FTM, Shopping makes me hate myself.

[Charlie-Is-Anxious]

Hi Guys,

so I hate Shopping honestly I despise it, nothing ever fits right. Im not plus sized but i'm a bit chubby and i'm trying to lose weight and have so far been unsuccessful, in fact I'v put on weight because of the anti-depressants i'm on and I can't function without them so I can't not take them.

I have no issue with pants because I'm 5'9 but tops are a whole different story. My lower hips and from my pelvis area down is like straight down and I have no butt at all I'm so flat, but the area between my waist and hips is a whole other story all the fat on my body just goes there and it looks like i have a constant muffin top and love handles the whole way round kind of like a tire I'm not fat but shirts constantly cling to this are I can't ever wear button up shirts they kind of just get supper tight at the bottom and I have to leave 2 buttons undone and if I get shirts that fit that area they are 3 sizes to big for the rest of me so I look like I'm even fatter & can't dress myself. T-shirts do the same I need to get clothes but I can't because I have very low self esteem and I can't stand clothes shopping because it makes me hate myself. I have cried every time I have gone clothes shopping for the last 3 years. I went shopping with my friends the other day and I literally just sobbed in the change room & made them take me home.

I don't know how to deal with the self loathing that centres around shopping, I need new clothes I haven't bought any in 3 years, Iv just given up honestly and I just hate my body. How can I buy clothes that actually fit me all I wear are oversized hoodies that I drown in.

[Elis]

Hey,

I can definitely sympathise. For tshirts there are many different styles (muscle/stretchy/oversized/longline) and you sort of need to try them all as painful as that is to see which works for your body type. I find longline pparticularly good because as it goes past your hips it creates the illusion of you having a narrow waistline. Shirts are the the biggest issue I found and they never fit right. Best to just try many different brands and see which works.

Online shopping cuts out most of the trauma I find. Have you tried Asos?  They sell clothes of their own brand but also sell clothes from many different high street shops so saves you a lot of time. And you can just send stuff back free if change if they're not right.

Sorry I can't offer better advice :/.

[aves]

I definitely feel the same pain. I hate shopping in store. I find that tshirts are the best bet out of all the shirts but if you find ones with patterns help hide some of the extra bits around the stomach.

If you can afford it, go see a tailor. They can help you find exactly what you need or help fix the issues so that it fits everywhere and not just one spot.


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[Laurie]

Hi Charlie,

  I'm Laurie. I'm MtF and I'm intimidated by clothes shopping too. I can go into the women's departments now and look around a bit since I am now presenting female but I'm still a little uneasy there. I have yet to use the dressing rooms as I still view it as  forbidden territory. Mine is not a fitting issue but a fear and an insecurity about who I am.  We all have things we need to overcome. You will figure it out I have faith in you.
  Hey, please let me say, Welcome To Susan's Place! Come on in and take a good look around.  Perhaps I can even get you to hop on over to the Introductions Thread and  create a post to tell us a little bit more about yourself so we can get to know you a little better and greet you properly. I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.

Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org

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