Worried: Bad time to come out bc of "trend"?

[Nbj]

Good evening.

So, today I had a long talk to my sister on the phone and at some point realized, that her generation, she's 14 (we're almost 10 years apart) is a lot more aware of the existence of transgender persons and that they seem to be regulary confronted with the topic via social media.
Now, I'm not saying that this is something bad. Aboslutely NOT! It's great because it gives the chance to build tolerance and acceptance outside of the family-area.

Nevertheless, I also begin to think that this great presence in social media is one reason for the "trans-trender(-shaming) phenomen" that's going on. So, today while talking to my sister, I got scared, really hella' scared, that with this rising peek of trans-awareness in youth culture, a coming out would be seen as "following the trend" and wouldn't be taken serious.

Now, my question i think is, do some of you think, it's a "bad time" to come out right now? Has somebody had similar thoughts?

Thanks for opinions



(I really hope I do not offend anybody with this text. Since english is not my native language it might happen that i accidantly insult people by using wrong grammar or vocabulary; if so, please let me know!)

[sarah1972]

Hi Jojo -

there are language forums too on this site :-) maybe you can find someone in your native language. I think you are doing great.

There have been a few discussions before about "trans-trender" (which I think is an interesting term). It may really look this way, however I do also think that the increased presence in media and social media may be over-rating the actual numbers. Some celebrity coming outs and the matching media attention as well as the dreaded Bathroom debate in the US has certainly led to a much higher awareness.

I could have known for almost 40 years, but only the most recent increase in public awareness made me realize what was wrong with me all my life. I know a few more trans* with similar experiences and "Oh that's what is going on" moments.

I actually think right now is a really good time to come out. There is enough public awareness that it actually does get a bit easier (depending on your location) and most people I met had a general concept how to treat a TG person. This does not mean you will not still face some raised eye brows or even find people not understanding what you are going through.

There are also many people on this site who started coming out and transition years ago, and comparing their stories with mine, I have to admit I would have not had the strength to go through with it.

What is really important for you is to think about yourself, this is important to you!

Good luck on your journey...

(Oh... and English is not my first language either )

[KathyLauren]

I found that I benefited from the increased awareness started by people like Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox.  True there is a bit of redneck reaction to the awareness, but for most people, it is a good thing.  I didn't have to do too much explaining to anyone.

I would not have felt safe coming out if it weren't for the better public awareness.  In fact, I probably wouldn't have figured myself out without it.

[HappyMoni]

JoJo,
   Even without the higher public profile, when you come out, sometimes people think you are going through a phase or are confused or deluded. If you stay true to who you are, people will start to realize that you are dealing with something that is just part of you. I wouldn't worry about it. Not to be disrespectful but don't look for reasons not to do what is right for  you. You can always find reasons to stop progress but if you stop progress maybe you are stopping yourself from being happy with yourself.
Moni

[flightlessbird]

I came out a bit before the trans* community became more widely recognized at large, and while I do understand some of your hesitation, I'd be reluctant to let that alone be a deterrent. Ask yourself whether you think it's worth potentially regretting losing more time of your life that you could have been living as yourself. Also, we can't know what the future climate will be like. It could be better, or it could be worse.

Of course if there are other independent constraints on you and this just helps tip your decision one way or another that's a much more complicated matter. No matter what you decide is best for you I wish you best of luck!

[Roll]

I think you approach coming out sincerely, people see that. I think that most rational people understand the difference between someone following a trend and someone who is simply being true to themselves. At 24 (math assumption!), you are a bit older than the "trend" crowd anyway, so no one will probably assume that. I think the association there is more high school and (traditional) college age.

[Nbj]

Ahh crap, now I'm almost in tears because so happy I found you guys here. (talking about the whole community). I honestly wouldn't have expected that much positivity ...don't get me wrong, it'S not that I did NOT think of you as nice, open minded and honest people! But I until now I have barely had contact with people like that in regards on this topic.

Not to be disrespectful but don't look for reasons not to do what is right for  you. You can always find reasons to stop progress but if you stop progress maybe you are stopping yourself from being happy with yourself.
Moni

I am afraid Moni, you hit the nail's head here. Thinking about it, that actually sounds a lot like me. And it is not disrespectful at all, I appreciate it. You rather pointed out some hindering inner barrier of mine here. Thank you for that.

Maybe... maybe these worries came up, because few days ago I came to the conclusion that i probably really want to transition... and on that, some part got defensive and  came up with this...
Who knows...

Anyway, I'm rambling now ^^

Just THANK YOU ALL you helped a lot.

Wish you a nice weekend!

[Dena]

  Unlocking topic -  Remember when discussing this topic that you must avoid bashing when discussing reasons why a transition may be difficult.   

[Nbj]

Unlocking topic -  Remember when discussing this topic that you must avoid bashing when discussing reasons why a transition may be difficult.   

Since I'm new here i hope it's ok to ask, but "What HAPPENED here?" what's locking and unlocking? Totally confused right now. Also, if i did something wrong, could please explain, so that i can avoid it in the future.

[Dena]

The thread had an issue with a TOS violation. The thread has been cleaned up and the member(s) informed of the violation. Had you committed a violation, you would have received a PM or found yourself banned from the site depending on the nature of the violation.

Sometimes the nature of the violation is such that we need staff agreement or at least the thread locked to keep the problem from getting worst. We lock the thread, make our decision, take action and if we feel the thread can continue without problems, we unlock the thread.

Most of the time our corrective action remains invisible to the site members. We don't wish to embarrass or make examples of our members so corrective action takes place between staff and the member(s) so discussion of the exact violation is not discussed in public. In this case, my warning indicates bashing. We don't permit discussions that are name calling and not related to the facts of the issue. We require people maintain a polite attitude not only to our members and community but to our enemies as well.

[Sno]

Nbj,

Your English is fine, so please don't worry. This is your journey, and whilst being considerate to others feelings is ok, at some point you'll need to express your own.

You will know who, what and when to disclose, and you'll handle it like a star


Rowan