A rock and a hard place
I have responsibilities to support my daughters and provide my 'wife' who cares nothing about me with what they need to establish themselves. She is still not 100% capable of supporting herself here. The kids need a Father, but other than my youngest no one even wants me in the house besides what I can provide. So I pay the bills, sort out the problems, but at all turns get criticized for not doing anything well enough, that I'm 'embarrassing' and even crazy.
I know that what I'm doing is essential for my continued happiness or if I wish to continue to keep living at all. This is me, has always been me and I don't care what others think, see, or even say about it. In fact if I lose EVERYTHING of my past life its still worth the price.
I can't leave my family in their current state, I can't live in this house the way things are. Right now there is no way we can support two households, it would be foolish in the extreme. I'm sure there is a way forward but right now I can't see it...
Tomorrow WILL be an awesome day.. somehow.