Possible move to Texas

[LilyRobinson241092]

Hey,
So I'll start off by saying I live in the UK and back in high school I was in a long distance relationship with a lass who lives in San Antonio, Texas. We were together nearly 11 months but during my GCSEs she split up with me due to distance. We broke up on fairly good terms though and have remained very close friends since the break up. She was also the first person who dated me as Lily. Well I hadn't transitioned at the time but I had come out and she loved me for me.

Anyway, I'm 25 now and last week we were talking and she seemed a little down and I asked her what was up. She said she was an idiot for breaking up with me and everything has gone downhill since then. I misinterpreted this as her wanting to get back together but turns out that wasn't what she meant. However we did start discussing our relationship and what it would take for us to get back together. She's really close to her family and doesn't feel like she could leave Texas, so one of the conditions is that eventually I'd have to move there if we were to get back together (not necessarily first, but I have to be willing to move there).

I'll have to say Texas isn't my first choice for a home but it has been something I have been open to the idea of if it gets me back with my ex. Kinda a high school sweetheart situation I guess.

So if this were to happen, it would be quite a way into the future but I still like to do my research, especially for a place such as Texas where I imagine trans healthcare isn't as easily accessible.

Good news is, aside from wanting facial feminisation surgery, I am at the end of my medical transition. Birth certificate says female and my new name, had my surgery, been discharged from my gender identity clinic. If I were to move to Texas I'd pretty much just need to find an endocrinologist in the region for prescribing me my hormones. Which one of my questions is do any of you know of any endocrinologists in the San Antonio area who are trans friendly?

Also, I've never really had experience with moving countries, so if I were to move does anyone know what I'd need and how easy it would be to get all my medications from a new doctor in the States?

I mean really my large concerns here are the medical side. I know with a place like Texas I am in for a world of crap. I mean presently my profession has me working within high schools, something I know will be a pain in the neck to find a job in, in a place like Texas. That however is a bridge I am willing to cross when I get to it. The thing I am certain of though, is without my hormones facing those problems will be near impossible for me due to the impact it will have on my mental health.

Also this may never happen, but I'd like to do my research in advance so if the opportunity arises for me and my ex getting back together, I can say I am all in with no reservations.

[sarah1972]

Interesting situation. 13 years ago, I did move from Germany to the US - however it was work related.

The most important part is to get an appropriate Visa. Outside for the so called "Green Card Lottery" there are basically two options: A work related visa or a relationship based visa - in your case most likely a "finance" based visa. You have to be engaged and pretty much show evidence of your relationship. There is also a very close timeframe to actually get married (I think it is 6 month after you enter the US).

If you have a visa, the next step is to find a place to live. On an finance visa, it would be expected you live with your partner. After marriage, this can be converted into a permanent resident visa. You will have to check but as far as I recall from a friend, you are not allowed to work in the US while you are on a finance visa. You could technically visit her on a tourist visa a few times and get married during one of those trips and then immediately apply for permanent residency. If you can, I would recommend using an attorney to sort out the Visa stuff.

Moving itself is somewhat easy and does depend a little bit on how much you plan to take into the US. With a valid address and visa you are allowed to bring in "used" items. We ended up shipping a full 20 ft container with all of our stuff. But you can also check with freight forwarders for a partial container or add on if you are planning to take more than a suitcase full of stuff. We also ended up paying for two suitcases extra when flying over so we have at least some basics. Everything "used" as part of a move does not incur any tariffs (at least that was 13 years ago). You have to be in the country before the goods arrive and you have to provide a detailed declaration of what you are shipping.

Our container from Berlin to the East Coast took about weeks to arrive. Besides one broken picture frame absolutely no damage. Did we take too much? Yeah, we still have a few un-opened boxes from back then...

San Antonio itself may be the most liberal and bustling city in Texas right now. A lot of high tech and a really good job market. I would assume that there is appropriate health care.

One word of caution: you both need to be very sure about the future of your relationship. You pretty much have to stay married for 5 or more years, otherwise you would lose your permanent resident status and would have to either have a job which sponsors you or you would have to leave. I once almost moved to Taipei for a women and was pretty much ready to fly over for interviews when I got a message she had found someone else. So this is a big step.


