Things that have improved your self-esteem?

[PurpleWolf]

What kind of things have made you feel better about yourself after realizing you're trans?
What has made you feel attractive as your new sex?

Have you always had a solid good self-esteem as a person? Or did you use to doubt you'd never look good as a man/woman?

Have you felt hot, beautiful, attractive or handsome as your true self? In what kind of situations?

Did you use to have a bad self-esteem? Has it now skyrocketed?

Ofc feel free to include any non-sexual thing as well!
Do you think you're a better person now? Have you gotten compliments that have made your day?

Has working out paid off? Do you now enjoy seeing yourself in the mirror?

Do you feel much more confident now than pre-transition?

Has being considered as one of the guys/girls made a real difference?

[flytrap]

I have a collapsed buttocks cheek and a bulge in my back because of my scoliosis. Wearing a padded panty and baggy tops has done wonders for my self image. I am also thrilled to be scheduled for facial reconstruction from the cancer surgery I had several years ago!

[KathyLauren]

What kind of things have made you feel better about yourself after realizing you're trans?
The fact that I did it.  Every time I took another step forward, I felt better about myself.

What has made you feel attractive as your new sex?
Having a nice, healthy figure (though curvier would be nice, thank you) and wearing pretty clothes.

Have you always had a solid good self-esteem as a person?
My self-esteem used to be weak.  When I was trying to be a guy, the only way to get self-esteem was to complete a project.  I defined myself by what I could do.  Now I define myself by who I am, and I like who I am.

Do you think you're a better person now?
Yes, I do.  I am more in touch with myself, more authentic.  I'd like to think I was always a good person, but I think that the increased authenticity makes me a better person.

Have you gotten compliments that have made your day?
Yes.  I was in the bank and had to talk to a real human teller.  She accused me of using someone else's bank card because she couldn't believe I was 62.

Has working out paid off?
Over the long term, I am glad I have always lived an active, healthy lifestyle.  "Working out", as in going to the gym and pumping iron, not so much.  It did give me an interesting data point, in that it showed me that I couldn't build any strength in my upper body.  Good old DES.

Do you now enjoy seeing yourself in the mirror?
Parts of me.  I don't like seeing my hairline or my genitals.  The rest of me is coming along nicely, if I do say so myself.

Do you feel much more confident now than pre-transition?
Way more confident!  This was one of the biggest benefits of transition for me.

Has being considered as one of the guys/girls made a real difference?
Yes.  Being "one of the girls" is what I lived for.  When I am treated that way, it is so affirming, and it reassures me that I made the right choice.

[Kylo]

What kind of things have made you feel better about yourself after realizing you're trans?

Well the T helps with confidence for sure.


What has made you feel attractive as your new sex?

Feeling more justified in the clothes, improved physicality, confidence.


Have you always had a solid good self-esteem as a person? Or did you use to doubt you'd never look good as a man/woman?

From the mid twenties I was confident. Fearless even, according to some people. Not entirely true, but on the outside probably so. I don't doubt some of it comes from the idea my life was already ruined, so there was nothing left to lose. I do feel better since it doesn't matter how I look. But I've never been all that bothered about how I look.   


Have you felt hot, beautiful, attractive or handsome as your true self? In what kind of situations?

Not really. I can't look at myself in that way yet. It might take years before I can.


Did you use to have a bad self-esteem? Has it now skyrocketed?

As a kid, yes. No, my self-esteem is better than ever at the moment. Despite the revelations I'm trans and it probably shaped my life's events and ruined everything, including my aspirations, I don't have any problems with self-esteem.


Do you think you're a better person now? Have you gotten compliments that have made your day?

Oh, yeah. Plenty of compliments. My problem is I don't respond to flattery or compliments much. Never have. Maybe time will change that. As a person I expect I'm better. Calmer temperament. Body is improving, and for once I want to see it improve. 


Has working out paid off? Do you now enjoy seeing yourself in the mirror?

Well I don't need to work out much to get good results, so I'd say yeah. It's nice to check out my upper body and how it's coming along as it does look pretty muscular, as do my legs. But I've never been one to care that much about big muscles. It's the male shape I'm concerned with. And that only comes with a combination of dieting and working out a certain amount. 


Do you feel much more confident now than pre-transition?

Not that much. T doesn't make you feel superhuman or anything. But it does make you less self-conscious.


Has being considered as one of the guys/girls made a real difference?

Yes. Male friends talk about different things, and I know it's in confidence. Female friends are a bit more cagey than they used to be. That's to be expected... I mean if you're not someone's other half you're "another guy" and women keep men at a distance generally. It's daft to me because I knew these people before but I figure it's instinctual and they can't help it. In the same way men forget you're a potential object of interest and more of an ally or rival instead. I still use my arsenal of knowledge of all these things to get what I want out of people in a sense, it's not that hard, but you can feel the changing resistance in relationships almost like a tangible force.   

[The Flying Lemur]

What kind of things have made you feel better about yourself after realizing you're trans?
What has made you feel attractive as your new sex?

