Questioning??

[Utterly Confused]

Hello,

So I am yet to begin transitioning because I am having some issues with how I feel about it.  I know I want to transition because I feel so uncomfortable as a biological woman but I love the whole woman facade (with all the gowns and makeup).  My friend (the only person who knows how I feel) said I should transition and then become a drag queen.  Does that work?  I would love to be a drag queen but I am scared that people will judge me. 

I am also having the problem of coming out about it.  My parents have always wanted daughters and as the eldest there is a lot of pressure on me.  I am about to go study medicine and am in my final year of school (at an all girls school mind you).  I don't want to have to change my school with only 6 months left to go.  I am just so confused about how to go about it.  Any suggestions??

And finally I am scared  to begin T and have surgeries (if you really want to be a darl would you be able to message me to answer my weird questions and help me clarify stuff, I need to clarify stuff as it alleviates my excess stress ).  I  have read so many of the posts but I am still so confused on how T works and I am worried that it wouldn't work on me (irrational fear).  I would go all out when it came to surgeries but what kind of recovery period do I need?  I am a high level horserider and I don't want to give it up after I transition, is it still possible to ride after bottom surgery?

Finally (sorry) I identify to myself as male and I use male pronouns when I talk about myself to my two friend who know that I am transitioning (they use male pronouns to me too, I love them for it).  So I am gay (I am not attracted to women), is it normal for transgender men to be gay? 

Thank you to anyone who answers 

[Alexthecat]

How you present to the world, how you feel inside, and who you are attracted to are separate from one another. Read up on it. http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2015/03/the-genderbread-person-v3/

[Ryuichi13]

Hello,

So I am yet to begin transitioning because I am having some issues with how I feel about it.  I know I want to transition because I feel so uncomfortable as a biological woman but I love the whole woman facade (with all the gowns and makeup).  My friend (the only person who knows how I feel) said I should transition and then become a drag queen.  Does that work?  I would love to be a drag queen but I am scared that people will judge me. 

I am also having the problem of coming out about it.  My parents have always wanted daughters and as the eldest there is a lot of pressure on me.  I am about to go study medicine and am in my final year of school (at an all girls school mind you).  I don't want to have to change my school with only 6 months left to go.  I am just so confused about how to go about it.  Any suggestions??

And finally I am scared  to begin T and have surgeries (if you really want to be a darl would you be able to message me to answer my weird questions and help me clarify stuff, I need to clarify stuff as it alleviates my excess stress ).  I  have read so many of the posts but I am still so confused on how T works and I am worried that it wouldn't work on me (irrational fear).  I would go all out when it came to surgeries but what kind of recovery period do I need?  I am a high level horserider and I don't want to give it up after I transition, is it still possible to ride after bottom surgery?

Finally (sorry) I identify to myself as male and I use male pronouns when I talk about myself to my two friend who know that I am transitioning (they use male pronouns to me too, I love them for it).  So I am gay (I am not attracted to women), is it normal for transgender men to be gay? 

Thank you to anyone who answers 

This is my opinion, but anyone that judges you is either not someone you want to associate with, or hopefully, someone you only see once, like on a public bus.  But think of it this way, are you REALLY going to let other people choose YOUR life for YOU?  Its your life, after all. 

And the idea of transitioning and still wearing female clothes is a decision only you can make.  If it makes you happy to be genderfluid/female/male/androgynous in how you dress, I say GO FOR IT!  Its not hurting anyone, right?

As for transitioning changes themselves, this might help.
http://www.ftmguide.org/ttherapybasics.html 

There's all kind  of good info on that link. 

Also, youtube is a great source to find out more info.  I recommend going to Chase Ross' Transgender 101 series.  He's very informative, funny and his info is easy to understand. 

Be advised, testosterone is a very powerful hormone, and some things such as your voice change and bottom growth are irreversible, while others, such as facial hair, could lighten/lessen if you stop T.  It works to some degree on everyone, so don't worry.  If you've stopped growing/past the age of 18 or 20, it probably won't help you get any taller, but depending on your genetics, you could grow facial hair, your voice could deepen, you might become more muscular, and develop other outwordly male atributes.

