Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)

[Roll]

Sounds like she may be acting out of willful denial, pretending the problem doesn't exist and hoping it goes away. Unfortunately, if this is the case, that never works. I think we all know that far too well. I can't remember if you've said or not, but has she been a therapist?

Ultimately though, one way or another, she going to have to acknowledge the truth, wherever that may lead. And while I have nothing but love and compassion for SOs dealing with this issue, in the meanwhile if you are truly suffering, I feel you should do what you what need to do. (Wig, clothes, etc.) Making accommodations for the sake of loved ones is a noble thing, but when you get to the point you are yourself in agony that doesn't do anyone any good.

[Shambles]

Hi ellie, nether of us has seen a theripist, theres no point though to be honest. I know the path im on, i know what path shes on and they do come apart in the near future. The bit that keeps getting under my skin is she keeps bringing the kids into sentances. Things along the lines of they sre basically going with her. At the end of the day shes prob right but its just the absalute pov that nothing else can happen. This kinda convo needs to happen when we decide whos getting what not just a flippent remark.

I know what your saying about not holding back but i just dont want to force the moment of her saying right ive had enough now. I think that point wil def happen anyway when my weight is down if not before. Not been in a good place the last few weeks and put a few pounds on but going to need to get back into the swing. Even brought some running trainers just waiting for the weather not to be minus c before i start

She explained to me this afternoon that her mom was with her when she brought it, i didnt carry on thr convo as didnt want the conflict but i would have said she could have gotten it another time, picked up a generic card rather than husband or just not write "hubby" on it twice.

If you asked me a few weeks ago what i thought of being called a husband v wife i would have been quite easy on either, it didnt bother me but today has shown me exactly how much it does. And ive even suprised myself as didnt think i would react this badly 2bh.

Ive been talking to someone on here alot recently, open topics, girly chats, its been fantastic. The fact i can talk to someone other than my wife about this is just weird. I thought they would be no more secrets or not talkig about stuff to avoid conflict after coming out to her but its quite the opposite, im just more moody.

Shes still in love with male me, whoever that was. Im sure when we do part we can do it on good terms but if i go too ott now the chances of that deminish. More than anything i just dont want the kids to be bullied over this in the future. If someone said to me ive seen your future, you body becomes correct and feels right and you personally can live a healthy life but your kids will be messed up. You can carry on down this path or end it all now and they will never know and live happy lives i know which option i would take,i think any parent would. Ofc nobody can ever say that to me so its not like thats going to happen.

Well thats that off my chest i supose, i know i over think things ive always tried to live internally in my head.

Anyway ...

Jo x

[Shambles]

So ive brought some propper bras and it turns out like i suspected i fill a b cup ( without hrt). Im done hiding them under v baggy 5xl t shirts and wearing a compresson vest. Their me... end of. 

Just about to start work with a normal bra on and a t shirt thats still a little large but no wear near the 5xl. Hope this goes well .....

This is one part of me that im done trying to hide, 2bh it was getting hard to hide them anyway

[Cassi]

So, you've been MIA for a couple of weeks and are a B Cup now.  Glad you're okay.

[steph2.0]

If getting off of Susan's is all it takes for that kind of growth, I'll see y'all in a month.


- Stephanie

[Cassi]

If getting off of Susan's is all it takes for that kind of growth, I'll see y'all in a month.


- Stephanie

Good one Steph, lmao

[Shambles]

Ive still been around just lerking a bit ) sometimes u just need to contemplate what u actually want and see how to get it rarther than asking more questions.... and a friend.from here has been keeping me.sane on snapchat x

Ive ordered a wig, hopefully should be dispatched any day now, its a cheapish one thats all around how.it.makes me feel rarther than 100% passable so i know im on the right track

My weight loss stalled in feb so ive joined a gym, pushed through to 48lbs loss now . With the loss the boobs are now super obviious, i dont think i was fooling anyone with the compression vest anyway

Contuned work with ipl hair removal and tending to.my nails hell i even joined a lgbt network at work ( v big company) and came out to a complete stranger on there in an.email

Thought about hrt, i know i want to be on it some point this year, im thinking after 6 stone (84lb) ill start the procces privatly.

On the flip side though i have spotted myself taking more risks with own saftly and mood dips stil not good but u have to to focus on positives right

But yeah cassi... b cup.... the weight is coming off but thats no fat thats some b cup boobie tissue lol  the vest was causing some bad in grown hair action and back pain so hope thats going to ease now.