I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when presenting as male, and that makes me feel more attractive.

Have you always had a solid good self-esteem as a person? Or did you use to doubt you'd never look good as a man/woman?

Ha!  No to the first question.  :p  I wasn't a pretty woman, and I'm not a handsome man, but whereas I used to cringe and apologize for my plainness, I now really could care less.

Have you felt hot, beautiful, attractive or handsome as your true self? In what kind of situations?


Male clothes help me feel a lot better about myself.  I'm not really sure why, but the more masculine I present, the better I feel.

Did you use to have a bad self-esteem? Has it now skyrocketed?


I don't know if it's skyrocketed exactly, but it's much better than it used to be. 

Do you think you're a better person now? Have you gotten compliments that have made your day?

It's hard to say if I'm a better person.  I have more emotional energy to do stuff, so I'm a more active person.  Basically, whatever I was doing before I'm doing more of now--for good or for ill.  :p

Has working out paid off? Do you now enjoy seeing yourself in the mirror?


I've lost a fair amount of weight, but I have plenty left to go.  I think I may have to have top surgery before I really enjoy seeing myself in the mirror.

Do you feel much more confident now than pre-transition?


Definitely!

Has being considered as one of the guys/girls made a real difference?

Yes.  Just last night I was at a gathering where it was just a bunch of cis guys and me.  The difference in the way they act when there's no women in the room is really palpable.  They didn't go out of their way to be polite or chivalrous to me in any way, which was awesome.  Before they would have censored themselves.

[PurpleWolf]

Things that have improved my self-esteem:
- Being told by others I'd look good & attractive on T
- Being repeatedly told I look guyish & masculine already
- Working out & seeing some improvement in upper body while still being pre-T (broader shoulders, bigger arms)
- Getting support (mainly here but also elsewhere)
- Getting rid of shame (of this condition plus life situation)
- Losing weight
- Expanding my comfort zone
- Constantly striving for improvement & success; always persevering
- Reading self-help stuff & inspiring articles
- Peer support & discussing things with other trans folks, especially here; comparing experiences
- Accomplishing small everyday goals 
- Getting a working binder!!! Finally!
- Most importantly the name change; obviously - made a HUGE difference on my psyche
- Being around or talking to positive people; getting encouragement & compliments
- In the past things like passing as a guy or on the phone
- Working towards transitioning & improving my life
- Expanding my social circle & getting new friends
- Realizing I'm just normal & people are able to see me as a guy (feels just wonderful)
- Learning to love myself & stopping putting myself constantly down
- Learning to set boundaries and saying no when I don't feel like it
- Not letting others treat me badly anymore (used to be a lifelong habit...)
- Helping & inspiring & encouraging others  !
- Clearly seeing a future for myself & fantasizing about how I'd look as my ideal self as a guy in the future! How I will look on T  !!!
- Trying to be honest & speaking my mind confidently
- Saying more of 'yes' than 'no' 
- Listening to advice and appreciating that I can learn something from every new person I meet
- Generally feeling liked, loved & cared for & appreciated & accepted as a person; which I didn't use to have at all before
- Finally living my dream  !

I definitely didn't use to have a strong self-esteem! I suffered from bad self-esteem my whole life. But in recent years I've made conscious effort to improve it, and feel I do now have a solid, good self-esteem finally  . I feel worthy & confident in myself and generally feel good about myself. And don't really care what others think of me that much. If they don't like me, it's their loss, not mine.

[Julia1996]

My boyfriend improved my self confidence a lot. He genuinely finds my hair, skin and natural eye color attractive which helps a lot since so many people find me weird looking. Another thing that's helped my self confidence a lot is my mom moving to another state. Having her remind me that I'm not a "real" girl and never would be and that I looked weird and would never look normal every time I was around her would totally shred my self confidence.

[PurpleWolf]

Another thing that's helped my self confidence a lot is my mom moving to another state.

Can believe...!!!!

[falk]

What kind of things have made you feel better about yourself after realizing you're trans?

I'm trans and intersex and also not white. So I kinda doubted I was trans for a while and that I was just feeling malcontented with those other things. Medicalizing my dysphoria, learning more about nonbinary identities as "valid" [for the lack of a better idea], learning about two-spirit people [not an idea within my tribe but it helped all the same], and learning you can be intersex and trans [or intersex and cis] because being trans is more about rejecting your assigned sex, not your biology.

What has made you feel attractive as your new sex?

Ha ha. Uh...I don't think I feel all that attractive now or even when I started realizing I was trans? I used to hookup and have casual sex a lot. When I was...around 17, I started thinking of myself as trans and still continued my promiscuity [until more recently, late in my 20th year, I'm 21 now for reference]. I guess I liked the attraction I felt directed towards myself but none of it was really "good", more "toxic" because I'm like 12 different fetishes disguised under a ratty trenchcoat. Not sure how to work around that particular barrier [imagined or not, it's still a problem for me]. For now I'm fine being celibate as I work through my issues. [I don't like involving other people in problems if I can help it].

