Feelings of dysphoria peaking..

[Rafaelle]

Honestly I am just writing this to just get it out of my system, I don't know if this is the right thread or not. Well today started fairly good, felt really masculine alpha kinda which was not bad, though that didn't last too long. I went to school and well my body dysphoria started and I started to feel uncomfortable and miserable, it was the most intense feeling I had in a while, like I was never going to be able to be a girl and that drives me crazy, so I survived those feelings but to top it up, I showed my Aunt a picture of me on faceapp and I said I would like to be like that though, and my Aunt as she is discret sometimes she decides to tell me, yeah Rafael, though this is the application and you don't look like a girl. Well thank you very much, that means a lot... That really put me in a really bad dysphoria mood and I am dreading my life right now. Everyone that read all of this, thank you for your patience to read all of it. And I'm sorry for the post but I needed to tell someone that understands me.

[BeckyCNJ]

Rafaelle,

While I'm much older than you I can totally relate to the reaction to the Face App. My profile photo is from that app and there's an even better one that I have on my phone. For me, when I first saw that picture it was like I was finally meeting this person I always imagined myself to be.

Just look at some of the before and after photos of girls who have transitioned and you'll see many were about as masculine as they come but today they are very feminine-looking women.

I just posted myself for the first time in awhile and it's nice knowing we have folks who understand.

Hugs,

Becky

[Allison S]

I do that on here too and it's okay. Have you gotten on hrt yet? Could be something to consider along with talk therapy (it's recommended this comes first actually).

I get wanting to share this with others and to hear reassuring words. My sister asked me upfront if I'm transgender and I didn't deny or disclose. She's since been weird and gendering me male every chance she gets even identifying me as male characters. I'm mtf by the way. Yes my sister has always been a strange one. I don't know how to read this, and honestly I don't care.

We just gotta focus on one thing at a time. Oh and when I feel overwhelmed, I do vent. It helps sometimes.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Denise]

I had a very similar experience.  I was convinced that I would never pass.  Then I realized it's attitude, mannerisms... That makes a person beautiful not the mirror.

I'm 56 started transition 28 months ago (15 months on estrogen).  Time for all the physical changes is the time you need for all the mental ones too. 

My advice is to embrace the journey.  Have fun.  Very few people in the world get this opportunity.



Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

[Rafaelle]

Denise, it's true that personality is the only thing that really matters, though sometimes I feel like even that isn't enough, people ask too much and have too many expectations of you that may never be accomplished, and that terrifies me, criticism terrifies me, even though I normally don't care about it, the only thing that hurts me is when someone says I'm something else and there is not much that I can do about it, and if you are not okay with their opinion then you're an egoist and have problems in the head. For the moment really it's an issue with myself and my incapacity of facing criticism about this matter. Also having fun is a little bit harder like this, because I always think I am deceiving myself as for the moment I can't show people who I truly am, I can't be who I really am with those people.

[Rafaelle]

Allison, thank you very much, I haven't been able to go to a therapist neither have hrt l, though that is bound to happen. It sure helps to speak with others that understand and are probably in the same situation as you, and even better if you have someone face to face. Well about family sometimes it's hard to accept criticism, because it's sometimes something that will hurt you more because it comes out of someone who you love, and when it's not constructive, then it's worse. Me to cope with it, I watch other people's videos because it helps for my dysphoria, it's awesome to watch how people change with hrt and gives you hope.

[Rafaelle]

Becky, yes I love this application, it's amazing, it is even better when they don't overly exaggerate with face changing, every time I look a photo, I feel like I could be like that, I see it, the changes are only on the hair, eyes and fat on the face.,though the bones don't change too much. It is a booster to my confidence.