Hey yall!!!

[MissJess3]

I'm Jess and well here I am after about 17 years of back and forth I have finally decided to jump in head first and stop trying to surpress and deny the person inside of me. I remember freshman year of high school feeling like I'm a girl, dressing up in my room and shaving my legs. I felt so ashamed but it felt so right. I had internet for the first time on my sega Dreamcast hah not even a computer yet. I looked up why I was feeling like this and how to become a girl. I got deep into it and discovered SRS, it was soooo scary but I wanted it. I decided these were wrong feelings and I buried them and was such a sad kid. High school was horrible, I mean I had friends and did things but had a huge burden of a secret which I couldn't tell anyone. By the end of high school I was so lonely and depreessed, I had never had a girlfriend so I decided by the time I was 21 and still hadn't gotten happier I was going to end my life. Well I got a gf and things got better but those feelings were always deep down. Things didn't work out, she thought I was gay she even asked once. I was into her but I also wanted to be her. This happened with many girls over the years. Anyways I blocked it out with alcohol and drugs for a long time but here I am 8 months sober with the feelings stronger than ever and I cannot do this anymore. I've lived half my life Basically trying to kill myself and I'm done!  I schedualled an appointment with a therapist and actually am contemplating calling a Dr. to get the ball rolling on HRT and informed consent.
That's my story and I'm happy to finally be here with like minded people!!! 32 years old isn't too old to start my new life right

[Jessica]

Hi Jess! Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica also! Your tale is very similar to many here, and 32 is not too old..... I'm 61.  You are headed in the right direction with therapy to help discover yourself.
I see your new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[MissJess3]

Hey Jessica thanks for welcoming me! My birth name is actually Jesse and I plan on keeping it, is that weird? I will be sure to check out all the rules of the forum, thanks for that as well. I know my story is just alike many people and it's amazing and cool how we all have it in common and how sad life was and how amazing it can become. I'm so thankful for so many resources out there and just happy to be part of the community. I still have a ton of doubt but I know that's normal. I wish I hadn't waited so long now my hair is ->-bleeped-<- :/ but I'm in the best shape of my life mentally and phissicaly so that's a plus right.

[Jessica]

Hey Jessica thanks for welcoming me! My birth name is actually Jesse and I plan on keeping it, is that weird? I will be sure to check out all the rules of the forum, thanks for that as well. I know my story is just alike many people and it's amazing and cool how we all have it in common and how sad life was and how amazing it can become. I'm so thankful for so many resources out there and just happy to be part of the community. I still have a ton of doubt but I know that's normal. I wish I hadn't waited so long now my hair is ->-bleeped-<- :/ but I'm in the best shape of my life mentally and phissicaly so that's a plus right.

I'm birth name is Jeff, so no it's not weird to change your name to something similar.  It makes it easier for you and others.
Your hair may improve after some time on HRT, mine did.
I'm so happy you are here!  I will be looking forward to your posts and comments!

Happy Valentine's Day!
💕💕💕💕
Hugs and squeezes, Jess

[JulieAllana]

     If you have a feminine name and want to keep it, more power to ya!

     32 is DEFINITELY not too old, I am 41 and a month into my journey (no hrt yet, but hopefully soon).  These feelings typically only continue to intensify as you get older so no time like the present!  I wish I had back the 9 years that you will get, but such is life.  I am grateful that I will be transitioning now rather than in 10 or 20 years and I hope you will be too. 

    As you have probably figured out, transitioning is multifaceted and for most of us isn't easy.  I have found it easiest to approach in smaller steps and one thing at a time.  Use the ladies here as a resource.  We are warm and welcoming and range from the just beginning like you to having completed their transitions decades ago.  There is a whole wealth of experience and practical advice as well as emotional support.

     As you read and share and help others yourself, you will find deeper understanding about yourself and your own thoughts and dreams.

           Hugs,
                 Julie

[V M]

Hi Jess 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M