Question for Susan's longtimers, mods

[HappyMoni]

Sometimes I scan through older posts and see folks who used to post on Susan's. I am here long enough now to have seen some people come and go. Most people do move on at some point. I was wondering how it must be for the  long time moderators and other long timers to form attachments to people and see them move on. It must be kind of sad to see some folks go. It would be cool to have a Susan's reunion. Not sure how that would work. On the plus side is getting to meet wonderful new people of course. Just wonderin!
Monica

[Sephirah]

Sometimes I scan through older posts and see folks who used to post on Susan's. I am here long enough now to have seen some people come and go. Most people do move on at some point. I was wondering how it must be for the  long time moderators and other long timers to form attachments to people and see them move on. It must be kind of sad to see some folks go. It would be cool to have a Susan's reunion. Not sure how that would work. On the plus side is getting to meet wonderful new people of course. Just wonderin!
Monica

Not sure how much I can speak about this. I've been here a loooong time. But it hasn't been constant. In some ways that's worse for me, and coming back time after time, seeing 95% of current people being ones you don't recognise, it's a very... hmm... well it takes time to adjust. To not feel like a stranger again, I guess. Feels like... coming home and finding new families have moved in each time, lol.

I have formed attachments to a lot of people over the years. A lot of friendships. And yeah, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about those people, moreso when I'm here and reminded of them through an old post, or message, or something else. There's a whole lot of emotion, some good, some bad, some great.

Some folks I do miss, a lot. Some... not so much. I've been inspired by so many people, some still here (you know who you are), and some moved on. But all left their mark on me. And in the end I think that's what's important. As much as I may miss people, I don't forget them.

And hey, on the upside, there's a whole new class of Susan's to inspire me and show the light in their soul, the warmth in their heart and the steel in their will, all over again.

[Devlyn]

I've been hanging out here since probably 2008, a member since 2010. People come and go, year in and year out, just like school. You know what it's like when you go back to your school to vote. The urinals are too low and that rope climb in the gym is only a twelve foot ceiling. 

The only familiar faces you see are the Principal and the janitor.

<pushing a broom away, whistling happily>

[Christy Lee]

I had an account here back in 2006, ive since deleted that because i decided at the time i wasnt going to do anything about it, ive also since changed my e-mail address like a couple of times  since then LOL, so its hard to access which is why i created this account, but i remembered this site from back then

And ive been trying to remember a couple of people i use to talk to, i think 1 girls name was Brandi? im abit fuzzy on that TBH my old account was christy lee No caps

[Cindy]

I'm used to people moving on and seeing new people arrive. It always fascinates me that so many of the questions and doubts are the same. I'm also hit by the commonality of sadness in so many and the loneliness that comes through.

I have made close and enduring friendships and I have met some of the most incredible people that the world has on these pages. I have experienced strength and fortitude and incredible kindness.
I have had the joy of hearing people realise that they can now live.
I have listened to the final moments of one in total despair; that still haunts and inspires me.

I do miss some people who have moved on, some keep in touch by email, some promised to keep in touch but ....

I enjoy meeting new people and seeing their joy in finding out that they are not alone. I love seeing the youngsters and knowing that they have the hope of a life that I did not.

I sometimes think that I should get bored by it all and move on like others have. Some tell me that they move on because they are now complete and happy and that is wonderful. Some because they wish to hide their past and that I understand. Some tell me that they move on because they get too sad seeing the joy that others reach as life pans out for them, that I completely understand. It is those who tell me that they are leaving as they have nothing to give that I feel sad for as it means to me that they did not receive the comfort they needed and so do not understand the comfort they can give.

I think I stay because I need Susan's more than Susan's needs me. Why? I do not know, or maybe I do but will not answer.

[Roll]

Even in my short time here it has bothered me when people I have spoken with, some at length, sort of disappear. Particularly since a lot of them were still early on like me, and I can't help but wonder what happened. (Did they give up transitioning? Simply continue on without the forum? Was there some drama that drove them off(one person in particular on this)? In a handful of cases if I'm being completely paranoid I wonder if something truly terrible happened given how bad this can get.)

For my part, I don't plan on going anywhere whether you all like it or not.

