Jessica's Rose Garden

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica_Rose
Dear Jessica:
I am touched by your care and attention that you are providing for your Father in his
time of medical and old age needs.

Please keep your updates coming and know that there are members here that are praying
not only for your Father but also for you as the caregiver.

HUGS and lots more HUGS.... and prayers and warm wishes.
Danielle

My dad is out of surgery, the procedure took about six hours. I don't know many details yet, but they did need to sever his facial nerve. Apparently, that has quite a few side effects. One is that his right eyelid may not close all the way, so they implant a small gold weight into the eyelid to help it close more tightly.

While my dad was in surgery, I drove his car to Advance Auto to get a new battery. He was having trouble lately with a weak battery, so I decided to get a new one for him. One the way back to his house, I stopped off at Walmart to get some groceries. As I loaded them into the car, I discovered a carton of eggs in the back seat. Who knows how long they had been there. I dropped them into a nearby garbage can.

It sounds like my dad may have some additional health issues, and the pathology report on his tumor was 'not optimistic'. I plan to see my sister-in-law tomorrow, and hopefully she can provide more information.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Gina P]

Jessica, It can be so tough, and sometimes stressful, helping elderly parents. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and your dad must be so happy to have you to help. I hope he is well and all works out.
Big Hug Gina

[Jessica_Rose]

I want to thank everyone for their comments, they are all appreciated.

I wasn't able to visit my sister-in-law yesterday, but I should be able to see her this afternoon. There haven't been any updates, which can also be considered 'good news'.

Susan told me that our daughter in Wisconsin was involved in a motorcycle accident. A young driver ran into her in a parking lot. Our daughter is OK, but her Honda PCX was totaled. She was wearing a vest with air bags, and they were triggered by the accident. All of her riding gear was damaged as well, so she plans to buy even better riding gear now! She wasn't too upset about her bike. She has another (newer, bigger) one, and was planning to sell the PCX soon.

Yesterday, I fixed my dad's mailbox. He put some steel plating around it several years ago after a few rounds of vandalism. Although the steel housing was firmly attached to the post, the mailbox was simply sitting loose inside the housing. I added some three-inch screws to lock it down.

Last night, I replaced a florescent light fixture in one of my dad's bathrooms. It hasn't worked for decades, and it doesn't appear to have been installed correctly (no junction box). It took much longer than expected, but the new LED strip light works great. There is another florescent fixture in the same bathroom which doesn't work, and I hope to replace that one within the next few days.

Love always -- Jess

[Jessica_K]

All that must be so worrying for you dear friend. I too will say a prayer for you both. Stay strong and positive.
Love and hugs to you both too.

Jessica
Xxxx

[Jessica_Rose]

Thanks, Jessica_K !!!

On Thursday, I accepted my sister-in-law's offer to take a shower at their house. That was really nice. All my brother wanted to talk about was Zener diodes and exceptionally accurate test equipment. Eventually my SIL rescued me, and I took her out to dinner at Olive Garden. SIL had not eaten at Olive Garden in years, because my brother doesn't like pasta.

We had a good conversation over dinner. Although my dad may be released from the hospital soon, he won't be able to stay by himself for a while. It may take him several weeks to recover from the 'brain fog' anesthesia can cause. We definitely don't want him to drive until he fully recovers. The doctors are concerned about his long-term prognosis. They did get most or all of the tumor, but they suspect the cancer has already spread. I plan to visit him today, and hopefully learn a bit more.

Over the last few days, I did some additional chores. My dad had mentioned moving the firewood from the porch back to the woodshed, so that's done. I also replaced the other balky florescent light fixture in the bathroom. Although it went much quicker than the first one, I cursed the sadist who mounted the fixture using three-inch long flathead screws in a deeply recessed overhead enclosure. For the first time in decades, both lights above the bathroom sink work. I also cleaned the outside of the refrigerator. I was surprised to discover it is white.

Depending on what I learn today, I may make a quick trip home within the next day or two. I could use some fresh clothes, and there's probably a few things I need to take care of at our house, like Susan.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Moonflower]

The doctors are concerned about his long-term prognosis.

😔🙏🏻💖🫂
May you continue to vividly visualize best-case scenarios and possibilities!

My dad had mentioned moving the firewood from the porch back to the woodshed, so that's done. I also replaced the other balky florescent light fixture in the bathroom.

I hope my kids will grow up to be just like you. So far, we've been independent,  but some day...

