Misgendering

[MelissaAnn]

Being misgendered in the beginning as you start your transition stings real bad.
I used to get upset by it but no longer. I know who I am and that's the most important thing. Being misgendered tells me more about the person doing it than it does about me...

[Gertrude]

I think context matters a bit. There is a person transitioning where I work and when in meetings without her, she's referred to by he by some, even though they use the female name. They're struggling because their brain is trained to identify that person as a certain gender. It takes time and it's getting better. If they don't know you, it's different. They rely on their biases. Someone worldly and astute will treat someone as they present gender wise regardless of passing or not. It's respectful. Some folks aren't there yet and might never be.


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[Devlyn]

I think context matters a bit. There is a person transitioning where I work and when in meetings without her, she's referred to by he by some, even though they use the female name. They're struggling because their brain is trained to identify that person as a certain gender. It takes time and it's getting better. If they don't know you, it's different. They rely on their biases. Someone worldly and astute will treat someone as they present gender wise regardless of passing or not. It's respectful. Some folks aren't there yet and might never be.


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That right there.

[Bea1968]

I don't worry about misgendering by strangers as it can be tricky sometimes.  Took me years to gender myself correctly, even.   Why worry about a stranger.  Now, if it is someone who knows me, I might take it more personally especially if it seems they are being intentionally obtuse. 

[jkredman]

I don't worry about misgendering by strangers as it can be tricky sometimes.  Took me years to gender myself correctly, even.   Why worry about a stranger.  Now, if it is someone who knows me, I might take it more personally especially if it seems they are being intentionally obtuse.

Yes, I'm probably the worst at misgendering myself.  Someone can refer describe me as "her" in my presence, and there will be a delay, or I can totally miss the reference was to me. 

If I'm referred to as "Kate", well I know who she is.  I've been living with her all my life.


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[Linde]

I think context matters a bit. There is a person transitioning where I work and when in meetings without her, she's referred to by he by some, even though they use the female name. They're struggling because their brain is trained to identify that person as a certain gender. It takes time and it's getting better. If they don't know you, it's different. They rely on their biases. Someone worldly and astute will treat someone as they present gender wise regardless of passing or not. It's respectful. Some folks aren't there yet and might never be.


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I have the identical experience, some people use my new name but in conjunction with a he/him,  On older gentleman seems not to be able to do the switch, and uses both of my names the dead name and my new name at the same time.  I think that is almost cute! 
Nobody who misgenders me does it because the vicious, and I am not mad about this, some correct themselves immediately others don't even realize it.  So what, not a real problem for me!

[JinnieY]

It is especially disturbing when they address you with the inappropriate pronoun while giving you the look of "Hah you can't trick me, Sir!"