I'm fed up need to be a full man

[lindawilli33]

  Hi, I'm fed up with living like this. A half man and a half woman in a single body. When I first realized that I'm a transman I was shocked. I thought of committing suicide. I felt like screaming out towards the world that I'm a man. I was getting attracted towards girls. I had a crush on a girl whom I saw first during an interview. I fell in love with her at the first sight. I shared my feeling towards her. When she realized that I'm a transgender she left me. I was depressed. And my friend told me to undergo medications. I obeyed her but there was of no use. Last week I met her once again. But there was a surprising moment. She told that she is interested in marrying if I undergo the transgender cosmetic procedure for ftm top surgery and change fully into a man. I'm little tensed thinking about the procedure. Kindly share your experiences and please pray for me.

[KathyLauren]

Hi, lindawilli33!

Welcome to Susan's.

Being MTF myself, I don't have any specific information for you.  I would however suggest that you talk with a gender therapist.  That process will help you decide what steps you need to take.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

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[Kylo]

DON'T do it because someone else promises you something. People are fickle and unreliable and transition isn't easy. If you are going to do it, do it because you think it is the right thing for you, not them.