So the sleep positions thread got me thinking about a few things. I used to have issues sleeping, and I think it's because I was in the closet. One reason why I used to drink every night is because if I didn't drink then I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't sleep because of what's been in the back of my head for a very long time. I swear there were times where I would wake up mid thought and there was a voice inside me saying "I want to be a girl", and sometimes I feel like I was yelling at myself in my sleep. My dad told me I've talked in my sleep since I was young, and I know I sleepwalked a few times over the years but it got worse over time.
I used to work out of town a lot so one sunday I packed up my suitcase and then in the middle of the night I woke up and didn't see my alarm clock. I got up and turned on the light and it was unplugged and wrapped up and sitting on top of my suitcase. Another time I woke up and couldn't find my phone. I got up to look and it was in the living room on a table I never use. One time I got up and couldn't find the remote for my TV. the next morning my mom told me that I got up shortly after I went to bed and walked out into the livingroom and threw it at her and yelled "Here's the clicker!" and then I walked off into the bathroom. One time in a hotel I woke up in the middle of sleepwalking, I found myself about to take a painting down off the wall. a couple years ago when I stayed with my dad in a hotel for work he said I would talk a lot in my sleep (one night he said it sounded like I was talking to a dog, and I definitely had a dream that night about my old dog paying me a visit), and I guess my sister's boyfriend said he's heard me actually yelling in my sleep before too.
Then about a year ago it stopped. I did stop drinking, but then a month later I started coming out to some friends and that really started to ease my mind, so I don't know which it was that cured me, but I'm almost leaning towards the sobriety lol. It's so weird though, I feel like I did actually used to try and tell myself stuff in my sleep, it's almost feels like I was being possessed, and now that I'm on my journey to being a woman I've been exorcised! I swear, the night I came out to my first friend I went to bed and an hour later I woke up and it looked like there was a mist floating around my room, almost like something bad was leaving me and I was being relieved. I'm not a spiritual person at all really, so I found this interesting.
Has anyone else had any issues like this before? Do you think it was trans related? Someone tell me I'm not crazy!
