Scared and worried about what will come...

[MissNatalieL]

So... I recently went to my Doctor and talked with her about being Transgender... I was so nervous to do it because it's something I have always kept hidden from everyone my whole life! But we got talking and she was amazing with it! I loved talking with her about it and she was very accepting and knowledgeable about it, and told me that when I am ready to start hormones to contact her and she will send the specialist a referral. This all happened October 10th.

On October 14th I had contacted her and told her I have been doing research on how I have always felt for about 12 years, and that I am ready to start hormones! I am done waiting! She said great and that she would get my referral right into the specialist, but told me to start therapy anyway as it will help me through my transition.

2 Weeks later I had still heard nothing from the specialist and was about ready to call my Doctor to see what was up, when I had gotten a call from her instead She had told me they had not heard anything either and had sent a fax over to see why not, only to find out the specialist was booked for the year and would start scheduling appointments again in January  I was just finally glad to at least of heard something!

My first therapy session was on November 30th, not to long ago And she is amazing! OMG I loved talking with her and honestly can't wait to go back She had told me that it usually takes about 3 months for her to decide if she will write a referral to start hormones or not, and I am super worried about that 

I worry about small things all the time... I am just worried I wont get a referral from her and I will be stuck... Like I have always been  I am just wondering if anyone has had a situation like this, or has any advice on it... I have been doing research about hormones, and been a "shadow" of the trans community since I was 12 years old, I am now almost 24 and just ready to be me!

Just writing this has helped me relax, but thank you to anyone who can help me out with this 

[krobinson103]

H day approaches for me. Last hurdle (bloods) came out clean. Next Tuesday I have an appointment with the Doctor who has said he is happy to prescribe screen was clear. I know I must do this for my own sanity. Do not want that repressed angry dude back in my head, however I also know its going to hurt my family. To a point its a bit late anyway as the regime I've been following while the family was away has had results that will give the game away anyway and end up with the same (positive or negative) result.

I think its a matter of accepting the risk (and the ->-bleeped-<- scaredness of it) and letting the roller coaster of life take you where you want to go. If this is truly what you want there is nothing to worried about as it will be the right path, and you will find a way to get past all the bumps in the road.

[Floof]

IDK which country you are in, but to me 3 months sounds quite efficient and reasonable!

Do you present as female now? For my part, what helped me the most in moving my progress forward was make it clear that I would be brave enough to show up dressed for every appointment with the therapist.. And just a few weeks of doing that I was living full time! You certainly don't need to move so quickly, but I think it would help both you and her to be confident in your decision to move forward if you start dressing for your meetings.

Have you got any outfits or such? If not, you can get some for cheap online; go for the normal average-woman looking stuff. Feminine Jeans and a couple nice tops and sweaters. Best of luck anyway, sounds like such exciting progress in a very short time!

I'm 26yo so not a lot older than you, and also got hit in full by gender dysphoria at age 12. At age 24 I hadn't started HRT, now I'm a year on it and got SRS completed as well! A lot can happen very quickly if things go well, if you have any specific questions and want to pry a bit into my personal journey for advice and reference please feel free to message me. 

[Denise]

If you're seeing a gender therapist and she says "no" (which would be a surprise, ask why.  She may have a good reason and might prevent issues later.  But if you've been thinking about your gender and either wanting to be the other or not be the gender you are then you are gender dysphoric.  That's the definition.

About wearing female clothes out, not a bad idea. I started with women's jeans.  OMG are they comfortable!

You'll be fine.

BTW if you are in the US you don't need anyone's permission to start.  Only for GCS do most (all?) Surgeons require letters.  My surgeon requires three and from very specific people.

Smile, the roller coaster is about to leave the station.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

[KathyLauren]

Waiting is hard, I know.  We have public health care here in Canada, and though the price and the quality of care are excellent, the wait lists are a pain.  One thing about transition is that it takes patience!

Congratulations on coming out to your doctor and the therapist!

Getting your referral letter is not a test.  They are not looking to deny you access.  Being transgender is something that is self-diagnosed, so if you come in saying that you are trans, they will do their best to take you at your word.  They do have an obligation to rule out other factors such as mental illness before giving you the referral.  They will also want to cover informed consent, meaning that they will explain in detail what the hormones can do, what they can't do, what they might do that you might not want, etc.  That all takes time and a few visits.

When I was in the military, there was an expression we used: "hurry up and wait".  Anyone in any armed forces anywhere in the world knows all about it.  After a while, you get good at it.  It turns out that it was very good practice for navigating the medical aspects of transitioning.

Hang in there!

[Phoenix1742]

About wearing female clothes out, not a bad idea. I started with women's jeans.  OMG are they comfortable!

Comfortable, but why don't they have pockets!?! [emoji16]

But to the OP, I don't have much advice, as I haven't started hormones, and I'm honestly not sure if I will. But I think going to the effort of presenting as femme will be huge. I started with small "feminine" habits - shaving, eyebrows, etc, and I was dressing at home for awhile before I got the courage to go out dressed. Even with that I'd start small - being dressed and taking out the trash or getting the mail, or going for a quick walk. And the more I did it, the more comfortable I got in doing it.

The hard part is in being patient, these things take time.


Sent from my VS988 using Tapatalk

[MissNatalieL]

Thank you all for the replies

I don't have many feminine clothes, but I have gone out as en femme twice now, the first time was to get my nails done, and omg! I was so excited to go out in them, so excited to get my nails done, but once I got to the salon I got so nervous! But once I finally got the courage to get out of my car and walk to the salon, I felt amazing I got my nails done, talked with the gal that was doing them, and I just felt all around good! I felt like how I wished I could have felt all my life, and was so comfortable by the time I left that I was more worried about messing up my nails than if people were looking at me

My second time going out was actually to my therapist! I don't have a lot of clothes to choose from, so I wore pretty close to what I wore to get my nails done (which was some womens boots (it's getting cold in Michigan), jeans, and a long sleeved top), and by then I was honestly not worried about anything, I was just happy wearing what I wanted to

I have been wearing my normal (feminine) clothes around the house since a week or so after I talked with my doctor, but currently right now I still go out in my male clothes and work in my male clothes, I have a feeling work clothes wont change but im feeling to leave where I work anyway, but I want to start going out in my new normal clothes (ive been trying to say that because they arnt my "female clothes" anymore, there my clothes) pretty much all the time as they just make me feel happier and more comfortable! Which brings me to the point of OMG I know! Womens jeans are so much better! My whole life I have struggled with male jeans, they have just never fit me right! I could get a pair that was tight at my 36" hips but they would eventually slide down because of my 26" waist, so I always had to wear a belt. I went out and purchased my very first pair of womens jeans and they fit perfect! No joke! It was like the jeans were made for my specific body! But now I see the struggle of the curse of no pockets I went to slide my phone in one (which I could fit probably 2 and 1/2 of my phones in my male jean pockets) and it went like, half way in! SO.... this weekend is purse shopping weekend

I still have yet to wear much makeup out, I can pull of some tinted moisturizer, clear mascara, and I love silver or nude eyeliner, but that's about all I wear currently, and my hair is slowly growing out! It's the longest it's ever been but it still has a long way to go 

[DawnOday]

Makeup? I've been practicing for 50 years. Still can't get it right. Although it is much easier to actually use makeup rather than colored pencils, cork, and talc, which I used early on.