I started in early November even though I wasn't 100% sure. Not getting my first estradiol vial right away (due to my insurance giving me trouble despite their trans health care policy) made me realize how much I wanted it. And looking forward to my weekly shot reminds me of how much I still want and need it. There is still 'some' doubt, but not enough to make me want to stop. Through therapy and slowly coming out to my loved ones, I have realized that the doubt is mostly rooted in the fear of not being loved as a trans woman by those I care about. I thought I doubted my desire, but that doubt is for the most part connected to how others will perceive me.
Again, this is my experience. I doubted for 14 years and now I see that I've always been a woman; I was just too afraid to confront it, and understandably so.
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