If you are worried that your parents aren't going to accept your transitioning/will stop paying for school, you could wait to transition medically.  There are other ways to transition, from socially (having people refer to you as male, coming out on social media,) presenting as male by dressing like a man, possibly cutting your hair in a more masculine hairstyle, and more.  The decisions as to how far you wish to go are completely up to you!  Just do what you feel is safe for you. 

Once you heal from any kind of bottom surgery, there should be no reason why you can't continue to horseback ride.  Just make sure you get cleared by your surgeon first.  You want to be sure you're not going to hurt yourself by riding too soon.

If you are a man that likes men, chances are you're gay.  And yes, its normal, just like any other kind of sexuality.

If you have specific questions, feel free to ask.  Many of us have been there, are where you are now, or might end up where you are currently.  There are plenty of people willing to answer your questions on this forum, both publicly and privately, me included. ☺

Take care bro!

Ryuichi
 

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

[Jessica]

Hi Utterly Confused!  Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica, a transgender woman.  There is nothing that says you can't be a gay transgender man.  Societal norms is what has messed up people forever.  There are no "norms" in life.
I see your new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members about yourself. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html

Things that you should read

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[widdershins]

If you only have six months left, I honestly wouldn't bother coming out at your current school. You don't need to be "out" at school to be able to go on T. And any effects you'd have on T in those last few months, even if you managed to start right now, would be unlikely to be noticeable to others. At most, you'd have some voice dropping/cracking, and that can easily be explained away as seasonal allergies, bronchitis, etc.

The only issue is that having a diploma from an all girl's school could hurt your chances to go stealth with future employers, at least local ones who are aware that it's an all girl's school. Something to consider if you plan to remain in the area.

Unfortunately, if you're in the US, you probably do have to come out to your parents if you want to medically transition soon, since you're probably going to have to use their insurance. Testosterone itself isn't terribly expensive out of pocket, but the bloodwork and doctor's visits can be if you don't qualify for/have access to a low-income clinic.

There are medical conditions that make you insensitive to androgens, but if you had one of those, the red flags would already have shown up by your age.

[MeTony]

Welcome to Susan's.

I'd wait 6 months until school is done.

What you CAN du now is setting up an appointment with a gender therapist. Not any therapist. A gender therapist will help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.

You can be gay, straight, bisexual, asexual etc and transgender. It has nothing to do with each other. I am bisexual leaning towards gay.

Beside talking to a gender therapist, you have found the right place for researching yourself. There are oceans of information on this site and the people on the forum are nice and understanding with a lot of knowledge and experience. If you have questions, just ask away!


Tony

[SeptagonScars]

Hello, and welcome. Yes, of course you can transition and be a drag queen. Lots of trans guys are feminine, and there's nothing wrong with that. I've had long hair and eyeliner through most of my transition, and even did dress up in full on drag (with glitter eyeshadow, corset, wig, high heels and all) on a few occasions well into my transition. People around you might get confused by that, but the thing is that gender identity (who you are) and gender expression (how you dress) aren't always the same.

If it's just 6 months left at your school, I'd suggest you try to bear with it and wait it out. You could come out to your parents before if you think you can manage it, but if I were you I'd wait it out with the school.

It's unlikely that T wouldn't have any effects on you, more likely it may have quite a lot of effect. Some of which are irreversible. For surgery recovery time depends on a lot of different things. Which method/type of surgeries, how many stages of the surgery (there's often more than one stage for bottom surgery), if you get complications, and just how fast your individual body heals as well as your health in general. I can't give a correct estimation of time, but at least months. I don't see there would be any reason you can't get back to horse back riding after surgery when you're healed up. You might need to invest in a new saddle post-op, though. I heard from another trans guy who's also riding and had bottom surgery. I think it was something about him needing more space/differently shaped saddle for the comfort of his balls.

It's definitely normal to be gay, whether trans or cis. I'm a gay trans man, cause I'm into other men but not into women. It's also apparently quite common, cause I keep hearing from the straight guys that "everyone here seems to be gay"