[Jessica_Rose]

😔🙏🏻💖🫂
I hope my kids will grow up to be just like you. So far, we've been independent,  but some day...

Thanks for the compliment, Moonflower. I'm not sure I have earned it, but I try to be helpful. However, I don't wish size 13 feet on anyone.

I am home right now, but only for a little while. My sister-in-law ('K') brought my dad home from the hospital Saturday afternoon, and she volunteered to stay with him Saturday night so I could go home for a little while. My dad was very weak and unstable. He could barely walk, and he refuses assistance. They sent him home with a catheter.

The text messages began at 4:40am this morning (Sunday). My dad got out of bed sometime during the night, and K found him on the floor in the living room. She tried contacting her family for help, but no one answered. She called my dad's neighbor ('C'), and she was able to come over. Eventually, they were able to get my dad off the floor and into a chair, and he soon fell asleep again. He doesn't appear to be injured, but 'he doesn't make sense' when he talks. K thinks he may have had a TIA, and my dad has a history of them. They sent him home way too soon.

Susan and I plan on returning to my dad's house this afternoon, but I'm not sure if we will be able to handle his needs. I think we're going to need help some help.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[LoriDee]

That is rough. Is there insurance that might cover a hospice stay to give him more time to recover? Or maybe a Home Health nurse who can help out?

[Moonflower]

I don't wish size 13 feet on anyone.

My cis-woman's feet are size 11 men's. Sometimes I can fit in 12 women's. My mother said that they give us a good base. You clearly have a good base in many ways.

They sent him home way too soon...

I think we're going to need some help.

 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[Jessica_Rose]

My dad is back in the hospital for at least one night. He is dehydrated and has a UTI. They also discovered the catheter was inserted too deeply. I know they ran some other tests as well, but that's all the information I have at this time.

Susan and I (mainly Susan) have been doing more cleanup in the house. We found a lot of outdated food, some expired 20 years ago. A bag of canned goods in the pantry is stuck to the floor, at least one of the cans exploded a long time ago. How about a jar of mayonnaise that has gelled? The list is quite long, but you get the idea. The raccoons really like the Cheddar Chex Mix from Nov 2021, and the BelVita Cinnamon Brown Sugar breakfast biscuits from June of 2023 are also a favorite.

We don't have a long-term solution, right now it's just day-by-day.

Love always -- Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica_Rose    cc: @Susan_Rose
Dear Jessica:
The time that you now spend with your dad at this point in is life is precious.... 
continue taking care of him as you have been ....  your reward is knowing that
you are there for him and the satisfaction of being the best daughter you can be...
Many HUGS,   
Danielle    ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

[davina61]

My mum has about 3 of everything, more cans than the village shop just in case!! No need as we shop every week and if she cant drive I will take her, at least she puts the date in felt tip on the top of the tins so she uses the oldest. Thinking of you in your time of need XXXX

[Jessica_K]

Sorry I only caught up today. So sorry to hear that your dad is back in hospital but best place. You said before that you were surprised that he had been released so quickly.

Sending you love, thoughts and a prayer, sister.

Big hugs jess,

Jessica xxx

[Jessica_Rose]

Susan and I are home now, but it has been a long week with little sleep. My dad is still in the hospital.  He is doing better, but he's still very weak. He needs a walker, and he isn't eating much. He may be released early next week. We hope to send him directly into a rehab facility.

The day after he was readmitted to the hospital, we really weren't sure if he was going to survive. Since we also still needed to get his taxes filed, we (Susan, myself, my brother, and his wife) decided to review my dad's bank accounts and legal paperwork. My brother is on one of my dad's checking accounts, so he will be able to write checks to cover any bills or tax payments. We also discovered that a 'friend' of his, my dad's 'yard man', has been taking advantage of him. Over $10,000 of checks in February alone. Luckily, this has now stopped. My dad does not have a phone or checkbook in the hospital, and the 'yard man' has no way to contact him. We know who he is, but recovery of any funds is unlikely. For now, we have stopped the bleeding. Luckily, this will not have a long-term financial effect on my dad.

I did a few more repairs and upgrades around the house. There has never been a light fixture in the garage, so I installed a light strip on the garage ceiling. The lock on one of the exterior doors wasn't working properly. Even when locked, some judicious jiggling of the doorknob would unlock the door. I found a new locking doorknob that has a 'smart key' which allows simplified re-keying, so we can use the 'old' key. Unfortunately, the doorknob required a larger mounting hole. Fortunately, I had a few new tools with me -- including a battery-powered dremel tool! It took a few hours to get it installed and properly aligned, but it works perfectly. I also repaired an outdoor light fixture, added a few nightlights in the main hallway, and cleaned a few decades' worth of debris from inside some ceiling light fixtures. We cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed the carpet before we left.