[HappyMoni]

I don't know if I will be someone who stays a long time or not. I have an appreciation for those who do. I am very thankful for the site. It is Susan who created the body of the site, but it is all of us with our various experiences that breathes life into it. I dealt with hiding and shame and lack of being a whole person for such a long time that I hate to see others where I was. It may be selfish on my part, but if I can say something that makes someone feel better about things it kind of helps me heal. I have spoken with someone here who was only here a  few short months, and she made such a difference for me. Then there are the friendships I have made that I truly cherish. I killed off Clyde on this site, and wow, there is no better memory than that. lol I guess this place is a microcosm of life in general, a mixture of happy and sad, people getting close and drifting away. I hope everyone at least is able to connect  with another person who understands what they have to deal with. Thanks for listening.
Moni

[Chloe]

Particularly since a lot of them were still early on like me, and I can't help but wonder what happened.

Roll, there have been 55,428 users registered (doesn't include guest lurkers) since I joined in late 2006 . . . how could one possibly keep up with that many??

Out of the original 2035 that I remember, used to regularly post with, most have moved on and can probably count the remaining on one hand. ( Susan, of course, being number one(1) )

I would probably attribute many departures to the heightened politicization of the "transgender agenda" and disagreements within.

[Doreen]

I come & go depending on my whims.. I've been around Susans for years now.  I used to hang out in TGforums WAAAY back in the days like 1993 or so. 

[DawnOday]

In a lifetime of constant questioning and guilt to finally find a family here at Susan's. I am fearful of losing contact. Two members have affected me thus far by backing off and most of you would notice them immediately. One was a little ditzy with her questions but through her communication I learned to accept that and really respect her. No question is too dumb. The other did such a fine job of documenting her growth and I was really pulling for her to find the happiness and joy she so poignantly explained to me. She also made me aware of some of the dark side of being transgender. As I've said before Monica. You have been a real blessing, in your careful consideration, when addressing your comments. I would just love to sit down and have a conversation with you. You know, it is the person that is important not so much the sex of the individual. You, Monica are a fine Human Being. Much love to you all.

[Devlyn]

I don't know if I will be someone who stays a long time or not. I have an appreciation for those who do. I am very thankful for the site. It is Susan who created the body of the site, but it is all of us with our various experiences that breathes life into it. I dealt with hiding and shame and lack of being a whole person for such a long time that I hate to see others where I was. It may be selfish on my part, but if I can say something that makes someone feel better about things it kind of helps me heal. I have spoken with someone here who was only here a  few short months, and she made such a difference for me. Then there are the friendships I have made that I truly cherish. I killed off Clyde on this site, and wow, there is no better memory than that. lol I guess this place is a microcosm of life in general, a mixture of happy and sad, people getting close and drifting away. I hope everyone at least is able to connect  with another person who understands what they have to deal with. Thanks for listening.
Moni

There comes a point when you are fully immersed in the site, you're surrounded by folks you trust, folks who know your deepest secrets. You know that you've reached this point when you feel the need to include "Get your minds out of the gutter" every time you post. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[V M]

It's all about a crazy lil' thing called LOVE

LOVE for the longtime friendships I have made, Love for those who have come and gone and those who have returned, love for the new friends and members particularly those I am able to help in some way

Hugs

[barbie]

Yes. It is a kind of Hotel California.



Cheers!

barbie~~

[Bari Jo]

Interesting question.  I'm fairly new comparatively.  I can tell you that larger threads even by those I interact with are intimidating.  There is so much ribbing and comradere that has developed in them, it's easy to not read and not post, unless you need to.  It's almost like being in high school, there were cliques that I couldn't break into.  It is easy to see myself being a member that disappears and comes back only when needed because of this.  Btw, this is NOT what I want.  Isolation is my number one enemy.  I'm hoping people make sure I'm still here and okay.  I'm just giving an idea of what may be in the heads of those that are a bit quieter.

