Bare with me, I'm horrible at these kind of things.
This started as a text document I made to clear my mind, it made me realize something.
My Story
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I was transfemale but, after more then 2 years of transitioning, It started to feel as if I was acting a part rather then letting my natural personality take over. Not wanting to put myself in the dark, deep, and scary hole I was in before, I decided against "Detransitioning".
After putting so much work into CONVINCING myself I was female just to retract the statement, I became quite confused. I came to the conclusion that maybe I should stop acting and "Let it go", so to speak. It's a lot harder said then done as my desire for knowledge and understanding is unyielding.
List Time
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- When someone ask me what gender I am, I usually give an unclear answer like neither. Saying male makes me feel uncomfortable and saying female makes me feel like I'm lying.
- I blend in with the females at my job without flaw and only 3 people know of my "condition", excluding family.
- When I close my eyes and picture myself, I picture myself as genderless.
- I have no interest in dating and/or romantic relationships, it's pointless and I am proud of this fact.
- I don't like it when people call me *****.(<-Real Name; Can't bring myself to type it.)
- I have chosen Lal as my new name.
- I am use to people referring to me as female and thus unbothered by it.
- When people refer to me as male, I am a little disconcerted but otherwise fine.
- I much rather people jut refer to me by Lal. It makes so much more sense.
