right before they immediately leave to help someone else or talk to someone else so I don't even get a chance. My friends, family and my family friends all call me Everett though so I do have a sizable amount of people calling me my name, I feel great.

However the gender clinic will look at my forms for name chance and say I've only been doing real life experience for a month (by the time they see me) and the thought of waiting another year before I can do anything is driving me insane. I don't know when a second appointment would even be, for all I know because of how small help for Scottish people are I could be waiting another year anyway...

I've gone as far as considering altering the deed poll to say something like 'oh this was signed March' so I can more correctly match it up to how long I've been living like this. It's not an 'official' document like one you'd get for the bank is but it's good enough for the majority of things like changing names at a doctors so I wouldn't feel that bad about it, but obviously I've been... Hesitant in case they found out.

I'm just so tired. I can't pass, I feel so feminine all the time and waiting is torture. I'm not sure what to do.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I don't know how the system works, but sometimes alternate identification might work. If you have any records like bills or check stubs they might prove you have been living longer. Another alternative might be witnessed statement from a from a few of the people who are using your new name. I understand you haven't see a therapist but if you have appointments with your regular doctor, that could be another source of documentation. It's best to stick to the truth because if you falsify anything and your caught it could delay your treatment.

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[TheCampbellMan]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I don't know how the system works, but sometimes alternate identification might work. If you have any records like bills or check stubs they might prove you have been living longer. Another alternative might be witnessed statement from a from a few of the people who are using your new name. I understand you haven't see a therapist but if you have appointments with your regular doctor, that could be another source of documentation. It's best to stick to the truth because if you falsify anything and your caught it could delay your treatment.

Hi Dena!

I don't feel I have any documents like that that would help me, because I'm still living with my parents so am not paying any bills or filling out forms on a regular basis. I know I shouldn't falsify details, it's not a good thing to do. I just feel like, especially because of the limited amount of trans specialised doctors in Scotland, it'll take a year to get RLE verification and then another year to get surgeries, it's so frustrating. I don't think I'll do it, I won't have the guts to change documents.

[Dena]

The time period you are dealing with isn't the worst I have hear on the form. Some of our UK members face a two year wait before their first appointment and then several more months before their second appointment and the start of hormones. Once they reach that point, it may be another year before surgery. You seem to have more resources than some places.

As for witnessed statements, I am not sure that they will help but at this point, they can't hurt. Any documentation , maybe even receipts for clothing you have bought could prove useful. Remember that you have one appointment to impress the therapist so you want to be as prepared as possible to face any question that might come up.