Hiya,
First things first, you my lady, need a (hug).
Maybe you could try finding a local LGBTQA centre, and see if there is local counselling that can help out - they will be a receptive audience, and will understand the struggles that you're having. Even if you feel that you can't summon up the ability to say the words, you can go in prepared with a postcard or something similar. Simply having it written down can do tremendous things to self confidence

As a species we are wired to see the obvious, and less are wired to be able to grasp more abstract ideas, or be able to empathetically relate to someone who has a different perspective to their own.
But that doesn't matter so much now, that you've found home.
Rowan