This is a very interesting topic.
Like Ashley, for my entire life I have had a lot of relationships with women. I have been married and had live in partners. However what I never knew until about 5 years ago was that I had very very low Testosterone levels (about 5.2 when I restarted HRT) which is below normal for a male. Having transitioned twice , I realised early on especially with my wife (who was incredibly beautiful, talented (although when I met her full of self doubt), although with my encouragement she eventually became a very successful author, She was very sexual, but the thing I could never give her and which eventually led to the break-up was sexual penetration as basically I was impotent. Of course in my mind I always envied her. But with her and all the other women in my life we have always had great "Lesbian" sexual relationships.
Of course as I became older I realised that basically over the many years I had always envied these women. With some especially my wife I adored her - sort of put on a pedestal. So when she had an affair (for the sexual penetration) and I made the mistake with her blurting that I thought I was trangender, this destroyed the marriage instantly.
Interestingly the one relationship with a woman that did last a long time was with a woman that I never found sexually attractive with us forming a firm bond.
These days especially in the last 4 years since I re-started my transition (the first time I lived for nearly 3 years full time) where I have been on a full HRT dose and especially in the last 4-6 months my sexual attraction has changed to probably more like bi-sexual. I am still attracted to women, but increasingly find men very nice. Its probably because from my latest blood assays, it turns out that my body is no longer producing any Testosterone and my T levels are very small, with LH levels well below 1. My Oestrogen levels however are consistently between 450-610 depending on when during the day my blood tests done. Also I have just completed my 3rd month on Progesterone (Promethium) which is also having an effect. As my doctor explain, Judith you are very definitely Hormonally female.
Now my hero worship of women is over, although I do still notice when a women is nicely dressed or with attractive make-up, but I am starting to really be attracted to men.
I am probably too late to be married to a man, but a nice relationship with a loving man (or dominant woman) would be nice at my time in life.
Judith
