Gaining credit as a woman

[CosmicJoke]

I felt compelled to ask this question, but I was wondering if there are other MtF who have experienced the same thing. When I was younger, I had these kinds of romanticized ideas of what it was like to be a woman such as wearing dresses and a man falling in love with you, treating you like a lady.
Now that I am 25 and actually live as a woman, I find it is nothing like this in real life. I look over my life and see that in today's society masculinity seems to be more valued in both men and women, while femininity is for the most part seen as something shameful.
For example, I have two living grandparents from my father's side who it took me many years to discover I actually have no relationship with for this very reason. My brother was named after my father who was named after his father. My grandparents treated my brother like a King while they basically do not accept the fact that I am transgender and have treated me very crappy for the most part. They are very old school and probably won't live much longer, but they have done alot of emotional damage to me that is probably going to take a very long time to heal.
I often do question if it would have just been better had I been born genetically female, though they probably still would have treated me like dirt given their general views on things and closed mindedness.
So I was wondering if anyone else here can relate on some level?

[KathyLauren]

This relates to another thread around here someplace about loss of male privilege.

I am fortunate not to have experienced these effects myself.  But it is true that, in many respects, women (both trans and cis) are treated as second-class citizens.  For example, women still only get paid 85% of what men make for the same work.

In fact, just last week, Maclean's magazine in Canada did a stunt to illustrate that.  The cover had two prices on it and two barcodes.  The price for woman was the regular price, and the price for men was 15% higher, because the earn 15% more.

Of course, it is not just in wages.  Women are not listened to in meetings or discussions.  Not nearly enough of us are in political office or in corporate boardrooms.

Welcome to the other side of the street.  No one would transition MTF transition for the opportunities.  Having dudes hold the door for us, if they even bother, doesn't exactly make up for all the other stuff.  Women's Lib still has a long way to go. 

We only do this because we have to be our true selves.

[Harley Quinn]

I see a couple different topics here.  Real life never lives up to the fantacy.  Sure, lots of things would be easier if we were born in our preferred gender.  That's a given. 

As for the Maculinity and Femininity debate... tale as old as time.  I don't believe that masculinity is valued more.  In fact, Masculinity and Feminity aren't really the issue.  It's when they lump "self confidence" and "self sufficiency" into being Masculine, and the "neediness" of the damsel in distress into femininity that you have the issues.  Nobody wants to deal with constantly helpless/needy people, especially in the work place.  The softer spoken feminine response can be every bit as direct as the masculine one when supervising or reporting.  It's still all in your self confidence.  Where as the unsure "damsel in distress" response would come off wishy washy.  Using the Damsel in destress approach to contanstly need assistance with a task will also get old.  Self reliance is again the key, rather than Masculine/Feminine.  You can take many scenarios and it still comes back to that.

I personally go for a highly feminine appearance and attitude/persona, but I also try to exude self confidence and self reliance.  I have never really been faulted for anything relating to my dress, or nails; or hair for that matter.  I do get called out for looking nicer than the occasion has called for, but that's nothing more than pride in one's appearance.  I still run a grinder in the shop like a champ, no question.  I still have no problem telling someone that they screwed up or did a great, in no uncertain terms.  Feminine responses are typically more articulate than the Masculine responses, but both get the point across.  However the feminine response is less likely to create animosity, a far better quality to have in my opinion.

[HappyMoni]

I don't know if I had been born female whether I would have this quality as strong as I do now, but there is a strong sense of righteous indignation that I can get. If grandparents treated me that way, I would say to hell with them. There is a lot to what Harley says about self confidence. In a way, I think there is a prejudice that cuts across gender lines. If you are good looking and young, your power is greater with either sex. Generally speaking, I think woman are very powerful, but often times don't realize it. That is a shame.

[noleen111]

Something i have come to learn as a woman, it often not men that belittle woman's achievements, but other women

Its sad, how women sometimes go after each other. A nice example

When a man is promoted or doing well, the other men all want to be his buddy (cool by association)..

When a women is promoted or is doing well other women..  the claws come out and say things.. she must be sleeping her way to the top, especially if she is very feminine. This is so sad.

Women tear down, men suck up.

Me, I personally don't care what other woman say.. (maybe its an advantage of being trans as I there maybe some male buried very deep)..  I also go for highly feminine appearance and attitude/persona. I am very proud of being girly, so I do wear a lot of dresses, high heel shoes. I also wear makeup, love painting my nails. I love being pretty.