HELP! Calcium Chloride Injection PROBLEM

[foreverforfun]

Yesterday I injected 1cc of 75% calcium chloride in a water solution into my left testicle as a way to castrate myself. I understood there would be some swelling and pain for a few days. however, after 24 hours my scrotum has also swollen and gotten sore as well. There is no color change but I found the injection site and can easily squeeze a clear pus out. I am afraid that my testicle leaked and now my scrotum has been ulcerated. Should I go to the ER tonight?

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Get to the ER as soon as possible. It could be an infection or gangrene and only a doctor will be able to determine what you are dealing with. Doing this is extremely dangerous and if you wait it could endanger your life.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[PollyQMcLovely]

I really hope you left for the ER 10 minutes ago.

[foreverforfun]

So.... I did go to the emergency room. I told them exactly what I did and why, I never lied once. After 3 hours I got an IV and an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was the same as when I did a bad alcohol injection a while back. We talked and she was nice, we even had a few laughs. Then another 3 hours went by, I heard that they couldn't reach the on-call urologist.

At this point, we've established that I have an infection accompanied by a fever. The Dr. came in and told me that its bad but not an emergency and referred me to a wound clinic and the same urologist that wouldn't get out of bed. I told him that this is wrong and I could be severely injured due to the tendency of cacl to cause necrosis. I told him that I'd not stop trying until this happened. He said that I should see a therapist in Seattle (2 hours away). He prescribed me a run of antibiotics and sent me on my way.

Now to back up a little, I need to mention the nurses. The one that checked me in, was so nice to me and made me feel safe. She was so understanding. My main nurse, though she seemed rushed, never treated me anything but nice. She explained things and made me comfortable. After I had dressed the nurse that checked me in came to give me my paperwork but when she shut the door for privacy, she looked at me with so much sympathy because she knew this was the worst outcome for me. I couldn't help but start crying because I felt completely shattered and (unexpectedly to be honest) she understood what I was going through and she teared up a little.

I could barely hold it together on my way out the door but once I was outside, I let loose. I cried for a good ten minutes before I left. I got home and indulged in a reckless amount of weed and wild turkey.

Fast forward to today, I came up to the mountains in my trailer. It's gloriously quiet. So many places to offroad and dirtbike and hike. I love the peace and quiet and quiet, I really really needed this. The downside is that most of my scrotum is firm and feels like it's on fire more often than not. Also, it is legitimately the size of a softball and it's hard to walk. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my vacation for the next two days and take it easy while I get done with the antibiotics.

I know I've done some things wrong but I'm just trying to feel ok with myself and I dont know what to do anymore.

[Dena]

I'm glad you checked back and let us know how your doing. As for what you should do, that's what we're here for. If you prefer to continue living in the role your in but want relief from your dysphoria, that's possible. If you want to transition, we have a wealth of information here. Many of us considered doing what you did so don't feel any shame over what happened. The point is it's time to address this problem and there is hope. My signature contains my surgical date. It was difficult to transition then however today there are so many options available that didn't even exist back then.

Get to know us a little and ask any question you have. that is the whole purpose of this site.

[Dani]

Many years ago, when there was very little help for people with gender dysphoria, there were many cases of self castration, usually using a razor blade or knife of some sort. I have never heard of injecting a hypertonic solution of Calcium Chloride to induce castration. A different form of Calcium Chloride is sometimes used for animal sterilization, but it is still much quicker, cheaper and safer to castrate surgically. 

With today's help and understanding of our condition, there is really no need for dangerous procedures. There are surgeons who will castrate if you have a therapists letter. The cost is not cheap, but not outrageously expensive either. At least a surgeon taking care of things is a safe way to remove testes.

[AnonyMs]

I know I've done some things wrong but I'm just trying to feel ok with myself and I dont know what to do anymore.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes there's no good options in life. We just have to do the best we can and keep going.

No doubt there's others in on this forum, and future members to come, who've been in very difficult situations before. It may take a while, but stick around and talk to them.

Many years ago, when there was very little help for people with gender dysphoria, there were many cases of self castration, usually using a razor blade or knife of some sort. I have never heard of injecting a hypertonic solution of Calcium Chloride to induce castration. A different form of Calcium Chloride is sometimes used for animal sterilization, but it is still much quicker, cheaper and safer to castrate surgically.

There was someone on another forum who tried the home surgical approach last year, and she came very very close to dying from blood loss, and ended up on the news. I've heard of calcium chloride and also alcohol before.

[foreverforfun]

Well thank you everyone. I think my plan right now is to heal from this but also find a therapist nearby to address this with.

[Laurie]

 Hi,

  I'm Laurie  just in case we haven't met. I really like your intention to get a therapist for this. Make it a gender therapist because they will understand your need and they are trained to help you with issues that surround your need to be rid of them. It is the smartest thing I have read from you. I am not criticizing, Hun. You need help every bit as much as I need help from my therapist. It was only a short time ago I did not want to be here. Medication is helping me and so is my talks with others here and my therapist. Without which I doubt I would be here to talk to you. Don't despair as there is help and hope.

Hugs,
   Laurie