Good luck and I hope it works out!

Sarah

Hey,
So I'll start off by saying I live in the UK and back in high school I was in a long distance relationship with a lass who lives in San Antonio, Texas. We were together nearly 11 months but during my GCSEs she split up with me due to distance. We broke up on fairly good terms though and have remained very close friends since the break up. She was also the first person who dated me as Lily. Well I hadn't transitioned at the time but I had come out and she loved me for me.

Anyway, I'm 25 now and last week we were talking and she seemed a little down and I asked her what was up. She said she was an idiot for breaking up with me and everything has gone downhill since then. I misinterpreted this as her wanting to get back together but turns out that wasn't what she meant. However we did start discussing our relationship and what it would take for us to get back together. She's really close to her family and doesn't feel like she could leave Texas, so one of the conditions is that eventually I'd have to move there if we were to get back together (not necessarily first, but I have to be willing to move there).

I'll have to say Texas isn't my first choice for a home but it has been something I have been open to the idea of if it gets me back with my ex. Kinda a high school sweetheart situation I guess.

So if this were to happen, it would be quite a way into the future but I still like to do my research, especially for a place such as Texas where I imagine trans healthcare isn't as easily accessible.

Good news is, aside from wanting facial feminisation surgery, I am at the end of my medical transition. Birth certificate says female and my new name, had my surgery, been discharged from my gender identity clinic. If I were to move to Texas I'd pretty much just need to find an endocrinologist in the region for prescribing me my hormones. Which one of my questions is do any of you know of any endocrinologists in the San Antonio area who are trans friendly?

Also, I've never really had experience with moving countries, so if I were to move does anyone know what I'd need and how easy it would be to get all my medications from a new doctor in the States?

I mean really my large concerns here are the medical side. I know with a place like Texas I am in for a world of crap. I mean presently my profession has me working within high schools, something I know will be a pain in the neck to find a job in, in a place like Texas. That however is a bridge I am willing to cross when I get to it. The thing I am certain of though, is without my hormones facing those problems will be near impossible for me due to the impact it will have on my mental health.

Also this may never happen, but I'd like to do my research in advance so if the opportunity arises for me and my ex getting back together, I can say I am all in with no reservations.

[LilyRobinson241092]

Hi Sarah,
Thanks for your answer. I am quite up to date in the immigration side of things (90 days on fiancé visa to get married btw), it is largely the medical side that i am concerned about. Making sure I can continue to gets my meds easily while there.

As for job market, regardless of having a good job market, Texas has legislation in place similar to the UK's past legislation Section 28 and they were trying to put in a bill last year that forces teachers to our students to their parents. So my profession will be hard for me to get a job in, in Texas. Regardless of how liberal San Antonio is. But I am willing to face the job issue when I reach it. Medical side worries me most.

[sarah1972]

Ha, yeah my knowledge about immigration stuff may be a bit outdated... especially since I have always been on work Visa.

Anyways, for health care: Planned Parenthood offers TG health services: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-south-texas/patients/hormone-therapy

Also: there is a FB Group for San Antonio you could join to ask around: https://m.facebook.com/SanAntonioGenderAssociation/

Not sure how the transfer worked since I did not start until last year but having all letters / papers may help...

https://m.facebook.com/SanAntonioGenderAssociation/

[elkie-t]

a) I wouldn't move back to the person who broke up with me and is desperate to get back. What is done is done, move on.

b) People live in Texas... you'll be ok too. It's not as back as you might imagine.

c) moving from UK to US shouldn't be too difficult. But why leave your country if it's fairly good? I mean US is a good one, but there are many quirks to it that make Americans proud to be Americans and not English. If you don't like those quirks, maybe you should stay on your side of the pond. Even if you'd love to move, Canada and Australia are much closer in spirit to UK than USA.


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[LilyRobinson241092]

Hey Elkie, my ex split up with me for good reason at the time and she isn't desperate to get back with me, we were just discussing our relationship and the potential of it happening again in the future.

I'm not really looking to leave the U.K. either, it is just something I would consider for my ex.