Want to wait till ive got wig 1st but then ill share the hrt timeline with wife, im still protecting her from most of this. She found some nail varnish etc and got upset but she knew i wasnt trying to hide anything bad just protect her though not sure how to tell her about the wig yet! Im wearing a bra all the time.now and she knows... i just cant not wear one now!

Ih and seeiously considering ordering some female fitted t shirts in work as i do need.some.smaller ones, bearing in mind im not out ive floated the idea with a coulple of people using the line they fitt better. And when everyone knows u have boobs well they wont go agaisnt that logic! Not quite brave enough for this yet though

[Roll]

Just wanted to drop in and say hi and that its great to hear an update!

[Shambles]

Ellie, i love you! i took your advise a few weeks ago and got that wig, big thanks to VickyS who helped me choose. It came today and had it on for about an hour and omg, i was worried i wouldn't like it, it wouldn't feel right etc. I wasnt really bothered if it didnt look real i just wanted to see how it felt, see if it could affirm that im on the right path and again.... omg i was happy like i was when i had the gender bomb drop on me. Couldn't stop taking photo's even though i hadn't shaved today. Need to tidy the hair up but i just wanted to get it on



Then on faceapp



Yes ive chosen the most fem pic of them all but please give me your thoughts on the pic, it's my 1st pic on here but wont be offended if the comments are "HA its a man in a wig!"

[Jessica]

Looking good Joanne!

I think had you shaved in the first pic you would nearly mirror the FaceApp one. Very slight difference in the eyes and cheeks.

Hugs, Jessica

[Shambles]

I think had you shaved in the first pic you would nearly mirror the FaceApp one. Very slight difference in the eyes and cheeks.

Thats a good thing right?

[Cassi]

I'm sure it is. 

I have not been able to get a decent replacement for my avatar using FaceApp since the last one.  If I try Girl 2 I'm either melted or look like the guy on the Goonies.

[Jessica]

Thats a good thing right?

Absolutely!

[Roll]

Thats a good thing right?

Glad you are happy!!

I think the wonderful thing with faceapp is that it helps illustrate how thin the line really is. While best not to take it as a true indication of final results (unless you walk around in top tier makeup and perfect lighting), when comparing the pictures you can clearly see that with only the slightest changes make all the difference. Changes that do come (even if not mirrored exactly as done by faceapp due to individual mileage) with HRT (and worse comes to worst, FFS)!

[Shambles]

Small weight update.

Lost 50lb now (3.5 stone) was 288lb (20st in october now 238 lb (17st) percent of body fat down too 45.9% down from 56%. Chest still the same size (b cup) even though ive lost over 4 inches from bust measurment (was over 48inch now 44 inch)

End goal is still to get to 162 lb (11st 8)or 126lb to loose in total.

37% of the way there now.

[Cassi]

Small weight update.

Lost 50lb now (3.5 stone) was 288lb (20st in october now 238 lb (17st) percent of body fat down too 45.9% down from 56%. Chest still the same size (b cup) even though ive lost over 4 inches from bust measurment (was over 48inch now 44 inch)

End goal is still to get to 162 lb (11st 8)or 126lb to loose in total.

37% of the way there now.

OMG!!!!!!

Jo, you and Ellie could be twins just about!!!!!!

[Shambles]

Lol why cassi, i the weight figures ? I know shes part way through looseing weight too but not sure where shes at atm. Or do u mean picture ?

Maybe the totaly completly nateral definatly real, so real its definatly growing hair and colours ?
Xx

Either way im exited for the answer, ive always wanted another sister from another mother x

[Cassi]

Lol why cassi, i the weight figures ? I know shes part way through looseing weight too but not sure where shes at atm. Or do u mean picture ?

Maybe the totaly completly nateral definatly real, so real its definatly growing hair and colours ?
Xx

Either way im exited for the answer, ive always wanted another sister from another mother x

First, it was meant to be a compliment.  Secondly, your hair and bangs, while your eyes are different, there's a youthful look on both of you and I could go on and on and on.........................

[davina61]

Your putting me to shame, fallen of the diet wagon and put 8 lb back on . best weight (30 years ago) was 11 st 8 lb from 16 and did it in 8 months . 14 st 10 now , would be happy with 12 and a 1/2  just need warmer weather now. Good to see your marching on and making progress

[Shambles]

Oh u didnt think you was being anything but nice cassi, i was just curious.... thank you.

Davina lets not get too carried away, after all im still 17 stone! Funny enough my goal is 11stone 8, basically 9 stone in total

You know i still cant belive i posted a photo of me and changed profile pic but it does make me smile when i see it