I am only out to a few people, but that will change soon. I plan to come out to my daughters after Christmas, the rest of my family in late February, then everyone else in late March. The brief glimpses of freedom I have experienced have made me long for more, and I expect my physical appearance will start to draw attention within a few months anyway. My anticipation of that final day as a male is growing daily.
In the last four months my estradiol level has risen from 52pg/mL to 65pg/mL and my testosterone levels have dropped significantly: free T dropped from 8.0pg/mL to 2.8pg/mL and total T went from 608ng/dL to 114ng/dL. Even with the lowered testosterone everything still works, but only when I want it to. Initially my doctor was not going to change my medications, but when I mentioned I was hoping for lower testosterone levels she bumped my spiro up a little. Maybe I should ask about bumping up my estradiol too!
I have lost about 20 pounds since starting estradiol. After shrinking about 2 inches my chest measurement is back to where it started, but that is due to some definite breast growth. I'm getting close to a 36A. My waist has gone from 31 inches down to 29. My hips have gone from 42 inches down to 39, but they have recently started getting bigger. My thighs have gone from 24 inches down to 22. When I was in 8th grade I wore size 40 pants. I am now 6ft 1in and weigh 155 pounds. The only co-worker who knows my secret said I was 'svelte', a term I never expected to hear. My doctor actually suggested that I gain a few pounds, also something I never expected to hear.
A few weeks ago I cleaned out my closets and donated a few hundred pounds of clothes to a local homeless shelter. Most of my men's shirts are gone, and I only kept one pair men's pants for future reference. When I started estradiol I wore size 16 womens jeans, now size 8-10 is comfortable. Unfortunately pants with 34-inch inseams are sometimes hard to find.
I have not had a haircut since 18 Dec 2016, but no one has asked about it. I keep it pasted down with mousse so know one can really tell how much hair I have. My skin is also getting smoother and more sensitive. After an electrolysis appointment it would usually only take an hour or so for any redness to fade, now it takes much longer.
My wife and I are both going to therapy, and after several rough months I think we are going to be OK. She seems to be more accepting every day. During one session the therapist mentioned she was surprised at how calm I was. The anger I have dealt with for over four decades is gone. Sometimes I smile for no reason, it makes people wonder what I am up to!
I am scheduled for a trachea shave on 4 January. The surgeon said my Adam's Apple is average sized, so he should be able to reduce it significantly without any issues. I guess I'll need some turtlenecks to hide the incision until it heals enough for some concealer.