And I'm not under the impression Texas is backwards but I am aware that states such as Texas from having friends in the states can be scarce for resources that support trans individuals, healhcare for example. And as mentioned in one of my earlier comments, I work in secondary schools and in Texas there are some rather anti-LGBT pieces of legislation in effect when it comes to working in that profession.

[LilyRobinson241092]

Thank you for the information Sarah

[elkie-t]

Any bigger metropolitan area should be ok, both in terms of schools and lgbt acceptance. Rural areas might be more conservative / anti-trans.

Although, if your birth certificate is changed and you're generally passable, you shouldn't have more difficulties in Texas than any cis-female would. As long as you don't disclose your trans-status and act gender and age appropriately and stay out of trouble.

I drove once through northern Texas en femme (along Route 66), no issues, friendly and polite people, totally accepting non-cis me.


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[LilyRobinson241092]

That would be my big problem when it comes to my profession. I do not pass. Not to mention there is a law the Republicans in Texas tried to pass (not sure on its progress) that could leave me in a moral dilemma. Basically there is a bill on the table that would require teachers under threat of disciplinary action to out a student to their parents, if a teacher should happen to acquire that information.

I mean, I shouldn't be moving there for a while if I do and maybe things will have improved, but laws like this can't help but make me concerned.

[Toni]

Hi, I live in the Hill Country NW of San Antonio.  While, in general, large public places in SA are plenty safe, I'm full time and usually get the benefit of a doubt as far as passing, Texas is a very constricted and polarized state regarding any gender policies.  You can run into serious problems if your ID and anatomy don't match and will never find a teaching position here and would likely touch off a firestorm if you tried. State law has no process for correcting gender marker, instead leaving the decision up to local judges, 90% of whom will not allow (chances are much better after srs). I have had to go to Austin for my hormones, there are several good clinics and informed consent is all you need to establish where I go.  Austin is WAY better than SA, I may be moving there.  Love to see you come over, but the US is on a backward swing and there are lots of better choices than Texas.  Best of luck to you in any case.  Toni

[Cassi]

Hi, I live in the Hill Country NW of San Antonio.  While, in general, large public places in SA are plenty safe, I'm full time and usually get the benefit of a doubt as far as passing, Texas is a very constricted and polarized state regarding any gender policies.  You can run into serious problems if your ID and anatomy don't match and will never find a teaching position here and would likely touch off a firestorm if you tried. State law has no process for correcting gender marker, instead leaving the decision up to local judges, 90% of whom will not allow (chances are much better after srs). I have had to go to Austin for my hormones, there are several good clinics and informed consent is all you need to establish where I go.  Austin is WAY better than SA, I may be moving there.  Love to see you come over, but the US is on a backward swing and there are lots of better choices than Texas.  Best of luck to you in any case.  Toni

Liked the Riverwalk in San Antonio and the Alamo even if it was smaller in person .  Lived southeast of Houston for four years up until last October.  So nice to get away from the humudity

[Toni]

Hi Cassie, yeah, hard to believe anyone would think the Alamo was really defensible once you've seen it for real.  Can't believe they hung on for as long as they did, might have actually repulsed Santa Ana if reinforcements had come.  Houston and humidity have been synonymous for a long time, last few summers of huge rain and, of course, the hurricane, just did it in.  Did you stay in Texas, or find a more comfortable place?  Toni

[Cassi]

Hi Cassie, yeah, hard to believe anyone would think the Alamo was really defensible once you've seen it for real.  Can't believe they hung on for as long as they did, might have actually repulsed Santa Ana if reinforcements had come.  Houston and humidity have been synonymous for a long time, last few summers of huge rain and, of course, the hurricane, just did it in.  Did you stay in Texas, or find a more comfortable place?  Toni

I had moved to Texas to be near the grandkids but things got bad when my son got divorced.  I initially lived in Southeast Houston for my first year and then Pasadena for 3 years.  The humidity and the mosquitos are the pits.  I can handle dry hot weather but 75-80 degree high humidity weather zapped me.

I moved to Vegas and share a place with my daughter now.  I do miss $2/Pound bacon and 99 Cent dozen jumbo eggs