Have you always had a solid good self-esteem as a person? Or did you use to doubt you'd never look good as a man/woman?

Never had solid self esteem. I alternate between narcissism/arrogance and low self esteem, ha ha. I have doubts I'd never look attractive as a man even ignoring the fact I don't entirely feel like one [or whatever that means].

Have you felt hot, beautiful, attractive or handsome as your true self? In what kind of situations?

I kinda felt hot/handsome/attractive but only when I was high/drunk or in a manic episode so I kinda doubt those feelings as "real". Maybe at some point I'll feel more comfortable with myself.

Did you use to have a bad self-esteem? Has it now skyrocketed?

I'd say it improved but I'm still labeled with "bad self-esteem" and I certainly feel the effects of that. Right now I just feel "reflexively self-negative" rather than "actively self-negative" and I'm making small improvements. Socially, I don't think a lot of people assume I suffer from negative self-esteem.

Do you think you're a better person now? Have you gotten compliments that have made your day?

Well, I'm an improved version of myself but I don't know if I'd say "better". I have problems with honesty and have my own bad habits. But I'm less aggressive overall and feel more authentic than I have in the past. I have friends online that sometimes compliment me either on my looks or skills that I feel like I can accept and thus make my day.

Has working out paid off? Do you now enjoy seeing yourself in the mirror?


I've done physical therapy sessions for my leg and my posture which made me feel more "normal" and helped me emotionally. I started working out for real now; mostly running which helps my asthma. I try to not look in mirrors if I can help it but there's days where I'm mostly "okay" with my appearance. I sometimes take selfies [rarely post them] but I guess I feel better about my appearance than I have in years?

Do you feel much more confident now than pre-transition?

In some ways, yes. I feel more authentic making the decision and effort to transition. It's a huge weight of my shoulders that I didn't know I was carrying. In other ways, no. I'm still considered "pre-everything" and I'm only semi-socially out [as in, I'm in the process of changing my name over but no one uses it....and I'm trying to present myself less as female and more as me but it's slow going]. I feel like I'm not making a lot of progress despite the fact that for me I am.

Has being considered as one of the guys/girls made a real difference?

I don't think anyone considers me as "one of the guys" and I think I'm mostly okay with that.

Another thing that really improved my overall confidence is that I moved out of an abusive household, moved entirely out of state to start fresh. I have an automatic habit of lying but I'm self aware of it and been attempting to let go of that and live more authentically. I'm slightly cautious so I try to lie only if I have a reason to [safety and all that]. I'm not one of those LGBT+ people that have a concept of "pride" so there's that.

I've been working on improving myself in various ways including pursuing education, switching my work around, taking care of my health and mental health. I try to socialize more and for now I have online friends. I want to have offline friends too but considering my dysphoria and low self-esteem I'm not sure if I should push that effort. [I have speech impediments, facial ticks, look disabled and whatnot, so I have trouble showing myself to people, hence the online friends. They don't really see how I "act" or normally look in motion so I feel more secure with them. Which I realize sounds bad].

[Roll]

What kind of things have made you feel better about yourself after realizing you're trans?

Well, you for one! No, seriously, you and everyone else I've met here who have just been so incredibly wonderful have made an impact that it is impossible for words to give justice to!

What has made you feel attractive as your new sex?

That picture, you know the one.

Have you always had a solid good self-esteem as a person? Or did you use to doubt you'd never look good as a man/woman?

Did you use to have a bad self-esteem? Has it now skyrocketed?

No self esteem and thought I'd never look good as either. Definitely shot up quite a bit.

Have you felt hot, beautiful, attractive or handsome as your true self? In what kind of situations?

See: Picture!

Do you think you're a better person now?

Not really for this one. I don't think I'm a better person, just a truer person.

Have you gotten compliments that have made your day? Has working out paid off? Do you now enjoy seeing yourself in the mirror? Do you feel much more confident now than pre-transition?

When I first showed my sister any picture of me (my old profile pic), she said "Awwww, you're so cute!" and it just made my heart melt. Then when I first showed my sister the good picture of me, she said "oh my god you look like a model!" and I just wanted to cry. Confidence is still a work in progress, but I definitely like seeing myself in the mirror more.

Has being considered as one of the guys/girls made a real difference?

Absolutely, when my sister and I have girl talks (thats really all there is to describe it), it just feels so wonderful!

[PurpleWolf]

Well, you for one! No, seriously, you and everyone else I've met here who have just been so incredibly wonderful have made an impact that it is impossible for words to give justice to!

Likewise, 

I'm so incredibly happy to hear all that!!! (Not just that comment but the whole post ofc xD)

[PurpleWolf]

When I first showed my sister any picture of me (my old profile pic), she said "Awwww, you're so cute!" and it just made my heart melt. Then when I first showed my sister the good picture of me, she said "oh my god you look like a model!" and I just wanted to cry.

Your sister reads my mind