Going on HRT but living a double life?

[Eva Marie]

Eva, I would have NEVER guessed you were 51.  You look far younger than that, to my eyes, maybe 30's or something. 

Would you happen to know which states have better LGBT protections?  It would be cool to see some sort of 'ranking' of them, based on different criteria.  For me I would prefer to live in farm country that is hilly or with mountains, with a four-season climate. 

Thanks!

Any state that has laws protecting LGBT people, most notably California but there are others too. I stumbled across an old thread here that might have some useful info on places to live that are LGBT friendly:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=88305.0

Another way to look at it is to look at the human rights campaign's corporate equality index. That will give you an idea of LGBT friendly companies that exist even in non-LGBT friendly states. Go to www.hrc.com, click on the resources tab, and click on the corporate equality index link.

[Satinjoy]

Getting back to your original post, and I don't like my original response it sounded condescending and I did not intend that...

I do live the life you described as your goal, stealth in my birth gender around the kids, particularly the one that can't handle my transition, and privately fully transitioned or at least very obvious, but within my wife's acceptance levels.  In moments where I am alone or with the two accepting kids I transition all the way into Satinjoy, fully expressed, female psyche let loose and all of it.

For me it is not difficult to do the different exterior presentation modes.  I don't know and cannot know if that will change later.

What helps me is I am clear on the female physical programming in me, the female center, and that does not have to be hidden.  I am always transwoman under the surface presentation, and very happy with that.

So far it has worked very well, although the startup was very painful to find what works for all of us together in the family.

I think it would be a lot different if I desired to do full time transition.  I'd lose half the family.

[thevaliantx]

I've just figured out how to find my old posts.  Back in 2014 I indicated that I was detransitioning, but that it was inevitable that I would be back.  Well, Tada!!!!!  I appreciate all of the responses I got back then, and I've wisened up along the way, so I hope to be able to present a clearer picture of where I'm at.

[elkie-t]

I think the best for your son you could do if you're not lying to him, but explaining your situation, expressing your love and promising that even if you personally want to transition, you will always be there for him. If you try to build up a false facade, and go for transition - and lie to him about it - he would always question each word and deed of yours, basically not trusting you anymore. Yet he is young and he would respect your openness and truth if delivered properly


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[thevaliantx]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Elkie😍  I told him why I wanted to transition, what the meds will do to make me happier, that I want him to always call me "dad" (if he wants), that I will always be there for him.  That Kristy will remain hidden unless he and Mom want to meet her.  That if he has any questions to please ask,.

[elkie-t]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Elkie[emoji7]  I told him why I wanted to transition, what the meds will do to make me happier, that I want him to always call me "dad" (if he wants), that I will always be there for him.  That Kristy will remain hidden unless he and Mom want to meet her.  That if he has any questions to please ask,.

You're welcome, honey. I am often rude and no-pc-nonsense kind of person, but I answer to any question with the goal to help you as best as I could.

Good luck in your journey!