I've been mulling over writing here about my latest attempt at finally getting started with the very beginning stages of attaining gender affirming hormone therapy.
I've been actively trying very hard to begin, for over five years now. Things that held me back had nothing to do with hesitation, but instead availability of competent providers. Financial issues were a problem at first, but not so much of a hurdle right now. I live in North Idaho - the largest hurdle.
Last November, I travelled to the nearest informed consent clinic. One in Renton, Washington. Just over six hundred miles round trip. Unknown to me until I had my first appointment, I had to wait until then before I was informed that I had was required to travel that distance for each subsequent appointment. I couldn't do that, do i fell back on searching for a competent therapist in my area, which there are few to none.
My options ran out, complicated by winter. Then, a few weeks ago I learned that the planned parenthood clinic in Spokane Washington was now offering transgender services. I called, asked if they had the Informed Consent Model, which they do. I made an appointment, and I was back on track.
Once I was there on the 7th, I checked in. My experience was dreadful. The provider exhibited very poor knowledge of gender affirming hormone therapy, she even said so in so many words. My worries began as I witnessed this poor performance. My blood pressure was getting high. They finally got around to checking my blood pressure at that time, and sure enough it was high, but not bad. I was asked some odd questions about my social life. If I had anxiety issues, which I said I did.
My provider left the room for over half the time spent in my appointment. She came back telling me she was worried about my blood pressure, and anxiety, and wanted to check something in my medical history, and that she was in a hurry to take care if her other patients - well, I was her patient currently, she should be working with me instead of taking off, she left again. After that, a nurse came in and led me out to finish my appointment with the billing department.
I was like... Hey - I'm supposed to get my blood drawn for lab work, or at least get a referral for lab work I was told I would have blood drawn, and I fasted for the ten hours required. The nurse said I was to make another appointment for that... Maybe.
I paid my bill, $150 for basically no services. I was very disappointed. I came to understand that the lab work should be the main determining factors initially, and go from there. I wasn't even close to that, and I felt like I was being milked for additional unnecessary appointments. Which is a VERY common practice in North Idaho.
I started making some calls, this didn't seem anywhere near right, or fair to me. It took the rest of my day, but I eventually had a conference call with the supervisor of the Spokane clinic, and the nurse who attended my appointment that day. I explained my issues, and concerns. It was universally decided that my appointment was very mishandled, and they wanted to make it up to me, and to ask for assistance with improving their services.
I made another appointment with a different provider within the same clinic. There are only two who offer transgender services. The supervisor said she will coordinate with my new provider to make sure I get the services I need, and pay for. It is another delay, in a five year long string of delays. I have mixed feelings, but I am still determined to keep going because nothing in my world matters more to me than to at least try to begin hormone therapy. Something I also told the supervisor. Something most any transgender person seeking hormone therapy has an incredible desire for, a very great need.
I believe that a provider offering services should be qualified to render services. Informed Consent is partly designed to help alleviate unwanted hurdles, and experiences. I don't think it's very good practice for a provider to make major decisions on unsubstantiated information. Then fail to understand that the lab work is where it begins, and unnecessarily draw the process out.
I apologize for the steam I let off with this writing. That day was not a good day, but it got a little better when the supervisor called me back expressing how they wanted to make things right. Before that happened, I spent a few long hours crying in my car. I have money to start, and maintain taking hormones, but I'm not made of money. The distances, and seemingly unending cycle of unqualified providers. So many obstacles. For a while I though I was cursed with bad luck. The last thing I want to do is feel sorry for myself, because it all starts falling down.
I have a new appointment, on the 20th. Another few weeks of waiting. I can do it, but I pray that no more roadblocks come my way. Keep trying.