Bari Jo

[steph2.0]

Interesting question.  I'm fairly new comparatively.  I can tell you that larger threads even by those I interact with are intimidating.  There is so much ribbing and comradere that has developed in them, it's easy to not read and not post, unless you need to.  It's almost like being in high school, there were cliques that I couldn't break into.  It is easy to see myself being a member that disappears and comes back only when needed because of this.  Btw, this is NOT what I want.  Isolation is my number one enemy.  I'm hoping people make sure I'm still here and okay.  I'm just giving an idea of what may be in the heads of those that are a bit quieter.

Bari Jo

Oh Bari Jo Bari Jo... you know you're always welcome in my house. No friends there, just family.

Seriously... I only officially joined back in July of last year, with a few months of lurking beforehand. I am still blown away by how articulate, intelligent, helpful, and compassionate all the "old timers" here are. I'm so happy that as a relative newbie I've been welcomed in so warmly. Its why I, even with as little experience as I have, try to pay it forward to people who've come after me. I still have a long long way to go, but even when I get to where I want to be, I can't imagine leaving you all behind. You really have become like a family to me. Thank you all!


- Stephanie

[HappyMoni]

Interesting question.  I'm fairly new comparatively.  I can tell you that larger threads even by those I interact with are intimidating.  There is so much ribbing and comradere that has developed in them, it's easy to not read and not post, unless you need to.  It's almost like being in high school, there were cliques that I couldn't break into.  It is easy to see myself being a member that disappears and comes back only when needed because of this.  Btw, this is NOT what I want.  Isolation is my number one enemy.  I'm hoping people make sure I'm still here and okay.  I'm just giving an idea of what may be in the heads of those that are a bit quieter.

Bari Jo

Bari Jo, for me it is not at all wanting to exclude anyone (well...besides Devlyn who always has her mind in the gutter), but more a matter of time. I run out of time to communicate to people as I would like to. If you put yourself out there, as I have seen you do, and try to help others, you will never be isolated. As for comradere, I'll joke around with anybody. I'll do that in a welcome text and I know they have got to be saying, "What's wrong with this old bird?" Haven't come up with an answer for that yet. Well if you ever feel isolated, look me up. I will chat you up.
Moni

[Roll]

Interesting question.  I'm fairly new comparatively.  I can tell you that larger threads even by those I interact with are intimidating.  There is so much ribbing and comradere that has developed in them, it's easy to not read and not post, unless you need to.  It's almost like being in high school, there were cliques that I couldn't break into.  It is easy to see myself being a member that disappears and comes back only when needed because of this.  Btw, this is NOT what I want.  Isolation is my number one enemy.  I'm hoping people make sure I'm still here and okay.  I'm just giving an idea of what may be in the heads of those that are a bit quieter.

Bari Jo

"Come into my parlor", said the spider to the fly. .................. Wait, that was more serial killery than I intended it to sound. I just meant you should totally post in my thread and stuff all the time forever, ITS A FREE FOR ALL OF INSANITY. Or was until I started getting depressing. Now it's more like a ITS A FREE FOR ALL OF "IT'LL BE OKAY, HON". (... Because in my mind, everyone talks like a waffle house waitress.) Jesus, what is wrong with me?

[Bari Jo]

Thanks for the support everybody.  You are all important to me.

Bari Jo

[SadieBlake]

Ultimately to me community is physical, not online. I left Susan's something like '02 and the reason was a combination of I wasn't going to transition so there was nothing I needed and  trans women of different stripes failed to give each other basic respect. I'm already drifting away now because to me this site is very much about the transition process which involves a lot of churn and once I finish transition my community goes back to being women, lesbians, leather queers. The thing these communities tend to have in common is they understand and operate on consensus.

I'm really glad about the people I've met and come to care for here and keeping in touch will be good if it happens, however it will be less and less involving susans.org.

I hope I can keep in touch with the Susan's class of '17, realistically however many of them have already moved on and I don't think that's a bad thing. We come together to get through this awful wonderful process and on the back side we continue on with out lives.

[Hikari]

I have been here since 2010, I am still around, but you won't finding me post much, mostly because I have had some pretty frustrating situations here, been banned randomly, got my blog deleted, been called a tyrant for being okay with WPATH, etc. I have found it is just much easier to lurk, and rarely talk due to that, no reason to get stressed out over a website.