Fear of being wrong

[Littlethings]

I actually see a future for me, before all of this even at the best of times I could not see myself living for long, year by year I promised to carry on just one more.  I contemplated suicide, I felt so distraught and I did not know why.  Now after finding the path towards rectifying things, I feel much better, but I am scared that I am wrong that this is all a lie. Because in my gut I feel that if it is,  I could not survive that.
Has anyone else had this fear?

[Jessica]

I think most of us had doubt at a number of points in our life and transition.  I had my own WTF moments about every 3 weeks in the beginning of my hormone treatment.  The farther down the path I went though, I became more comfortable with every step.  It would be in your best interest to seek out a gender therapist and find your truth.  It is wonderful and enlightening to be able to talk face to face with someone that understands.

[Christy Lee]

I think in part, it was this fear stopped me from doing it when i was a teenager but for me it feels like that was the wrong course of action now, because it feels like ive been in hell since deciding not to transition and it only seems to get worse i found that nagging doesnt go away

Then you start to wonder if your just crazy... if you would be un happy anyway, still feels like a barrier for me



When i go to tell my mother its what i hear her saying back to me

[Devlyn]

I've been wrong about so many things in life it's a wonder I made it. But I've been here 56 years now. 

If your life filters allowed you to have these feelings, find this place, and make this post, there's a very slim chance you're making a mistake.

If you get to the point of bodily changes and realize it isn't for you, that's when you say "This is a mistake." and you reverse course and learn from your mistake.

It's nothing to be afraid of, you're going to make mistakes occasionally. But I'm betting this isn't one of them. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Cassi]

I've been wrong about so many things in life it's a wonder I made it. But I've been here 56 years now. 

If your life filters allowed you to have these feelings, find this place, and make this post, there's a very slim chance you're making a mistake.

If you get to the point of bodily changes and realize it isn't for you, that's when you say "This is a mistake." and you reverse course and learn from your mistake.

It's nothing to be afraid of, you're going to make mistakes occasionally. But I'm betting this isn't one of them. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Making mistakes is the best way to learn.

[Devlyn]

Then I'm a Harvard grad! 

[Kylo]

I don't have this fear, but that's because I observed myself in life as if I was watching another person, at the same time as I've been living life. I got to know exactly what my habits and tendencies are outside of my conscious thinking, how I end up reacting to stuff and the usual patterns of my own behavior.

By now I think I've had long enough to see that some things are never going to change - they are permanent problems. Things like genital dysphoria, sexual dysphoria, avoidant habits... I've tried different ways of climbing over them and come back to the same conclusion. They're ingrained and beyond my control and I definitely, absolutely, have a complex in there somewhere relating to gender of the body vs the mind. The only possible chance of fixing them is to transition. I'm aware too that transition also may not fix them, or might only go some of the way to helping. But I've had enough time to be ready for that.

Just like everyone else I had moments when I wondered if my mind was lying to me.

But then even if it was, my life as a female was completely miserable. I'd rather take the chance and see.

And well, if it turns out not to be what you hoped what's the worst thing? You'd de-transition and go back? People have done that and turned out ok too.

If it's not obvious from my posts on here I also have a real nasty fear of being wrong. But there's enough cumulative evidence stacked in favor of transition to risk it now.

[bobbisue]

       I have had doubts about every major change in my life especially my transition,are you just hiding from being a man, maybe you are just queer, are you looking for attention are you crazy, you are going to ruin your marriage and many more such thoughts. In November I developed a DVT blood clot and have been off E since then I have been eagerly awaiting the approval of my Dr to resume HRT this experience has removed all doubts in my mind over my transitioning the doubt monster now has to settle on questioning every other choice I make as there is no room for doubt here any more
     Find a good therapist, create a part of your life where you can express yourself possibly going to a support group shopping where no one knows you then if this feels right try HRT none of these things are non reversable including HRT in the first few months if it still feels right you have your answer if it doesn't you still have your answer

     bobbiesue

[krobinson103]

Fear is normal with change. Something I learned a long time ago is that fear is simply your mind telling you to be careful of real or imagined dangers. The thing is some of those fear can become very powerful if you let them. I feel that facing them head on and just pushing through is the way forward. Its a philosophy I've  held for at least 30 years. The relief you feel when you find that that change was not impossible, and that the fear was mostly unfounded is worth the risk of 'failure'. In fact we learn from those things that don't work and become stronger.

[Cassi]

Fear is normal with change. Something I learned a long time ago is that fear is simply your mind telling you to be careful of real or imagined dangers. The thing is some of those fear can become very powerful if you let them. I feel that facing them head on and just pushing through is the way forward. Its a philosophy I've  held for at least 30 years. The relief you feel when you find that that change was not impossible, and that the fear was mostly unfounded is worth the risk of 'failure'. In fact we learn from those things that don't work and become stronger.

Well, I had to revised my old saying which is now "Ye thou I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for I'm the baddest *itch in the Valley!.  Not to be confused with the San Fernando Valley and Valley Gurls fer sure.

[Dena]

Whenever I questioned what I was doing, I would think back to my decision to transition. Because I was at the point of suicide, it's was clear that remaining as I was wasn't the solution. Going forward and transitioning was the only other option and that was the support I needed to continue with the path I was taking.

[Cassi]

Whenever I questioned what I was doing, I would think back to my decision to transition. Because I was at the point of suicide, it's was clear that remaining as I was wasn't the solution. Going forward and transitioning was the only other option and that was the support I needed to continue with the path I was taking.

I, for one, am glad that you chose life!

[CallMeKatie]

I've gone through long periods of time where I thought "what am I thinking?!" and I still get these occasionally even now.
What if I am wrong? Well I can stop taking the hormones and go back to being a balding hairy bloke.

It's okay to test the waters, see how you feel.
You don't have to go in tomorrow and have sexual organ surgery.
Take your time and learn about yourself.

It's really okay to do so