My dad is slowly getting better, but it may be several months before he can be on his own. One of his neighbors volunteered to mow his lawn and check the mail. My brother and his wife will make regular visits to the house, and Susan and I will visit as often as possible.

My thanks to all of you for you comments and caring thoughts.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[ChrissyRyan]

Keep your spirits and energy up Jess.  I hope you dad improves, and that things go well for all of you.

Christine

[Jessica_Rose]

Thanks Christine!

A year or so ago, I encountered a new girl while shopping in Target. By that, I mean someone who had just started her journey. I don't usually approach other unicorns in public places, but I thought she could use a hug. We talked for a few minutes and I gave her my email. I never heard from her again.

Today I was in Walmart, and saw a familiar face -- it was her! She has been doing well, and HRT has been kind to her. Unfortunately, not too long ago she was confronted at a gas station. The person then followed her to another store, so she called the police. I think she mentioned that a restraining order is now in place. It's a shame that some people must lash out at others, instead of confronting their own fears.

I mentioned that I had been thinking about her, and she said she had lost my contact information. This time around, we exchanged texts. Now I can check up on her occasionally, and maybe even give her a hug when she needs one.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[ChrissyRyan]

Thanks Christine!

A year or so ago, I encountered a new girl while shopping in Target. By that, I mean someone who had just started her journey. I don't usually approach other unicorns in public places, but I thought she could use a hug. We talked for a few minutes and I gave her my email. I never heard from her again.

Today I was in Walmart, and saw a familiar face -- it was her! She has been doing well, and HRT has been kind to her. Unfortunately, not too long ago she was confronted at a gas station. The person then followed her to another store, so she called the police. I think she mentioned that a restraining order is now in place. It's a shame that some people must lash out at others, instead of confronting their own fears.

I mentioned that I had been thinking about her, and she said she had lost my contact information. This time around, we exchanged texts. Now I can check up on her occasionally, and maybe even give her a hug when she needs one.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Some people are mean and evil.  It is nice that there are so many nice people like you around.

Christine

[REM.1126]

Sometimes, a hug from someone who genuinely cares about you is the best possible remedy.

[Jessica_Rose]

Susan and I spent the weekend at my dad's house again. This time, Susan did most of the work. She did a lot of cleanup in the pantry, and started clearing outdated food from one of the refrigerators. The oldest food she found expired in 2002. We also replaced the countertop microwave. Someone let the smoke out of the old one, and it wasn't working right anymore.  Apparently my dad has finally realized the 'yard man' is not his friend. Although recovery of any money is unlikely, my dad doesn't plan on giving him any more.

My dad is now in a rehab facility. I bought a portable stereo for him so he can listen to his favorite music. He seems to like it. He says the staff is nicer and the food is much better, but he still isn't eating much. Supper on Saturday was rice, squash, and a summer sausage (no bun). He ate 3 - 4 small bites of sausage and drank an Ensure. When we visited Sunday, he said lunch wasn't very good. He ate one windmill cookie and had another Ensure for lunch. He recognizes everyone and can carry on short conversations, but I haven't seen him out of bed in two weeks. He thinks he'll be going home by mid-April. A positive mindset is great, but we believe he is overly optimistic. We don't think he could handle chemo, and radiation therapy may be of little use. It may be time to start having distant friends and relatives visit.

On a positive note, hummingbirds are here!

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica_Rose
Dear Jessica: 
I am reading your update as Good News except for your dad's ability to
handle chemo considering his present health.

Having him in a rehab facility is good for him and gives you more peace of mind
regarding his day to day help and care that he receives, and meals that are available.

It might be good to have a nearby neighbor or friend check on his home from time
to time...and help keeping it looking like someone lives there.... you do not want
to have to deal with squatters or break-ins.

You might wish to continue to followup on the Yard Man that had been taking monetary
advantage of your dad.... the yard man needs to be "history"

And, who knows, the "human will" to survive and heal is a very powerful thing so your
dad going back home could be possible, but at the very least your dad needs that hope
so that he can continue living with that possibility.
        "Hope Springs Eternal"

I have your dad, you and the family members (confidentially) on my church prayer list...
... definitely this entire situation is in my prayers and thoughts.
Many HUGS,
Danielle