Well, I had taken a break from the site for a while, and I think I needed it! SO many things have happened to me in the past few months!
I reconnected with someone I had been in contact with, and had some romantic interest in, she lives across the country from me. We ended up spending a week together, and I enjoyed the time I spent with her. Unfortunately, my flight got delayed and delayed my arrival by about 2 hours, which stressed me out royally, and that kind of set the tone for the trip. Unfortunately, during the trip I had a lot of conflict with my then partner, it had been a volatile situation, and I knew it would either be amazing for a long time, or completely blow up fairly soon. We're not involved, but we have maintained some level of friendship. I'm disappointed, but I'm glad I figured this out and am not very emotionally wounded.
My new best friend, Chad, is also moving in with me in the next couple months, due to events at his apartment, and the caretaker just treating him like garbage. I'm excited to be able to watch his transition progress!! He starts testosterone soon, and wants me to attend his appointment with him. We're both glad to have each other's support.
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in October, it explains my emotional instability a lot better than bipolar disorder does...
CW: medical stuff, can be edited if necessary
Umm... I went to my GP who prescribes my hormones for my routine checkup, and made the mistake of telling her that my mental health wasn't great. She refused to increase my dose on the estrogen patch I use. Am I supposed to be dishonest, and just jump through hoops to get what I want? It really frustrates me that I 'm very sure an increase in dose would improve my mental state, due to previous experiences of that happening. When I started HRT I felt amazing, when I had my first dose increase, I also felt really good, but it seems as though I build up a tolerance to the new body chemistry and the mood improvement wanes. Maybe I'm mistaken, but it has improved my moods so much in the past, and I'm still at about half the dose that is normally prescribed. "( I'm just frustrated, I'm not making ANY progress in regards to medically transitioning and haven't been for most of the year. Thankfully, hormones are only a small part of the equation for me, but they are still important. My mother and I both went to see my psychiatrist, and when we started to talk about my transition (communication between us is strained) I got REALLY choked up. It was such a big deal to know that my mom is truly supportive of me. Just thinking about that moment makes me tear up. I thought she didn't understand, and kind of didn't care, I mean not in an absolute sense but was somewhat uninterested in how everything kinda was going. She said she wants to support me, but doesn't know how. I told her that I wasn't sure either.
That's a lot of what's happened for me in the past little while. I'm back in some capacity or another.
